Birthday wish.

In an hour, I will be turning 22. What to make of this day, I'm not exactly sure. Turns out that my month-long celebration has transitioned from steady-ready phase to a big nightmare overnight. But I know this is just how God surprises me in different ways so I have to toughen up and take this as my first challenge as a 22-year old. 

I only want three things for this year (well aside from my material 'needs'):

1. Clarity and steadfastness. 

Have I mentioned how difficult it is when you're surrounded by people who a) constantly complain about their work, b) are very backward, traditional and mediocre with their approach to work and c) who brand you as idealistic just because you lay out insights about giving the company an extra big push? Well it can crack you up at some point just because finding the motivation to keep doing what you do everyday is hard enough, what more when you get stuck in this kind of system. Don't get me wrong, I love my work (or some big chunks of it) but I don't get how these external factors can help me decide if my work is something that keeps me fulfilled or not. If it's something that will eventually lead me to my end goal or not. If it's something that I should settle for or not. If this is a stepping stone to a bigger adventure or not. 

I need to put my foot down. I need to speak to an unbiased professional mentor who can provide me with noteworthy and valuable insights. I tried speaking to my colleagues and not only did I put myself on autopilot mode midway through their senseless, idiotic, self-proclaimed mediocrity of a lecture, I also can't get over how they treated me as 'young, inexperienced, idealistic.' That's just plain wrong. 

I don't need to be your age, experienced and up the ranks, to know what I really want and what I'm not settling for. Please take note of that. 

Because really. I'm tired of seeing people leave just because they're dissatisfied with something which they can remedy with their personal habits in the first place. You don't complain about your basic salary just because you don't have enough money 2 weeks after payday and blame the lack of compensation. Maybe you should stop going to the casino or doing odds so you have money to spare for work or for your basic luhos? Or maybe you can't complain about having to go to work early just because you get so used to being homebased? 

Is it in the nature of work or is it the fact that people can't discipline themselves? 

Anyway. I'll spare this for another entry. 

The deeper reality is this. For the coming months, we are going to be affected by the tragedy in Japan. The external factors, I can resist. But if the management level fails to have me as a regular employee in the coming months, then I have to reevaluate my stay. It's going to be difficult to close sales if we can't issue stocks or have installations because there will be no available units. And no, we are not closing down. We have been asked not to share the details or to stay neutral if any media entity approaches us. But I assure you that the management will do everything that it can to keep the business running. 

As for my personal decisions, I still have to think. Because it's been 6 months and I haven't achieved my first short-term goal. Yet, I don't want to leave the company without accomplishing something. 

2. A birthday cake.

Mango Bravo from Conti's seems such a good treat right now ♡ 

A warm cup of coffee to go with this also sounds good :)

3. A rejuvenated drive to work. 

I hope I finish addressing all of my post-sales problems and focus on developing new accounts. Because really. I was quite appalled at myself for shutting down and just washing my hands off of them after getting tired. I now bear the consequences of letting them prolong, so I have to end them quickly as soon as possible. I was really not the type to let things go out of control in the first place. 

4. PAHABOL:

I also want to have a better sense of financial responsibility now that I am a year older. I have to save up for my new business' capital (soon to come *wink*) and for trips and eventually for my Master's degree. I won't be able to do that if I incessantly succumb to impulsive buying and if I can't pay for simple bills and debts. *SIGH*

Nonetheless, I hope tomorrow turns out well. 

Hello there,

On Letting Go, Losing Weight, Etc.

Long delayed post. I had this idea running in time for an Ash Wednesday post but hello me. I'm still trying to adjust in religiously updating this blog. *Pat on the back* for managing to keep it consistent (for the meantime). Haha :) 

March means one thing. No, scratch that. It means a ton of things. For people in general it means: summer, end of school, spring break, a whole new month to target (awww life in sales) and the chunk of the Lenten season. 

For me it means I get a year older. Yipee ♥ ♡ ♥ This year as I hit the big 2-2 (I feel so freakin' old demmit) I have a bunch of things in my mind and a dozen couple of lists to make. Mostly out of inspiration since it's a fresh new year and things have been on track by far so why not take them a notch higher, make things more interesting and fun? And well some, I have to admit, I should've done ages ago but keep finding reasons not to, thus they are already non-negotiables in the list. 

This month, in attempt to help myself shed the weight I have drastically gained over my pill-popping addiction (no, seriously it was for my hormonal imbalance thing), I added meaning to my 'diet plan' by giving up my one and only love as my Lenten sacrifice...

Rice. 

Garlic rice to be exact. Well actually, the variations of rice don't really matter to me. As long as it's rice, I can gobble it up even without ulam. Hahaha :) I don't need to give up pork or beef since I unconsciously select chicken in most meals and entrees that I eat anyway. Plus I can't live without veggies and fruits. If I'm going to rate myself on the RDA nutrition and diet plan I can score an 8 (since bf gets me eating fastfood things) but I just really overdose on the carbs. I'm also cutting down on the junk (ever since I learned how to eat them again thanks to my unhealthy conscious officemates) and the sweets but I'm failing miserably at the latter. I tried not downing coffee in my morning routine but it wouldn't get me through half the day. So instead, I'm trading an extra half cup on the safe caffeine intake for a bottle of energy drink (i.e. Cobra Smart/Sting Strawberry) since it gave me hyperacidity for 3 consecutive days. 

I couldn't think of what else to give up since it's already difficult as it is. I've been trying this for the past couple of years but nothing seems to do the trick. I was thankful enough to have the trusty Diet Dojo in SOM Mall when I was a junior in Ateneo. I was able to eat salad for lunch for a couple of months (I miss their steak and potatoes combo and chicken with citrus vinaigrette :|) so despite my ex bringing me Starbucks and banoffee pie (our sweet craving back then) on a regular basis, I was comparatively skinnier way back then. 

I super miss those days. 

I've set my goal and have laid a strong foundation to achieve it. Jogging on weekends, no rice and... get this: a gym membership for my birthday. I was strolling through Megamall today (after field work of course, HAHA) and I saw the Slimmers World booth. I was lured into an enticing sales pitch right away. At first I thought it was hard sell because the consultant was showing me pictures of 'satisfied customers' and their before and after poses. But when he got to the package part, I was just stunned with a this-is-too-good-to-be-true mocking expression on my face. 

Their current promo entitles an applicant to an all inclusive fee of a buy 1 take 1 gym spree. So 1 month plus 1 month, 3 months take 3 and so on. The 6 month-offer was the best choice since it extends to a year's worth of membership for only... Php 9,600 (0% interest if credit card) and Php 8400 for cash (well I know where they recovered the cost anyway). This already includes unlimited gym time - use of equipment, training program with instructors on the 1st 2 days, locker use, AEROBICS classes - power yoga, yogalites and all those cool workout stuff which I'm really after - plus the consultant even threw in a Php 4500 GC worth of treatment if I bring a friend along (that's diamond peel and a Swedish massage hellyeah) and a free gym bag. I don't know if this is just me but Slimmers World is a very reputable fitness center so I say it's worth the deal. Hahaha. The only problem is where to source my funds for this seeing that I have been splurging on summer items, accessories, weekend beach trips and I have pending expenses like: gadgets, a Cebu trip, corporate clothes, hair re-perming and field shoes in my list. 

*SIGH* 

But anyway. I'm already sleepy and I need to rest for another packed day tomorrow. Will continue this when I have time. Up next: birthday stuff, business plans and long lists! Ciao! 

Refresher.

It's so sad to trace and evaluate the beginning of my blog's neglect the moment I stepped into my Junior year in college and the lengths that it has stretched to now that I am now officially a career woman. It's been 3 years and I can't believe that the blogger kid has finally outgrown the impulse to document her life with sometimes-shallow-but-can-eventually-have-depth journal entries in her blog. And it sucks, really since I feel that a lot of my life's meaning pays tribute to these blog entries because it's only through them that I get to hear myself think out loud, reflect back, squeeze myself of opinion and really ponder on the things that transpire in my life. 

So a glimpse at the the not so recent entry (2 months back) that I attempted to write but predictably failed to finish: 

[January 11, 2011]

A new year, a fresh start. 

My mind fails me as I try to summon the right words and describe the latter parts of my 2010. Exaggeratedly dramatic? A wild rollercoaster ride? A series of unfortunate events? And I could just put n numbers of cliches here. Let's leave that to the testimonies of my friends (and/or shock absorbers at the time). It was just... plain CRAZY. 

Let's not be cryptic here. I'll actually share some specifics. (You are my bestfriend after all, I have long abandoned you so you deserve the gory details) First, I had a bit of trouble with my parents. You know the usual crisis that strikes almost-to-none parenthood when your parents realize that they have nothing else to teach you but to be a responsible adult? And that they have no other role but to let you make your own choice, learn from mistakes and consequences; like mere spectators who can just cheer for you whenever you need support and encouragement? That because you are now trying to make a living for yourself, they cannot really ground you (or they can and immediately say that you still live under their roof blahblahblah) and they don't have any sort of power over you so they struggle to keep that hold through other means like unreasonably holding you in house arrest for charges of simple things that blow over... 

[So of course I forgot the whole point of this entry anyway and will just leave it at that and try to continue the last trail of thought to come up with this fresh new entry :)]

It's March 2011 and in a few weeks I'll be turning 22. I can vividly remember this month a year ago, when almost all the hallmarks of my life took place starting from my last week in school, to my last finals week, to my graduation, to me turning 21, to ending a lot of things and consequently starting a whole lot more. But that was so last year and after a much needed break (that lasted about 4 months) before finally joining the corporate world, I now have a much improved life: a new set of priorities, a better sense of direction, a more fast paced and flexible lifestyle and more issues to conquer. 

With that, this year so far has been an overhaul of sorts. I've been living my life quite at ease since the year kicked in and needless to say, I've been having a really really really great time. Yes, it was so alien to me for the first couple of weeks since I was used to carrying such a huge weight on my shoulders brought about by a large number of external and internal factors in my life. I transitioned from my dark ages in the last quarter of 2010: breaking up with my bf, adjusting with the demands of work, getting in trouble with my parents, undergoing depression, being out of the loop with friends, etc. I decided that I needed to get back up and pick the pieces so on the remaining weeks of that year, I forced myself to rehab: getting my hair permed, going shopping and whatnot (basically all kinds of therapy) and then keeping myself distracted with highly achievable ambitions with short-term goals to long-term goals. I have to say that the rate of accomplishment beginning this year has been quite a surprise. 

The first month of this year was dedicated to finally letting go of all the pain and hurt that was handed to me by the last bits of 2010. It was the window of opportunity to start things anew, to improve, to raise expectations, to feel free and to focus on what's ahead. I must say that I did a pretty good job. I regained a much better (which I am very proud to say is an understatement) relationship with Ojie, I also placed myself in a more promising position at work and I have all the luxury and time to do things for myself: shop and go crazy and even be all over the country on weekends with my family and friends. Of course I have yet to do everything on my to-do list as my time and energy haven't really leveled up and permit me to be Wonder Woman. Despite all these too-good-to-be-true-but-indeed-happening events are the tinges of stress and work, the need to satisfy other people (aka clients, bosses and parents sometimes the bf), priorities and financial management. Thank God I'm in sales. At least I know that everyday is an advanced lesson in multitasking. As the pile of work builds up, I get better at answering emails on one hand, taking calls on the other, processing documents on another, and managing accounts on another. But wait, I only have two hands. HAHA. 

So to give you highlights more briefly, here is a bulleted list of what happened in the first 3 months of 2011 :) 

1. Meet my new baby ♥ 

I got this as a Christmas present for myself since my older camera's lens said goodbye for the 2nd time and I can't really bring it to work ever anyway. Haha. It's the Canon Powershot SX210 one of the hippest and cutest in the line of Canon's Prosumer series. When you say prosumer, it means that it's the borderline between a point and shoot and an SLR. You have a mix of both features but you are given the freedom to explore on more advanced options similar to what DSLR's can give you. Adjustments on aperture, shutter speed and the like are available for you to tinker while you retain the auto settings that deliver your quality snapshots with ease. I chose this precisely because in the series, it looks like such a cutie point and shoot but is as feisty as an entry-level SLR. Unlike the Powershot G12 and Powershot SX130 which almost look like their compact DSLR's. And, HAHA, I haven't really tried learning all the features that it has. That'll be in my to-do list soon. :) 

2. I also got myself new phones. WHY? 

No, I am not a materialistic brat. I can still control (to some extent) my spending habits. But of course this one, I just had to. Please refer to my note in fb for the details. Of course these were, crucial decisions that I had to make because of obvious reasons. I could've saved the money for other shopping items like replenishing my corporate wardrobe instead of spending moolah on these babies. 

The logic of course for both is 1) I really wanted to get a BB 2) I don't want them to get stolen again so I had to carefully pick out a decent field phone 3) I also wanted to retain my touch-qwerty phone combo hence the choices :) Plus the specs are nice too. 

Because of the above entry, I also had to replace my wallet with another one but whatever that's not even important because it's another financial burden. I can hear my wallet pumping up its fists as I type. Heehee. 

3. Kick-off Mania :) 

Last Jan 26 in the middle of an intensely busy month (since most companies' funds are now open and thus ready for shelling out once again) we had our kick off at Dusit, Thani. It was pretty fun despite the side comments from long-time employees. I think they were used to having outdoor trips with GDs and activities for their kick off with the former president, RGA. Now since Allan Chng is trying to stir the company to a more MNC direction, we're trying to emulate patterns of a more formal upbringing as a company, which is better I think. The food was to die for (but of course I had to hold it in) and we made sure to consume as many coffee and tea cups as we could the whole afternoon. The band was also way better than the one we had in our Christmas party in Marriott. There was a shortage of booze towards the end and a lot of people were trying to scavenge leftover beers on tables. But it was super fun and everybody went home happy, inspired and hopeful for the year :)

4. Weekends are for rendezvous ♡

I've been trying to do my best in keeping up with a rollercoaster life - one whole work week of stress and a handful of paradise on weekends then snap back to reality once again. It's a great perk to be surrounded by fellow yuppies who have been indulging themselves in travel and finding extra time to get out of the work routine to have a little adventure. For us the rut can drain all of our pent up energy so it's always a good feeling to look forward to something as a reward for all the OT's and stressful deadlines. I began this year with a random getaway with Ojie's gang to a daytrip to Laiya which was so fun and relaxing. A week after, we booked ourselves a flight to Cebu in June and the girls' impromptu plan became an instant couples' escapade. Just recently I finally tried surfing with my SOM loves in La Union to celebrate Drew's victory as Sanggu president (and well it was also a long overdue plan anyway). Pictures below. 

Paradise ♥ 

These, coupled with barbeques, random pig out dinners (we had this in Racks), inuman fests and reunions just reinstate me to my sanity and happy bubble all the time. This is such a must-have :) 

5. Career life 

For 2011, Philippines will win again! :) 

I've been upping my level as a Sales Consultant since the year zoomed by - handling a million-peso deal account, presenting to Board of Directors, being groomed as a MAG consultant and the next Philippine delegate to the Asian Demo Challenge. It's quite a handful if you ask me and as time goes by, my coverage for my area has drastically decreased. I've been stuck in the office for weeks now doing double OT's, polishing presentations and attending to post sales matters. Which is kinda bad. I haven't really reached my full target (highest is 94%) so I'm pressing myself down to double up my game. But I'm very proud that even the bosses have started seeing my potential and have even considered me for more upscale projects. I just have to continue with this and exert extra effort so that I emerge as a more successful yuppie this year, climb the ranks and avail more opportunities. 

6. SHOPPING > FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT, NOT. 

I've been enjoying a lot of great deals lately (when I discovered the wonders of ebay and sulit.ph) with some stuff like swimsuits, wallets, clothes and other items. Once you get trusted sellers, it's always a good bargain to get low prices with less fuss. I've always been a mall rat and there's still no other experience like shopping in a mall but sometimes when you don't have time or when you don't have money when you're in a mall, goodies can be bagged with just a click of a mouse through these online portals. The issue here is that it almost works like a credit card. You get to spend money that you don't need to dole out right away since you have to deposit it in a bank days after you reserve the item. When you rummage through your wallet to account for all the things that you have to pay for, you then realize that you've committed to buying stuff more than how much you have. 

Which is the same case as mine. (I can even post pictures of all courier packages I've opened) Hahaha. I really have to control my spending habits. I have to save up for trips, invest in clothes and whatnot so I have to control the voluntary click of my muscle when it just seems to give in to good finds in online stores. 

7. TIME 

I hope I still have more time to do all of the other things that I want to: cook, push through with my business, eventually start my masters degree plan, my NGO commitments, join a Toastmasters club (chapter nearest me) and write for advocacy magazines. I've reassessed myself when it came to these bottom tier priorities and I really cannot squeeze in any extra time since it's already insufficient for now. So I guess I just have to stick to losing weight  and finishing my home-based projects on weekends for the meantime :) 

That's about it. I promise promise promise to update when I have the chance. I've been browsing through blogs and I kept asking myself what the hell am I doing with my life because it almost feels nothing. But after reading this post, I really am having a great time with everything. I just needed to pause, breathe and be grateful for everything that has happened. Thanks 2011! ♥ ♡ ♥