Para sa 'yo.

I'll get the hang of it. Sige lang.

Opss. Let's talk about it. Relax.

The zombie troop @ Cantina. Cheers

Beer - Itchyworms

Nais kong magpakalasing
Dahil wala ka na
nakatingin sa salamin
At nag-iisa
Nakatanim pa rin
Ang gumamelang
Binalik mo sa`kin nang tayo`y maghiwalay
Ito`y katulad
Ng damdamin ko
Kahit buhusan mo ng beer ayaw pang mamatay
Pre-chrous *
Giliw, wag mo sanang limutin
Ang mga araw na hindi sana maglaho
Mga anak at bahay nating pinaplano
Lahat ng ito`y nawala
Nung iniwan mo ako kaya ngayon
Chorus **
Ibuhos na ang beer
Sa aking lalamunan
Upang malunod na ang
Puso kong nahihirapan
Bawat patak anong sarap
Ano ba talagang mas gusto ko
Ang beer na ito
O ang pag-ibig mo
(intro)
(repeat 1st verse chords)
Nais kong magpakasabog
Dahil olats ako
Kahit ano hihithitin
Kahit tambutso
Kukuha ako ng
Beer at ipapakulo
Sa kaldero't lalanghapin
Ang usok nito
lahat ay aking gagawin
Upang hindi ko na isiping
Nag-iisa na ako

Ang beer na 'to o ang pag-ibig mo? Pwede bang 'ang beer na 'to AT ang pag-ibig mo?'

Yesterday was super labo. As in. I went home with Laine and we were like emo talk all the way to my house. Well you know how it is now. Oo yun na yun.

Here are a lits of things to be noted:

1. The big game on Thursday. - Lahat na yata either magcucut ng class or talagang aabsent just to watch the game. Oooh crap. There was a long line of people kanina sa Blue Eagle gym. We even saw people carrying mats and pillows. Nagsleep over just to buy Gen. Ad tickets? Tsk tsk tsk. I think it's not worth it. Haaay. Sana Niko will 'try' to hook us up with some tickets. I'm just asking for one Upper A!!! Pleeaase? "I'll pay you double!!!" - Berta =D Kidding.ü
Shiznit. This is it! Go my baby! I'll be cheering for you! Laine and Ria, our baby? I sooo have to be there. Hahaha=p One big fight!!!

2. Fun day out during the long break. - After our physics long test (which I regret having to study for because I'd fail it anyway), we were so hurrying up so we can buy tickets at the gym. But, upon seeing the long line and upon finding out that it's only gen ad, wag nalang. We rode in Niko's car and we had to find his brother first because he had Niko's tickets. We went to Blue Ridge because Niko thought he was there. But then apparently, he wasn't so went back to Katipunan instead. We ate breakfast at Mcdo, and did a lot of trivial and nonsensical stuff:

~babbling about how perfect Chris Tiu is
~reminscing our UAAP glorified days
~the emo eyeliner thing by Mico
~singing songs from emo to praise songs to nursery rhymes

When we were about to do the round song of Row Your Boat, Niko suggested that we do it in his car because it was too humiliating if we do it in public. Hahaha=p Sa mcdo pa talaga.

Then, roadtrip and soundtrip. We went around the whole college campus including the Jesuit Seminary area. Then we stayed in the car, listened to cool rock songs and whatnot. Fun and relaxing chill out with my friends. Thanks you guys.

Niko - ang major ticket boy ng bayan. The pioneer of the UAAP livewatch gang and who cares about nothing but the game on Thursday kaya sabaw sa mga LT today
Laine - ang maysakit. She feels like she's gonna die so she entrusted her dvd collection to Ria and I. Wooohooo!!!=p Hahahaha=p
Mico - isang emo who's carrying an eyeliner and who sports his emo eyes
Ria - Yellowcard and rocker chick na hindi akalain at first glance

and tomorrow's birthday boooy!!!: 'tenen'!!! Jenjenen... general! Chiefy John!!!
-- hindi poa yan yung profile nila pero yan yung today.ü

How did we fit in sa Honda Jazz? Secret!!! Hahaha=p
(Hahahaha=p) At least I get to take my mind off some 'stuff'. Kaya lang I got pisssed because while we were walking at the Sec area, _____ and ____ were walking making pa-sweet and all that. Oo na sige na. Hater.>=pLaine was right. He is just crush material. Basta cute na. Pero taken eh. Sorry=c Then now, Ria and I are here at Matteo Ricci doing nothing because the worse is yet to come. After the long tests and all that, I know hell weeks are still to come. But hey, if we are gonna be declared as this season's champs, UAAP holiday na'to.

3.Career mode in school - behold my new mantra: Studying is fun. Studying is fun...

*Sigh* I can't pretend I'm okay because on the one hand, I'm really not. Pero, what the heck. He's so malabo. Grrrr. He called me up last night and we were just talking like the normal way that we used to. Parang everything's okay but it's not. See? It is a blur. He's so malabo talaga. =c
But I'm thankful all the same. At least I know that he didn't really mean what he said about you know... Hindi nya rin kayang panindigan. I knew it.=D Well you know, I felt that way before. When I was about to take my entrance test in the different colleges which I applied in, I felt as if it were a drastic change in my life that you, a whole lot is in store for me without keeping my feet grounded. But now I know that I was wrong and that my life's pretty much the same. And that I'm glad to have chosen the things I got to keep: him, my friends, family and all the memories of highschool. Besides, some things are better left behind. Pero it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to give up people just because you're entering a new chapter in your life. Cherish the fact that you need those people to travel with you. Feeling mo porket college ka na everything's new. Hindi rin. Feeling mo madaming chicks. I once thought that way. But then I'm glad that I've opted to keep you. I didn't have to give you up in the first place. I mean, it's pathetic to rid yourself of the person you love because you feel the adrenaline rush of the change that you're undergoing right? And that you're just overwhelmed with all of it. But I understand. I just hope you realize it in the end. Diba? It's a matter of having the one person whom you still have after all you've been through. You know it's true love when it sticks with you all the way. Pero siyempre, you have to stand by her rin. If not, then it's useless.

Nothing to do as of now. Surf the net and stalk people if I must.♥

Life goes on after all of this.

This is finally it.

The weekend zoomed by like crazy. Friday was kinda fun because of the last InTACt session for the sem and the powermatch-debate-til-you-go-crazy-on-a-Friday-evening mania. Jeff and I didn't get to break. Hahaha. Asa pa. We didn't win even once. The highest rank that we got was third. Kawawa.

Saturday. Hon and I celebrated our last monthsary (ever?). We went somewhere and then after that just stayed home to watch Click, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and freaky Friday. Talk about a movie marathon. It was fun. Plus, I got to stay up late to do some other stuff.

Sunday was the first game for the finals. I was gonna go to Araneta because I practically had a ticket even if it were only in the Upper B. But then, I got tamad because I had my . So I lost every enthusiasm to travle all the way to Araneta to watch the big game. But no sweat. It was fun and it was miraculous. Waaaah! We still won at the last second! Hail Doug Kramer! Hail Macky Escalona! Hail Norman Black and to the Blue Eagles!!!=p

So there. I'm now facing a pile of work and a whole life ahead of me: after a 'tragic break-up'. (Sa mga magrerejoice diyan kasi he's finally single, don't be too sure. We haven't taken the last of our chances just yet. Wag makapal ang fez okay?)

We both talked about it. Settled with something. Cried a huge deal. Whatever2. I'm sort of keeping my hopes up for the sweet comeback. After all, we've been through this before so there's an extra ounce of patience needed for things to go back to the way they used to be. Or maybe not. Maybe things have changed completely. Maybe we have changed completely. But it's never too late to surmise and realize things in order to know which ones are worth keeping and worth fighting for. Let's just hope that things will be better soon. I know everything happens for a reason. It may sound too cliche to say that, but hey, it's better than just letting things happen without knowing why they're happening in the first place right?

An ode to my single life. Well, I'm not single. Technically I am, but deep inside I'm not. I'm somewhere in between. Then why am I so happy? Well, honestly, I'm not. It's just that, I have run out of any other options for me to find reasons to finally let it go.

I guess, that's the way it is. Life offers us a bite of something scrumptious so that our tastebuds can enjoy the mouth-watering goodness of that delectable phenomenon. But sooner or later, when the taste has gone and we're left with a bland taste leaving us wanting for more, we find it hard to wait for the next bite. Our tastebuds let an ounce of bitterness, making us wallow in misery. But we just have to accept that we can never have too much of the good thing. Life offers us a once in a lifetime sensation that if not enjoyed and savored in every moment that it lingers in our mouth, we regret having to take the taste for granted. Life offers a bite of something and in the same way bites us back with the harsh realities that can ruin our preference or taste, depending on how it leaves us: bitter, sour or with a tinge of sweetness enough to remember for the rest of our lives.

But that bite will never run out if you're meant to have it in your life. That's why there's always hope.

Good relationships don't always last but the time spent on it is enough to change lives forever.

True love doesn't always work out but it doesn't mean that the love will never carry on forever. In fact, it will, for the heart knows what it truly beholds even in the absence of that person. For that's how you know that you truly love someone, even if he's gone, he still stays in the place where you have always kept him.

Pain and sadness will be there to haunt you but the memories cherished will always make you strong.

Hold on. We are going to make it. Once in our lives we did and it has made all the difference. See you soon. As I have said months ago, everything is bound to fall on its right place. I love you♥

Back on track.

And so another day. Math long test over, the cheering competition done and a lot of stuff on the weeks ahead.

1.Math long test.
-- It was great although I know that there may have been a lot of wrong answers because of my carelessness, but then, I know I studied and understood the lessons enough to not get a C or C+ (let's leave the B for dreaming)

2.CSA Cheering Competition
-- Hon and I didn't really get to plan things out the previous night because I know for a fact that he came home late because of the last minute preparations that they had to do. So I waited until morning when I had the chance to settle plans with Laine of what I was going to do. I decided that I was gonna go, but I told hon that I wouldn't. I ust told him the lame excuse that I had to have training or else I'll get kicked out of the team and I didn't know if he bought it. Laine, Niko, Ria and I left Ateneo at 1:30 and the cheering proper eas already starting. Tae. The Seniors performed first. We got there a little before two and the Freshmen were starting already. *sigh* I didn't get the chance to watch him perform. But then again, he saw me, among the sweaty crowd and all that. We finished the competition. Although, it turned out that it really sucked for the Seniors because they got beaten by the Freshmen and the Juniors. That's really really bad. I mean, never mind the reputation and all that, but the fact that they allotted a lot of time for it considering that they are the busiest batch, they should've been given something in return for their efforts. Besides, I know they did really well even if I didn't get to watch them do their thing. Kawawa sobra. If I were them, shit. Total breakdown. It's like the graduating class did not have the chance to leave a legacy to the school. Siguro yung batch pa nila Laine pero... Ayun. Basta. They just have to stand strong and I hope that they will be more united as a batch. Diba?=p That's a positive way to look at it. Plus, they can't give the lower batches the license to bully them just because they got defeated in the cheering competition. So what? Seniors rule mehn!!!=p Hahaha.ü I felt sorry for hon. Lalo na I know that he really dedicated a lot of ime for the team and the batch. Oh well. Sayang. Okay lang yan.

3. Dinner date at G4
-- After the competition, the four of us went to Glorietta to eat. We dined at Mexicali, had our share of kwentos and all that. Then,we went home. Laine even dropped by my house pa. I showed her my room and she attempted to have a sneak-peek of my closet. Gawd no! It's like a big pile of mush whatever. Hahaha. Sorry dear. Promise, next time. When my whole wardrobe's color coded na. Hahah=p

4.Events left and right
-- Upcoming:
*UAAP finals game 1 - Sunday
*Powermatch Rounds 2 and 3 - Friday
*Alexi's birthday dinner @ Eastwood -- Friday
*Obsessions: Celebrity Shindig - Saturday
*Happy 15th month!!! - Saturday
* YB Staff meeting
*ACTM Sportsfest
- Just received Innah's invitation to her debutü

Ano pa? Long test, blahblahblah. Hell weeks coming! Actually, October is like the major hell month of the sem. Ay nako.

Btw, hon and I are sorta back to normal. I'm lovng it.♥

Break time. -- this is for you.

Wooohoo! Math long test later.ü I think I've studied pretty much everything that's bound to come out in the LT later. Haha. Goodluck.

How do you fall out of love for someone?

'You cannot love and hold yourself back from its full force; love is about placing that bet, taking that risk and letting go of fear. Love is dangerous, for it will always ask you to jump to the chasm with your eyes closed, with nothing but trust to break your fall.'

I was once happy with him. That once was almost always. Looking back, I'd see how far I've gone through and how strong I've emerged in the trials I have come face to face with. The promise of forever was quintessential then. We were both clinging to it, putting every ounce of effort into making it work and just trying to make ourselves happy in the process. We were both looking foward to the life that we have planned to live together, forever.

But what happened? After all these months you seemed to have just changed your mind. You have been reinstating the issue of getting tired of the relationship routine but then those attempts were so futile. After an hour or so, you go back to your old self again. The sweet, charming, caring, loving and understanding guy who has offered me his heart and hand to forever's oblivion. So again, what happened?

I keep on questioning myself even if by doing so, I know my quest for answers is in vain. But can you give me what I want? Are you still willing to pursue this wholeheartedly? Or are you sticking to your words? Because in case you haven't noticed, I have been sacrificing everything just for us to be what we still are. (Or maybe what we were used to, I might be mistaken) If you truthfully said that you love or love-d me, can you just make that your basis into leaving me an explanation as to how you are treating me now? It's the least thing you can do after leaving my heart scathed, scarred, battered, worn-out. Sorry.

I don't know. Thoughts have been spurring from my mind. Maybe I should give in. Or not. My heart tells me that I can't but there's a part of me which is trying hard to let go. There is no use in fooling myself that you'd go back to your old self if something really did happen. Unless of course, you'd care to explain that. Please?

What happened to us? I would want to believe that everything was real. That even if we had our own share of problems and misdeeds, we were able to go through them. Does this justify my assertion of this being just a phase? Or is it really the end? I can't struggle on this by my own. That's why there's the two of us in this relationship.

It's a fact that can't be ignored. We were happy. We were crazy about each other. That's why we're still here in the first place. But should we stop?=c

I love you.='c I love you so much. Did you really mean it when you told me that too?

Why is it so easy for you to let this go? Why are you telling me that you still need me all the same? You just want me to give you breathing space and all that. I'm not strangling you to death. I don't even know if I still hold your heart and hands. I really don't know. Is this all my fault? Have I loved you so much that's why this hurts this much?='c

Are you still willing to take another chance? Or have you completely erased me out of your life? Did everything else matter when you thought about leaving me?

If you want to do all of this, then why are you holding me back? Why do you have to keep me searching for the answers? Why do you still want me to run after you? You know very well that I'd do that because you didn't exactly tell me to let go of you.

I know that because the last time that you knew that I would get hurt, you actually shed tears for me. ='c

So why?

What has happened after all these days?='c

The dawn of a new day.

Yesterday was really baaaad. Okay, so round one of Powermatch is over. Pero we emerged last. Hahaha. I expected we would after the crappy way to start it off.

Gani, unexpectedly, pulled out as my partner the last minute. I was threatened to debate as one person the whole round adn I thought I was going to die.=c Glenn even encouraged me, saying na: "Okay lang yan. Training din yan." Anu ba yun? Everybody else gets to debate with a partner and I don't. So, I won't have someone to share the humiliation of being awarded with zero points (ranked 4th) at the end of the match. Conicidentally, Jeff wasn't able to find a partner. He said he was hoping we'd be partners kaya lang I told him about Gani. Well, we ended up being partners rin so I guess it was destined. Haha=p Kaya lang nga, he met up with his date before we were given our oral adjudication so it made no difference. Sinalo ko yung humiliation all the same.

Glenn thought our case was good and it was strong. But as we were closing gov, we had the burden to elevate the case but instead ours sounded like a rehash. He said he would've given us credit if we were the opening team.

So yun. Btw, I fuckin' screwed up last Saturday. I should have given accreds a great deal of thought. ***t man. I didn't really think that it was a big deal so I opted not to come. Yan tuloy, I gave up chances of being accredited as a varsity member. Not really asssuming that I would get in though. The ones admitted were pretty good but then I guess it was worth a shot. Malay mo. But now, I won't be able to get accreds until next sem pa. It only happens twice a year. Buti nalang patapos na sem. Oh well. Bawi ako. Swear.

I lack sleep. I slept at around 11:30 last night without realizing what time it was. Hon and I had the chance to talk (finally) about our problem and as usual. It may sound stupid but what happens whenever we fight was what happened. He goes on having to say hurtful stuff intentionally offending me and then I give him a parting speech which sounds more of like a sermon with the usual crying effects. We both know each other very well. But before we knew it, we were back to the good ol' times. Ewan ko. Somehow, what he said stuck to me. How he was feeling out of love and all that, how he was sawa na to our relationship and the problem it entails. Oh c'mon dude. You're not that cruel to tell me that. Unless you're not the guy whom I fell in love with or unless you have suddenly changed your personality in less than one week. There were a lot of discussions made and I did try to understand every single word that he said. The it hit me. Maybe things aren't the way they were before. But then again, who says they aren't? Huh. Labo.

It's typically like that. When we spend less time physically together, that's when fights arise. Issues spring out from nowhere kaya we always end up resolving nothing. Kasi there isn't any problem in the first place. He wanted me to start looking for him less and to trust him in eveything he does. He didn't really assure me of anything but I guess he has grown tired of our routine. Oh? And then? I get what he means by that. A little space bro, that's fine. So practically, I haven't texted him one single message since the day has started.

I don't know whether I should be happy with what we have decided as far as our relationship is concerned. I think I'm thinking too much...

Bahala na. It's just a phase. Sana. Besides, it's been one year and almost 3 months. Ngayon pa ba kami bibigay?

I don't care. I'm forcing myself to stay strong anyway. Plus, I have my whole life ahead of me. I can survive. I will. Pero I hope my fear won't be confirmed. Not now, not soon. I'm not ready to give up yet.

[EDIT] Math LT mode. I happened to meet a few cats on my way to the lib kanina. Reminded me of something.

Naalala ko si Ria. She's not really the feline type of person but then she had this thing with the cats roaming around Ateneo. Whenever we had lunch at the Sec Walk, we'd expect cats lurking beneath the benches. Ria always freaks out. Ayos. Hahaha=p She asked me about the email which she formerly received about the 'removal' of cats in Ateneo. They're gonna be burned daw. Talk about animal rights. Ria even said that even if she disliked cats, it's still unfair if they will be given that sort of injustice. Awwww. Reminds me of siopao. Yikes!!!

Siyempre ako, on the other hand, am a cat lover. Pero siyempre, there's a fine line which runs between stray cats and cats of breed. Nonetheless, my childhood was spent into actually adopting these stray cats and giving them a home.

Oo na. Man's bestfriend is better. Cats are too high maintenance, they're lazy and they like to sleep around and treat themselves as royalty (that practically undermines their purpose of being pets in the first place). But face it, they're too cute not to be adored. Those furry little things which just cuddle on the rug or cuddle around your legs looking for affection. I say amen to cats. You make the world more fun to live in. Meooow.ö

Ultimatum.

I'm blogging using Laine's laptop. Dito kami ng blockmates ko sa caf. She lent her laptop kasi I need to matterload for my Powermatch later. Hmmm. Grabe. As a matter of fact, I'm not feeling well. I'm not in the mood to debate. Lahat nalang.

Acute depression na to.

I can't do this='c

[EDIT] I'm now here in the computer lab. Arrrgh. May sakit si Ma'am Lumbera that' s why our English class is a free cut. So yun. Since last week, I have had a lot of classes which are either free cuts or wala lang kaya I waste time here. Well, not that I have anything else to do. Sige. I'll just splurge in the privilege of having to blog total, all I can do to vent my emotions is write.

I was at the caf kanina. Carly brought up the topic of depression. Kumusta naman yun. She said she had chronic depression and that it ran in her family that's why her dad had to take medicine. Kate also had her share on it. They were discussing stuff like having to take estrogen and hormone stimulants to ease the body and to make you fall asleep and relaxed. Then Kate said something about how smoking had helped her through her pitfalls. I asked Laine, "Laine, are you gonna get mad if I start smoking to appease my burden?" She just looked up from her laptop and said, "Tingin mo?" -- fair enough. Hahaha. Ewan. I wouldn't do that. It's just one of these days that I would want to device a strategy to become a rebel chic (as some people would call it). You know, the one who's fuming with teenage angst and who constantly feels so misunderstood. I actually have a peeves for that kind of people. It astonishes me that I'm suddenly becoming one now.

I don't know. I used to have this one person who usually understands this kind of ranting issues coming from me. No matter how insane my thoughts were, he'd just laugh me off and then I'd realize how ridiculous I am. But now, no one's there to tell me to calm down and think things over.

It's ironic how I strive to keep myself strong in the midst of all the pressing times this event has thrusted upon me. It's not just a fistful of challenges that would be over in a period of time. It's more than that, because I know, in the back of my mind, that whatever happens will determine how I will be in the near future.

I am plannning to subversively control my life right now. Insurgent ba? Hindi. Hahahaha=p Ewan ko. I actually spent time thinking how this 'time apart' situation is going to help us both. Like you know, in the previous trials we've come face to face with. We never ever gave up, so why now? Doubting is just making the feeling and the situation worse. Ayan na nga eh. Namimiss mo na nga yung tao tapos kung anu-ano pa yung iniisip mo. Ano ba Daryll?

But then, I can't help it. It's one thing to loosen my grasp and it's another thing to completely let him go. What if he really does move on? Kasi from what I'm seeing, he's doing fine without me... and that hurts. -- Naisip ko lang, a lot of questions will still remain. But it would be unfair if I question his love for me for the reason that he's moved on already. Hindi naman siguro ganun. But then, I'm worth it, aren't I?='c

Last night I was watching If Only, One Tree Hill and 13 Going On 30. Sorta helped. But then not. I kinda wasted time crying and all that. Anu ba?

Ganito pala kahirap noh? Yet, I still hope and pray that he won't give up on us. I just know it, pero I still want to make sure. It can get really scary when one morning, I wake up and then I realize that he's walked out of my life forever. He has changed my life completely and I'm thankful for that. If God really made us for each other, then I know, love will find a way. Let's just leave it at that. ♥

[EDIT] Still in school and matterload mode. I'm currently reading topics in the net that would prolly come out later in the tournament. Truthfully, I'm tolly getting nervous. As in. Here are some of the things I have managed to fill myself in since this morning:

1. Political killings, a group of farmers filing human rights cases in the UN against the Phil. government
2. Backlash from Muslims' after the Pope's quotation of a fourteenth cen. emperor
3. Bashing on the sensitivity of Islam and that of Christianty (a BBC inquiry)
4. CAP recovery and whether it should be allowed to relase future sales
5. RP seeking relief from EU after the preferential loss of tariff from its tuna trade(?!)
6. Ay nako. Have to read a lot pa.

Nothing new, life is still lame for me.

It's Ateneo's first game in the semis today. I'm keeping myself busy as there really are a lot of things to do. We are in the lead by two points and it is a really tough fight. Christ Tiu is wearing this weird mask because he got his face his during weekeend practice. Awwww=c Okay lang. Kaya yan.ü

Yesterday was uhmmm... at the first part bad but it became better on the latter part. Hon rode with us in the morning and I now regret having to convince him with doing so. My parenst practically scolded him and they brought up the issue... blahblahblah. That's why I'm not surprised that he got mad at me when we arrived at Ateneo.

It was his ACET and as usual, there were a lot of people. Traffic sobra. Nico and I met up because he was just there at the Moro Sports Center, nagygym.

Hon and I said our goodbyes and all that and after a lot of talk and harsh stuff, we agreed on something: we are going to try to make it work. Whew. Finally.

But now he's at Eagle Ridge and I only found out through Ian. I understand why he hasn't texted me. There's usually no signal there, plus he's probably swimming or playing golf. Basta something to keep his mind off all the stuff that's happening. Precisely what I am doing now.

So there. I don't think I want to have driving lessons today. Baka mabunggo lang ako. Next time I guess. Tonight's the audition for the Parish Youth Choir and Carolling group. Ang aga naman. I don't think I'll come. One because I don't think I'll be allowed to, second because I don't think I will have time to slide it in my schedule. Band practices start next week I think.

Bahala na.

Blog hopping. A tour in my bestfriends' blogs. Stealing posts that explain how the four of us are friends.

from:

Ria's blog (soon to be in my links, as well as Maann's and Kara's)
September 15, 2006 in so Sad..

share lang..

Isnt it sad when in our lives,
we have to say goodbye to those we love and care about
for some reasons we can barely explain?
and that no matter how you try to save the good old times,
it wouldnt work...
and the only right thing left to do
is break away and let go....
JUST TO PROVE THEM JUST HOW
MUCH PAIN YOU'RE WILLING TO TAKE...
TO MAKE THEM SO DAMN HAPPY...

GUYS you might wanNa read this
this is an article in becoming a human person............................
TYPICAL THINGS
August 28, 2006 in so Sad...

Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them ...
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying somethingand wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. they are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them, words shrink things that seemed timeless when they were in your head ... to no more than living size when they are brought out...
Dont be afraid to to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart ... but if you don't, you might break theirs ..
Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were ao afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't. You cant tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own ... when you least suspect it, or even when you dont want it.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much ... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.
Have you ever loved someone anf they had absolutely no idea whatsoever? or fell for your bestfriend in the entire world, and then sat around and watched him/her fall for someone else?
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid ...
afraid of what we dont know,
afraid of what others will think,
afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie ... the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have, or could have had.
No one waits forever...

Kara's blog

~nOw..is the tiMe...to foLlow the wiNd...~
_aNd that my frieNds is a line froM the favorite soNg of oUr batch!..c= grbe!..i'm already an alumni of St.pauL!..i shouLd teLL yoU..oUr grad was oNe of THE most amAzing moMents in my life..it was aLso sad though..knOwing that my friends aNd i will be seeiNg leSs of each other..but it's okay..the friendship and the LOVE stays strong no matter how far we are apart!c= Loveyou
gUyz!~24~ mMwAah!
March 26, 2006

Maan's blog

missing out..
..sometimes we think that feeling something is enough..
..we don’t realize that when we don’t take the risk and do something about what we feel..
..the feeling just goes away..
..missing out on what could have been beautiful..
September 01, 2006

..what could have been..
..a love that was never given a chance is like a ghost that will haunt you forever..
..even when you are with someone else..
..it will always find its way to you and with endless thoughts of what could have been..
August 02, 2006

Tagged from Karen.

This is simple.
Just:
1. Emphasize all lines that apply to you.
2. Tag five more people after you finish, complete with links to their sites.
3. Let the person you've tagged KNOW that they've been tagged.

-- can't really tag anyone. Sakin na lang muna.ü

I wish I was a different ethnicity.
I have an eating disorder.
I'm short.
I'm tall. -- I'm somewhere in between these two.
I think I'm really attractive. -- hahaha=p Should I emphasize this one?
I prefer winter over summer.
I'm a geek.
I'm a shopaholic. -- when I have money.
I'm reasonably intelligent. -- hahaha=D
I'm attracted to girls.
I'm attracted to boys.
I like British accents.
I smoke regularly.
I drink regularly.
I smoke socially.
I drink socially.
I get drunk easily.
I do drugs.
I will never date a bad kisser.
I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
I'm religious.
I'm not religious but have morals.
I lie frequently.
I'm impulsive.
I'm hardworking.
I liked "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".
"She's All That" is one of my favourite movies.
I'm good at History.
I speak more than two languages. - foreign lang, here i come!!!=p
I enjoy taking pictures. -- cam whoring is a good way to let time pass by.
I like spending money on myself.
I like spending money on others. -- lalo sa na sa asawa ko.
I have a regular income.
I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
I pay my own bills.
I rely on my parents for money.
I can cook.
I enjoy cleaning.
Tidiness is a must in my life.
I like clutter.
My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
I'm fashion-conscious.
I have good taste.
People tell me I have good taste.
I excel academically.
I'm told I have yet to fulfil my potential.
I'm good at sports.
I'm good at certain sports.
I couldn't do sports to save my life.
I'm creative.
I'm artistically inclined.
I want to be an artist when I grow up.
I want to be an engineer when I grow up.
I eat when I'm upset.
I cannot adapt to change.
I'm interested in politics.
I have shoplifted.
I download MP3s.
I've done underage drinking.
I've gone underage clubbing.
I can dance reasonably well.
I can dance extremely well.
I dance like a cardboard gorilla. -- the hell is that?
I can sing.
I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
I can swim.
I enjoy surveys.
I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
I keep a journal.
My teachers don't like me.
I enjoy controversy.
I can be a bitch/bastard. -- only to some people. =p
I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
I have tattoos.
I've been in a nudist colony.
I'm not sure if I want to have children.
I'm not sure if I'll get married.
I know who I will marry. -- I'm sure you know who you are too.ü
I'm interesting.
I'm a good liar.
People enjoy talking to me. -- ano kaya?
I annoy people from time to time.
I'm a born leader.
I'm a born leader but shouldn't lead.
I enjoy felching.
I have a foot fetish.
I have a shoe fetish.
I watch "Sex and the City".
I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
I want to be J.Lo.
I cut myself.
I've cut myself.
I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
I hate popular people.
I think cheerleading is a sport. -- why not? it has gymnastics.
I'm photogenic.
I live in Chucks.
I think graffiti is art.
I have dated a criminal.
I have been cheated on.
I have cheated on someone.
I have a temper.
I like playgrounds.
I dance in the rain.
I'm obsessed with Shakespeare.
I have tan lines. -- every summer pero mabilis bumalik kulay ko.
My favourite colour is pink.
My favourite colour is black. -- i think they go well together.
I would classify myself as emo.
I'm musically inclined.
I like listening to music.
I like music-blasting cars. -- like niko's.ü
Thongs are comfortable.
I like flip-flops. -- like? i love them!!!
I know what monogamy is...
I want to be a social worker when I grow up.
I have sibling/s.
My sibling/s annoy/s me.
I think "South Park" is funny.
I believe in LOVE. -- ♥♥♥

For all everything's worth, smiling keeps the problem away but ut can never help solve it. Hang-on, we are going to make it.♥♥♥

I'm at the losing end but I want you to know that I'm ready to die fighting.

[EDIT] My second entry for today. I don't know. There is this certain fulfillment that writing gives me and it just compensates for everything I feel right now.

I actually have tons of stuff to do. (think Math homework, English homework, Lit report and Intact hw -- shush. Who does that InTACT anyway?=p) I'm getting ready for it. Don't worry.

I'm currently chatting with Maann. It feels so bad not being able to explain to her what really happened. It's so hard to explain things in YM.

So I went to class today and I'm glad that I have Mau as my friend. He kept on cracking jokes and I was laughing a lot during our Fil class. He even dragged me on the *Sec Walk bridge* before we head onto PE class. He shared a lot of stuff to me about his 'bitter' lovelife. -- I mean the past. Yeahuh. Guys like him have emo sides to. But he's pretty glad that he and the girl broke up. Haha. The part which I do not understand because he didn't really expound on the details.

I also had training. It was good. We had a new teammate who became my instant adviser. Hands down to you, She. Because even if you're already a senior, you listened to a poor freshman's woes. Looking forward to a long lasting friendship given that.

Today is just one of my worsts. Imagine having to go to the bathroom just so I could cry. It's become a necessity to let things out these days.

Ayoko na. But I have to be strong.

A life to deal with.

Sometimes I consider most of my problems as petty ones and that they are all bound to be solved in one way or another. Everytime my problems are done with, I know I have better yet to face the most tragic of all of them. Until now. Because this is the most tragic, most devastating, most excruciating event that could happen in my life with him.

Last night was a pleasant party at Kates' house. I went home right after one round of cardss with Bea, Jecky and Karly. I was so tired and sleepy but I had to finish all the stuff that I needed to so that the hassle of having to stay up will be avoided.

It was pretty much okay. Dane even talked to me for the first time.There were a lot of people and most of my friends were there. Only Rhen and Tonnete were the ones absent. We ate and chatted a lot and I had to go over a blow by blow account of the tragedy that had happened with hon and I.

Surprisingly, he met up with me. I also asked him to do so because I had to give him something important: a letter, his pucca shells and my USB. I wanted him to save the rest of our pictures together for something to remember us by*sniff* and I gave him the pucca shells as a replacement of what he lost with me last summer.

I don't really know where the two of us are heading. It seems as if we're completely lost and are on the verge of giving up.But not me. I give you my word in that. I told him that I would try to be strong for the both of us and that I will wait for him, whatever his decision may be as regards to our relationship. I'm trying to make things smooth, going one step at a time as much as possible because whenever I'm reminded of him I would always want to cry. Laine was even singing songs to me during our lab class. Si Ria naman hanep sa reaction when I told her. All she could say was, 'What? Potah?!' And then I tried to hold back my tears.

I can not help but think of what I would be losing if he gives up on us. There is this part of me which is trying to let go because I would not want to get my heart a thousand times more broken that is already is. But a huge chunk of me just can't help hoping that he'd say that he will fight and after that I know everything will be alright. Perhaps hard and there's practically no easy way out but that is okay as long as we redeem ourselves and fight for our love.

Losing him is like losing everything I have lived for for the past year. Life without him is just nothing.
Losing him is like losing:

*a brother* - People who see us together in person or even in pictures often mistake us as brother and sister. It's always like that because 'we awfully look alike' daw. That's a good thing. A couple who looks alike is destined to be together forever.

*my bestfriend* - time and time again I keep on telling him that if we haven't endde up as lovers, we might be very very good friends because we share lot of things in common: likes for music, food, recreational stuff, sports and all that. But then we have agreed on the fact that even if we are just friends in the beginning or in the latter part of our relationship, we are still bound to fall in love again. I don't know. God just made us meet to fall in love with each other. And thus spend the rest of our lives together.

*my partner in crime* - inasmuch as I have done every little misdeed in my life with the help of my friends, iba pa rin talaga pag siya yung kasama kong gumawa ng kalokohan. May it be just fooling around, overeating things, making takas and all that... I would definitely miss the fun, excitement the times I have spent being in trouble with this guy. =c

*my life mentor* - before there was Raffy in Daryll's life, there was an overfatigued and overstressed girl who always had to rub her nose raw with all the hard work she had to do. She knew and had the least time to have fun and this is what he had taught this workaholic: Life is too fun to miss out on and you can still excel in your chosen field without wearing yourself out. Just know when to lay back and relax and when you feel that you have rested enough, you can go back to work. Nothing can relieve stress than being in the company of your friends and family. Don't worry on a lof of things and always wear your best smile.
He had also taught me how to talk things out whenever there is a problem between us, to let my feelings out and not to be afraid of expressing them.

*my inspiration* - no matter how hard life came to be especially with the different phases I constantly go through, he was always there for me. He would always give me a hug or a peck on the cheek whenever I felt sad, moody or stressed. He would always encourage me to follow what my heart tells me when it comes to my career. He would always advise me to forego whatever I think is best for me. He would always support me in every decision that I make and he would always be there to remind me of how he really loves me no matter what happens. Needless to say, he has helped me grow and he has brought out the best in me.Thank you hon=c

*my life and my love* - before I met him, I was just a girl, not-so-typical yet not so special. There always seemed to be something missing. He filled that emptiness by showing how he cares, how special I am and how he has loved me all this time. Before, I would only live for myself. But upon realizing how much impact I have made in his life inasmuch as he had made on mine, I found my partner whom I wanted to share my life with. The person whom I will forever give my heart to. He is the reason behind my tears and my smile, the reason for my breathing. It is because of him that I have drawn myself closer to God and have learned to thank Him for all the wonderful things and people that he has blessed me with.

Yes, it may be hard to move on and on the other hand pursue our relationship. Both have no easy way out. Yet either way, I am willing to accept what God wants me to have. I am ready to fight because I know God wants me to have him.♥♥♥

- Rizal Library
Matteo Ricci Study Hall
AdMU
1:15 p.m.
September 14, 2006

Five stages of depression/grief. :'c

Remember when I said that I love my life? Well, forget about that because now I don't. I'm slowly beginning to crumble into little pieces that in no time at all, I don't what will be left of me.

Suddenly I realize that our fate is in our hands. Together we shall surpass this, hold onto the chance that God has given us, in the hope that our love will rise above all.

I used to say that 'take anything away from me except the people whom I love and this one person.' Now, I'm still in the process of thinking on how to recover, moreover, maintain the already on the brink love that we have for each other. Because against odd and ends, I am ready to fight for what we have, knowing that in the end, nothing else will matter but our good intention of being together the rest of our lives. No one can decide our fate for us.

I slaughtered myself last night by crying for two full hours. [Imagine how mosntrous I look now]

I don't know what else there is to write about because giving an account of what happened wouldn't in any way help. Besides, I'll save that for my friends.

The stages of depression:

1. Denial
- It is hard for us to give up on what we have. For a person of 17 years of age and who has gone through half of her life looking for that some-thing or rather, some-one to fulfill her given that she had everything she wanted was much of an achievement. Pursuing who she found and staying with that person for 2% of her life was worth every dream she had managed to attain. Living her life excelling in everything in the arms of that person was more than she had asked for and she has been grateful for that. Happiness was an understatement of how she lived her life with him. Now, taking that love away is enough for her to consider risking everything even at the expense of her life just to fight for what they have. For they have planned and visualized their future together...
- Life is just not worth living if you're living it alone. And one cannot simply live her life if it has been taken away from her.

2. Anger
- What completely amazes me is the fact that all the years of being together were to be shattered all in one night. It went by so fast that when I woke up this morning, it took my 2 seconds to realize what had happened; wishing and praying that it were a dream. But then, I couldn't do anything about it; I felt helpless. I could only promise myself to go on while we haven't made plans yet, with the disposition to prove those people wrong. And because by chance, I don't really have any choice, I wouldn't really know how to fill the longing of being with him.=c
- I do not, by any means, have a grudge against anyone. Maybe against the people who just wouldn't understand how he means to me. Coercing me to let all things be is a thing that I could least do, next to trying to stop my overrated tears. They can say whatever they want, they can say that I'm too young to understand things, that I will still meet a lot of people who will work out for me. But you don't say that to a person whose heart has just got broken, whose dreams have just been shattered, whose life has just been lost and whose hope has just been gone because she will never ever understand. You will never understand how I feel. Give us a chance to realize what we did and if it is worth stopping our love with. The reason why we just don't mind everything else is that we really love one another.

3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

- I just have to finish this soon.

Life is a party.♥♥♥

Imagine me acquiring pneumonia in the next few days. The heat wave's up to the extremes these days and insamuch as I try to keep away from it, having no airconditioned room sin Ateneo is gonna make my health suffer worse.

But then again, I'm kinda glad with my life right now. It's a bit hectic and it has a lot of add-ons compared to the previous months and weeks. From my simple trainings in vball and debate, I have a tune-up game this Thursday and an upcoming tournament in ADS next week. Not to mention, these two weeks, I have like three long tests: Pinoy, Physics and Math. Oh crap. Alongside with that, a huge pile of work was just heaved onto my shoulder. Ampness. Every subject has like a requirement to be submitted. Hell yeah. Hell weeks.

It's also Kates' debut party tomorrow and I'm one of the 18 symbolic gifts. I think I may have to resort to hon's plan of eat-and-run because I have my physics LT the next day.

Oooh. But then again, I'm still loving it.♥♥♥ Gotta go.

Outdoing yourself.

There are a lot of times when I deem to challenge myself because I refuse mediocrity and anything which make me just an underdog. But sometimes, I just find myself trying too hard and pushing myself beyond my extremes that in the end, I get too stressed out and frustrated.

Before I got in to the Ateneo, I was no ordinary it-girl. Sure, I was a student leader...etc. and all that, but then again I just had to forget that I'm about to be placed in the melting pot of bests in the whole country.

There goes the life that I lived.

Upon realizing that I should never content myself in doing things without the slightest trace of hardwork, I sure am up for the battle for wits and excellence. I will rise above all my shortcomings and prove that I'm worth every damn shot; to make my guy proud, my friends and my parents as well. But not solely for that. It is for me.

These things? Gibberish.♥♥♥

I hate you on Sundays...=c

Sundays make me frustrated at the least.

I slept late last night because I was really tired from the party. I wasn't able to make it to Ka-te's debut because I was stranded here. The rain was pouring like mad. Lanz and I even had to cook for bro because there were a lot of people who followed after us. So we ate cake and sushi and some softdrinks. Lanz and I had to show off our cooking powers for the guests so we cooked pasta -- which tasted like Menudo. Hahaha=D

Today was so cool for the following reasons.

1. The UAAP Cheerdance Competition - a big success. I didn't get to watch live this year (like last year because I had to take my ACET on the exact date of the competition) but then Achi and Crunch went over here to watch with me. It was so cool. We were like really making a big fuss over it. Big bets were on UP and UE because they both did great.ü Achi actually doubted if UST will still claim the title as champion this year because she thought the performance was too plain and simple. Well you know, Crunch was actually surprised with what the Blue Babble Battalion was able to pull off and according to her, it might make a win this year. After all the performances, the announcement of winners came. Ack. UST still won and then FEU and then UP. Well you know. I don't really wanna say anything. Just congratulations and cheers. You make your schools proud.

2.My driving career exposed to public. - For the past few driving lessons that I have had with my dad, I was driving towards the downward street. (Ganun?) Basta. But this afternoon until 6:30 p.m., I was like facing the entire world. A lot of people and my friends from the subdivision saw me struggle as I drove the car back and forth. At least I was able to make improvements but I have yet to learn how to make a turn around a corner. Haaay. I got really sweaty, anxious and shaky.

3. The dinner with my parents - Yesterday was a series of unfortunate events however, we were all able to get a grip. Dinner went well, with the normal discussions that I make with my mom and dad. There was even this one thing which we were laughing about, the expired chocolate. I found it in the fridge and I have been seeing it since Christmas (last Christmas) and I figured it was a gift. But then I was surprised that no one attempted to eat it so I asked my parents why it was always left untouched. I looked at the date of exporation and it said there: 02-2005 to 02-2006. That can't be right. It's been 7 months expired. hahaha=p Sayang naman. Knowing my parents, they denied the fact that it's panis or sira na so we took one each, with the caution na we might die if we ate it all. In fairness to the chocolate, it tasted good. It's something in between Ferrero and Cadbury.♥

4.The ipis hunting time - My dad was like spraying stuff on the roof because there were a lof of roaches flying about, I'm guessing that it's the signal for rains to come.

5. Hon and I are yet to talk I don't really know where he is now, if he's gone home or what. I was just texting him about this thing on him having to deactivate his fone whenever I try to 'bug' him. Basta, something offensive at that. I went on to complain and told him that I got hurt when I found out about that tactic ergo, he said sorry naman. So there.

Gotta finish a lot of stuff.♥♥♥

I'm lovin' it again♥♥♥

Partyyy gone mad.

It's a pretty gloomy Saturday afternoon. I guess that's how I felt until my parents talked to me. Well, okay. The details.

Yesterday was the most awaited birthday of my closest guy friend. He texted as early as 10 am to tell that there's this party at his house at dinner time onwards. Of course, I was so psyched at the thought of finally seeing my friends again (I only see some of them during Saturdays when we have choir). And so, I was really having a good day. Laine was back from her 4-day golf tournament although she brought the bad news that they were just third after La Salle and uh... School of Tomorrow. (Wtf?! - Niko [followed by the sarcastic reaction]) And yeah... What's that? According to Laine, it's home school so the students there have more time to practice golf because they only have school for twice a week. Okay. That just sucks for the AdMU Golf Varsity. Hahaha.ü Pero okay lang. I bet they had loads of fun.

So there... I went to class and had the usual fun. After our math class, we went to The Ateneo Art Gallery and it was so cool there. You know, I get really amused with morbid and weird stuff. The art works there were pretty much like that.

InTACT class was very fun. We had our role play presentations and we were all really funny. he best part was the awarding of the best actor and best actress. Mico won the best actor for playing the part of impeachment in their groups' role play. Cam, on the other hand, won the best actress for their portrayal of the Lebanon-Israel war.=p She was so good in crying. The ones given awards were handed trophies. Wah. Big time.ü

And then, I had training afterwards. I was soooo in the mood ot have training that's hwy it was kinda unusual. But even if I was so up and giddy to debate, we still lost. And hirap kasi nung motion ni Miko: THBT Systemic harrassment is a legitimate form of lobbying. Amp.

Anyway... after that I was sooo ready to head onto Ian's place to partyyyy but then my dad didn't allow me kasi it was late na daw... So yun...

Fast forward to now...

I'm going to have a good night tonight. I can feel it.♥♥♥

Partyyy gone mad.

It's a pretty gloomy Saturday afternoon. I guess that's how I felt until my parents talked to me. Well, okay. The details.

Yesterday was the most awaited birthday of my closest guy friend. He texted as early as 10 am to tell that there's this party at his house at dinner time onwards. Of course, I was so psyched at the thought of finally seeing my friends again (I only see some of them during Saturdays when we have choir). And so, I was really having a good day. Laine was back from her 4-day golf tournament although she brought the bad news that they were just third after La Salle and uh... School of Tomorrow. (Wtf?! - Niko [followed by the sarcastic reaction]) And yeah... What's that? According to Laine, it's home school so the students there have more time to practice golf because they only have school for twice a week. Okay. That just sucks for the AdMU Golf Varsity. Hahaha.ü Pero okay lang. I bet they had loads of fun.

So there... I went to class and had the usual fun. After our math class, we went to The Ateneo Art Gallery and it was so cool there. You know, I get really amused with morbid and weird stuff. The art works there were pretty much like that.

InTACT class was very fun. We had our role play presentations and we were all really funny. he best part was the awarding of the best actor and best actress. Mico won the best actor for playing the part of impeachment in their groups' role play. Cam, on the other hand, won the best actress for their portrayal of the Lebanon-Israel war.=p She was so good in crying. The ones given awards were handed trophies. Wah. Big time.ü

And then, I had training afterwards. I was soooo in the mood ot have training that's hwy it was kinda unusual. But even if I was so up and giddy to debate, we still lost. And hirap kasi nung motion ni Miko: THBT Systemic harrassment is a legitimate form of lobbying. Amp.

Anyway... after that I was sooo ready to head onto Ian's place to partyyyy but then my dad didn't allow me kasi it was late na daw... So yun...

Fast forward to now...

I'm going to have a good night tonight. I can feel it.♥♥♥

Stressed out.

Why? I keep asking myself why??????? I kept on asking Tim why.

The deadline for the paper has been moved to Monday. Amp.

Devastated.

My ESP never ever fails me.

I woke up today with the worst feeling that I'm going to have a bad day without really surmising why. You know the feeling when everything just starts going wrong and then it just keeps on flooding and everything? Well, that is what's happening to me right now. I guess I have to really allow a maximu tolerance on this one.

I thought I was just having a bad hair day and that I was really pissed at the fact that I'm running out of clothes to wear. Moreover, I thought I was just stressed out due to my lack of sleep last night. And then, my dad just got on my nerves because he inisited on picking me up. Partially my fault because I actually told him that I'll be going out today at 3 pm although I wasn't really sure. In addition to that, I haven't really decided on the things I should do (my paper, what time to go home...etc.) Plus, he hasn't talked to me since last night. I need him badly. Now.

Therefore, I'm like really depressed right now. I just opened my mail and the dreaded email from Mvation Host Hunt was there. La Ferriols and Nicky Mendoza were the ones who won the Hunt. Good job.ü I mean that in a sincere way. I'm just you know, depressed... Because at one point, it signaled the end of my dj-ing career... unless I actually try to join one again or if I send a demo tape directly to RX. I guess God has other plans for me. I don't really know what... I'm too congested with thoughts to think right now.

What's more frustrating is my sched come sembreak. It's like barely 1 month and 3 weeks before it and a lot of people are already making plans for it. A big break. But then... not.

There's been an overlapping of birthday parties left and right. Jackie's debut, Hon's 18th and Laine's debut too.

Oh well.

Till here. ♥

[EDIT] I'm currently in a conference with my 'Virgin" groupmates for our Lit paper. Kinacareer na namin ang paper in all fairness. So this afternoon was sorta weird. Hon and I fought because of the naked ladies in his phone. Sino bang gf ang hindi mag-hyhysterical dun?

Hahahahaü Enough. I'm gonna do my paper.

Heeey. Finally!!! I have my ATM already.♥♥♥

A tempest most serene.

The day ended how it started. Typical, mundane.

*I got to enjoy the company of two of my good gal pals today: Ria and Rica. I just realized the coincidence in their names. Goody.

*I'm beginning to feel guilty on not being able to attend Ka-te's debut this Saturday. Goodness. I'm really clueless on my plans this weekend. Rampage.

I just have to focus on the paper in Lit first and then decide after that.

*Bhi and I have bleak palns for bro's birthday. We are both in distress right now.

*I'm a little problematic with hon's condition. He's been diagnosed with asthma. *sigh*

Oh well. I guess I just have to call it a day. Not in the mood to share everything. ♥

As Mau would put it, papers bring joy. Yeah right.=D

[Mood] Super ecstatic yet pissed at the heat wave.
Currently listening to: Come to me - P. Diddy feat. Nicole Scherzinger

Yeah. So last night was a series of pleasant events. Last night, operatively meaning that the later part of the day. I tolly regret having to go to the final screening for the Mvation Host Hunt. Well first because DJ Jose (which was soooooo hot btw) was there and that I was going up against the Orsem Hosts. Professional hosts and the other seniors as well. Only two of us were freshmen and yeah... it was pretty much a hassle.

But then again, I suppose it was worth a shot.

So here I am, doing my paper with my ever so energetic mood. But it's beginning to get drained because of the heat wave. I'm gonna say this again. I wish I had a laptop so that I can work on my papers in my room. At least dun, aircon pa.

Gotta go.♥♥♥

[EDIT] I friggin' hate Sundays. For some reason, I haven't really managed to finish and proofread my paper in English. Yeah. I did some side stuff, including making my homemade salsa dip with cornchips. It was a major disaster but well... I had np other choice but to eat it. And then I went on driving. Boy, was my father fuming mad... I already forgot the basics of driving. It was really long ago since my first driving lesson.

I'm really pissed at him. It's like there's this imposed rule that he won't ever talk to me on Sundays. Not a call, not even a reply to my texts. Okay. So why bother? Then he says sorry come Monday. Yeah. I get it. I won't talk to you. ever I hate this. Why does he have to do this? Argh. Enough with the ranting issues.

So now, I'm going to rock on doing my English paper. Yeah.

♥♥♥

Hubaduba-doo.

Wala lang. Ria and I are here at the comp. lab to pass the time before we go to bellarmine for our least favorite class: InTACT. Isang malaking imbentang non-credit course sa Ateneo na required for freshmen na kapag nag-overcut ka you get a hold order at the end of the year. In high school, it's homeroom class.

Oh anyway. I still haven't finished my spiel for my audition. haha=p Good luck sa kin mamaya. anyway...

It's the weekend and I'm plagued with papers left and right.=s

[EDIT] I'm here at home contemplating right now. I got in the Mvation Host Hunt final screening. OMG.


I have to do stuff because I still have my auds tomorrow and YB stuff.=p Toodles♥♥♥