Long Time.

It's been soooo long since I updated this journal. Before, I couldn't go a day or two without writing something down, actually pausing from all the hustle and bustle of my lifestyle and just you know, saving something for myself to look back on.

Not that I've made my choice willingly. I really had to forego a lot of things that were non-negotiables in my former lifestyle (hence, putting them on hiatus) so I could squeeze in some extra time to keep myself sane and in one piece as I juggle all the things I do. I had to give up sleep, blogging, religious updates on social networking sites (a gazillion pictures stashed away in my external hard drive) and keeping myself in the know of the latest episodes of teen soaps.

Despite all of this, I don't regret having to drastically shift from by part-time bummer, full time workaholic occupation since I have more important things that I vent my energy on. My boy toy, Sanggu, acads, competitions-career-involvement-crap and an actual business just to name a few. I'm still the normal tweenager so I have my social life and family obligations to do on the side.

Aside from these reasonable excuses, I tend to cringe on the ugliness of this blog's banner picture whenever I see it. Now that I have actually upped my Photoshop skills by at least 3 notches high, I couldn't imagine myself years back using paint to come up with such an ugly... thing. Haha. So every time I make an attempt to write, I just lose the motivation because the aesthetics of this blog is too much of a failure for me. But oh well. I've never had the time to execute the wonderful banner picture that I have in mind so I can't complain.

Moving on... I wrote because I don't have any other outlet to let this out on. Everything just seems to be falling apart at this moment. And I don't want to go out and rant to a friend because I have proven myself to be intensely sensitive to side comments and judgments no matter how constructive they are. Not now. So... there.

I don't want to delve into specifics and deets. Just put emphasis on the feeling of pain, betrayal, confusion... Now really. How much can you bottle up in half a week without crashing? The worst thing is not having the only person who you trust beside you. Because he's a big chunk of that bandwagon who caused you so much pain.

It's been so long since I've had rambles like this. Haha. I used to complain a lot for not having someone to feel brokenhearted on. And now that he's here, well of course it's different. No one wants to wallow in misery right?

Now I'm stuck in the middle. At the back of my mind, I know that after a few days everything will turn out okay. That this is the beginning of the many struggles that we will surpass as a couple (after complaining that we're still in the stupid honeymoon, infatuation stage). But the gravity of what happened has gained its toll on me leaving no room for immediate forgiveness, no matter how soon I want to get over it, no matter how soon I want this fight to end.

Hoowell. I have to go now. NEW HEADER PICTURE SOON.

Nothing to do. Posting this before a decent entry. :)

From Pau again. <3

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. last beverage? Iced coffee.

2. last phone call? Raymond

 

3. last text message? From Gab. 
4. last song you listened to? Hear My Heart - Nikki Gil. Hi Nikki! :) 
5. last time you cried? Hmmm can't remember. 

HAVE YOU EVER: 
6. dated someone twice? HA? Hahaha. 
7. been cheated on? I hope not. 

8. kissed someone & regretted it? Nope. Thankfully. 
9. lost someone special? Haha. I think not. 
10. been depressed? Yup. :|
11. been drunk and threw up? WOOT WOOT 2006. 

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. PINK
13. Purple
14. White

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend? Yeeap
16. Fallen out of love? I haven't even fallen in love yet. :p
17. Laughed until you cried? Hahaha. Yeah those few times. 
18. Met someone who changed you? HMMM. Hahaha. Not yet. 
19. Found out who your true friends were? Yes.
20. Found out someone was talking about you? Not really. I hope not! 
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list? Hahaha no

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life? About 90%. Most I don't remember since a lot of former hs and gs friends are adding me up. :) 
24. Do you have any pets? NO. :( But I want to own cats! 
25. Do you want to change your name? I used to. But my name comes with certain perks. 
26. What did you do for your last birthday? Got super drunk since it wasmy last day in Junior year. But that was the pre-celeb. I had to attend a seminar so there was just a small surprise and tons of greetings. Then I celebrated again with friends the weekend after. Haha. 
27. What time did you wake up today? )*@#! Freaking 5 am. I haven't even slept this week. 
28. What were you doing at midnight last night? SLEEPING.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for. TONIGHT. Haha. :) 
30. Last time you saw your Mother? About 2 hours ago. 
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Nothing.
32. What are you listening to right now? Island in the Sun - Weezer
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Hahaha no.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? Really. Today useless meetings. Everyone's practically late. Haha. I'm JUST SO TIRED. I need a break please! Call me next week! 
35. Most visited webpage? Gmail and yahoo.
37. Nicknames? Da, Dareel, Duhreal, Daryll
38. Relationship Status? SINGOL. 
39. Zodiac sign? Aries
40. Male or female? Female
41. Elementary? Sacred Heart School
42. Middle School? Sacred Heart School Haha
43. High school/College: St. Paul Paranaque and Ateneo
44. Hair colour? Chocolate brown
45. Long or short? Long
46. Height: 5'1" according to last week's physical examination
47. Do you have a crush on someone? Hmm not at the moment
48: What do you like about yourself? My excellent planning skills. Hahaha. WEE.
49. Piercings? 2
50. Tattoos? None
51. Righty or lefty? Righty but I want to learn using my left. 

FIRSTS:
52. First surgery? Hahaha. Haven't had one. 
53. First piercing? Baby piercings
54. First best friend? Claire Atkins, oh no. Paula something. I forgot her surname already :))
55. First sport you joined? Volleyball
56. First vacation? I dunno. I just know I haven't had a decent one in college. 
58. First pair of trainers? Cant remember

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating? Nope.
60. Drinking? Nope
61. I'm about to. Reply to Kacci's text. 
62. Listening to? Step Up- Samantha Jade
63. Waiting on? SANGGU. For everyone to come to the freaking joint session.

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids? yes
65. Get Married? Yes
66. Career? I'm not sure yet. But I'm definitely called for public service. :)

WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes? Pareho lang. 
68. Hugs or kisses? Both!:)
69. Shorter or taller? Taller
70. Older or Younger? older
71. Romantic or spontaneous? A romantically spontaneous date? Hahahaha 
72. Nice stomach or nice arms? Both :)) 

73. Sensitive or loud? Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant? Trouble maker :))

HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger? No
77. Drank hard liquor? Yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts? No but I ruined mine 
79. Sex on first date? Of course not. 
80. Broken someone's heart? I hope not
81. Had your own heart broken? Hahaha I don't care
82. Been arrested? No.
83. Turned someone down? HMMM.
84. Cried when someone died? of course
85. Fallen for a friend? Uhhhh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself? I think I do
87. Miracles? YES
88. Love at first sight? No
89. Heaven? yes
90. Santa Claus? I used to
91. Kiss on the first date? NOPE sorry
92. Angels? Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf? Hahaha yes
95. Did you sing today? I'm not in the mood yet. Hahaha maybe later
96. Ever cheated on somebody? Of course not. 
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? Last night. I want to sleep again. 
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? HMMMMMM. Wala eh
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? Now I am.
100. Posting this as 100 truths? Yes. :) 

Taking a break. :)

45 Things You Might Not Know About Me

1] Whats your middle name? Marquez. Wuhoo.

2] How big is your bed? Double

3] What are you listening to right now? Imma Shine by Youngbloodz

4] What are the last 4 digits in your cell phone number? Secret. :) 

5] What are the things you hate about your youngest sister? I wish I had a sister. But I don't so haha.
6] What's favorite ice cream flavor? VANILLUH, pistachio and OOOH sansrival with almonds. YUMMY.
7] Kikiam, fishballs o kwek-kwek? Kwek-kwek for cholesterol! 
8] Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Phil Disini. Went random calling on my babies last night for their mommy errands.
9] What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Face? :))
10] Favorite movie? Closer. Just a month ago. Haha.
11] Who's your crush right now? Someone not in the Philippines, someone i'm looking forward to seeing on Friday and someone really random from our Batangas outing. Haha.
12] Tequila, Beer or Margarita? Cuervo all the way. Margarita with the girls and NO TO BEER.
13] Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night? Yes. And my dad can't get over it. I was what? 16? I didn't remember getting home and passing out on my bed. 
14] Hair color? Wavy black but had it colored chocolate brown. :) 
15] Eye color? Dark brown and red when no sleep.
16] Do you wear contacts/glasses? Glasses in class.
17] Favorite holiday? SUMMER. :) 
18] Favorite season? SUMMER. 
19] Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? DUH. 
20] Last Movie you Watched? HAHAHA. The Wizard of Oz... and still wanting to go on that movie marathon. Deymn the new dvd player. 
21] What books are you reading? My friend currently got me obsessing over Judith McNaught and Jude Deveraux love stories. I swear they are so cheeesaaay I need something non-drama to balance it off. 
22] Piercings? My ears.
23] Favorite Chocolate? LINDT from Ireland. Only my Ninong knows how to make me happeh. Oh, and Reese's and Butterfingers. 
24] Dream date? ERR. A decent and fun date? 
25] What were you doing before filling this out? Mailing my babies, spamming everyone's mail, attempting to do a paper and kicking the coffee vendo machine.
26] Any pets? NO. I'm not allowed to own one! :( Well I'm barely at home naman.
27] Dogs or cats? CATS
28] Favorite Flower? Mommy's yellow bells
29] Have you ever loved someone? COURSE.
30] Who would you like to see right now? Niko. So that I would know if he'd go with me to Rustan's to buy fruits for later's jam-making spree.
31] Do you like to travel by train? When I commute. Haha. 
32] Right-handed or Left-handed? Right but attempting to be ambidextrous. Haha.
33] If you could go to any place right now where would you go? At home. In my bedroom. On my bed. ZzzzZzz
34]Are you missing someone? Yes.
35] Do you have a tattoo? No
36] Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? Whenever I get the chance to watch TV yeaaah.
37] Are you hiding something from someone? Errr. My eco teacher?! :)) 
38] What is the wallpaper on your cell phone? A naked banana.
39] did you get enough sleep last night? Thankfully.2 hours. Yaay. HAHAHA.
40] What do you have handy at your bedside? Trash. My piggy banks, cellphone holders, Mother of Perpetual Help clock, a rosary and stuff...
41] how old r u? 20
42] Are you afraid of the dark? Yes.
43] Favorite song? Blame It by Jamie Foxx. Groooovvyyyy. 
44] Who are you afraid of? Lord, my parents, professors
45] Are you a giver or a taker? I'd like to say a little bit of both. I've grown, oh wow!

-------
1) Single, Taken, or Crushing? ERRR. NONE.
2) Are you happy with where you are? Uh no my butt is hurting. Hahah. And I don't want to go to class. :( 
3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast? I haven't met the right person.
4) Have you ever had your heart broken? WHOOOOOO
5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok? ASA.
6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? Hahaha. No
7) Have you talked about marriage with another person? Yuup dozens of times
8) Do you want children? Yes.
9) How many? 2-3? :) 
10) Would you consider adoption? I want my own. Haha.
11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know? Definitely not through facebook and ym. THIS IS NOT HIGH SCHOOL BETCH.
12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get? Errrr. Phone a friend?
13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating? Honestly, it's me who's always been played at. 
14) Do you believe love at first sight exists? No.
15) Are you romantic? According to other people, hopeless romantic is more like it.
16) Do you believe that you can change someone? I used to! How naive. - HAHA. Me too.
17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object where would it be? ROME. or SPAIN. 
18) Do you have feelings for someone right now? Nope. 
19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't? Err. No thanks?
20) Have you ever broken a heart? I don't think so.
21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other? Yes bring it on
22)What would you say about your last ex? ERR.
----------

What's a fact about the last person who had their arms around you? Reg is one of my bestfriends. :))
What do you currently hear right now? For You, Kenny Latimore in my iTunes.
What are your chances of getting with your crush? Not even thinking about it.
Do you still talk to the person you last dated? I haven't dated recently? Haha
When it comes to the opposite sex, whats your type? Someone who's typically decent. :))
Where is the furthest place youve traveled? My travel history is bad. Haha
Is the last person you kissed older than you? Mom? Haha. 
If you could have one thing right now what would it be? An A in Eco 111
Last kiss mean anything? Love mom?
Does your ex miss you? ?!
Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you? ?! HA
Do you curse in front of your parents? If I slip Hahaha
Did anyone see you kiss that last person you kissed? :|
Are you keeping a big secret right now? Najejebs ako.
Name something you are doing tomorrow? Waiting for class. 
Were you dating anyone this time of year last year? Noope
Has anyone ever crawled through your window? :)) 
Have you told anybody you loved them today? Yes.
Was today better than yesterday? Not sure
Most memorable thing that happened to you this summer? BUSY BUSY BUSY
Where was your default picture taken? Batangas
What were you up to at 11pm last night? Delaying my study tactics for eco
What smells better? Gasoline or permanent markers? GAS
Do you eat whip cream straight out of the can? Nope
Why did you cry the last time you did? Hmm long ago because of stress
What was the first thing you thought this morning? Fuck school. Haha. 
What makes you happy? Sleeping
Who will be the first person you call tomorrow? One of my babies 
What’s the greatest thing thats happened to you today? Nothing yet 
Do you have a best friend to lean on? Yes!
Do you drink lots of water? Yes.
Dont you think cheese is the most awesome word ever? Hmmm. I dunno. Maybe?
If you were about to die, what would your last words be? It depends. Throw me a party? Haha
Why do moms like to vacuum right when you are watching TV? Because they love it.
Who do you like right now? Definitely not my eco teacher. But maaaampleaaaseeeeineedbonus.
When was the last time your parents gave you the s3x talk? HAHAHAHA. Like I dunno the last time I had a bf.
Did it end up like everyone screaming and knives being thrown? Nothing close to that.
Ever rejected someone? Why? Were they not pretty enough for you? HMMM.
Dont you just hate it when your boy/girlfriend dumps you for someone else?! Durrrh.
Favorite thing to do with your family? Shopping, traveling
Who are you talking to right now? My eco paper
Why? Because I did not study.
When was the last time you got hurt? Just now.OH ECO111.
are you happy with your life? Not right now. Haha. 

--------

How often do you wear makeup? When I go out. 
Is there anything currently hurting on your body? My brain and sanity.
Whats the last song you sang along to with a friend? Paparazzi by Lady Gaga
Have you kissed anyone in the past 5 days? Nope
How old were you when you stopped sleeping with a night-light? 6? Haha
Whose car did you ride in last? My car?
Last person you shared food with? Erm oooh that pandesal from Pan de Amerikana with my dad. >;)
Ever kissed someone with blue eyes? Naah 
Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately? Happy.
Do you think you have made someone happy recently? I think so.Right bhi? 
Whats something you cant wait for? A LOT.
Is tomorrow going to be a good day? Hopefully.
Whats the weather like outside? Not summer-y.
Can you do a push-up? Yup. Knuckle pa eh. Hahaha 
When was the last time you received a hug? Monday. Hey Tep! 
Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? Whales na lang
Did you speak with your father today? YUH. I told him to pick me up at around 6. :) 
Who do you call when youre having a bad day? Bea, Reg, Tep and Kara
Has anyone told you they would never leave and left? YUP.
Who was the last person you slept with? My barkada. In that super humid villa in Batangas.
Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? Of course not.
Have you ever thought you were gonna die? Yeah. Just yesterday because Drew left. WORK IS PILING. :(
Has someone put their arm around you in the past 5 days? Yes!
Are you shy? When the situation calls for it. Haha
How is your heart now? Aching because of eco.
Do you believe in love? Yuh
When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life? Year 2009.
Could things possibly get any better? I hope so.
Which one of your friends lives closest to you? My whole village barkada. :) 
What CD is in your stereo? HAHAHA. Ancient.
Last thing you purchased? Honey and mangoes.
Plans for tonight? Josh's burdei treat. :D 
Would you rather have roommates or live alone? Roommates.
You're able to go back in time and change one thing, what is it? Nothing.
You have to walk home from school, how long does it take? At least a week if I jog. 
Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming? Eh?!
Whats been different this year? I'm definitely happier.
Do you miss anything or anyone? Not really. 

-----

1) Say something about your love life. Nonexistent.
2) What is your fave song? Lots
3) What is your current mood? Annoyed. 
4) Cigarettes or beer? Cigarettes, a bit 
5) Where were you yesterday? School school school
8) Who is your idol? The guy who got one mistake in this stupid test.
10) What did you do to the person who backstabbed you? Threw a sheep at her and oggled at her big fat arms.
11) Do you have problems? Durrrh
12) Last person you hugged? Teeepteeep
13) How's life? What a survey.
14) Hiphop or emo? Hiphop since I used to dance. Emo never. :))
15) What will you do this weekend? Dentist appointment, Project Hearing and then hang out with my friends for Ces' birthday celeb. 
16) Are you a war freak? Nooo.
17) What/Who do you think of the most when you are alone? I don't think I sleep.
18) Is your friendster set to private? Not really.
19) Who are the most important people in your life? Lots
20) How many piercings do you have? Two
21) Do you remember your dreams? Sometimes I do, sometimes I wish I don't
22) What do you have to do before you sleep? A lot. 
23) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Phil
24) Who was the last person you talked to in person? Gelo. What the hell is happening?
25) Is someone mad at you right now? I hope not.
27) Have you ever had a reptile as a pet? Erm no. But I had a crustacean! 
28) Who was the last who missed call on your cell phone? Dad
29) Have you ever finished a rubiks cube? Once! 
30) When was the last time you rode a bike? 11 y.o.
31) Are you wearing socks right now? Nope.
32) Do you like mornings? Sometimes
33) Will you donate organs after you pass away? Maybe
34) Do you drink tea? Yes.
35) Have you ridden in someone else car today? Nope, maybe Kay's when we meet later
36) Is your room clean? Not yet
39) Whats the connection between you and the last person you texted? My SB baby
40) What kind of people do you hate? People who hate me too
41) Has anyone gotten on your nerves lately? Microeconomics.
42) Do you think you'll be married in 10 years? SANA
43) When it is a rainy night, what do you do most of the time? Read a book
44) Have You ever felt like you're tired of your life? No.
45) What do you regret most? Not studying for eco. :(
46) Do you think life is unfair? Fact of life.
48) Until what age do u want to live your life? 80 at most
49) Have you had a white Christmas before? Never

Super duper love. <3

While I am on the extreme adventure of whipping up a new layout for my blog (and delaying my attempt to review Eco111), I decided to upload pictures instead of how summer and semi-Senior life have been so far. 

(Though feeling a bit iffy since I know someone behind me might be peeking at my laptop screen) 

Pre-birthday celeb with Bea :)

Midnight birthday surprise from Sanggu during the ECA++ Forsem

Post-birthday celeb @ Embassy :)

DSLD Formsem in Fontana

Summer getaway with family in Pangasinan

SB Core Formsem @ Valle Verde, Ace Water and... :)) 

Top 44 Formsem in Caliraya

Too bad we couldn't take pictures of our games. Hahaha. 

And more more more to come. Like this weekend, I'll be busy with trips to Tagaytay with my family and the BEAAACH with my beeaaches, I mean bitches. Thank God. I'm so tired of meetings and deadlines they're blowing off my sanity. :| I need to work on a loooot but I'm glad my parents are pampering me (well sort of) now - think weekend shopping and fooooood galoore. Hahaha. Halatang minsan lang. OH WELL. Now they're pressuring me to cancel my seminars because they want me to come with them to a loooong weekend in Tagaytay and Batangas. I mean, sure I'm up for that but I'm going to feel guilty if I cancel last minute with BC. :| Anyway.

Random. I got to get my hands on those books from Buy-The-Book before the 2nd week of month because after that is just crazy crazy. Okay. Off to academic obligations now. 

BECAUSE.

I am stuck in the stupid library (okay, I love the school library it's my secret happy place) FORCED to "brush up" on my Calculus (taken up 10 million years ago) for my Micro Eco class, I am serioulsy stuck with nothing to do.

Well except stalk and tinker with my online accounts.

Now that I have opened my Facebook, Multiply and even Friendster HAHAHA, I now have nothing to do but read Calculus tutorials on the Internet even if I don't understand a thing. School is love. School is love.

But anyway. We'll be leaving for Caliraya tomorrow evening for the Top 44 Formsem so I guess it's something to look forward to for the weekend ahead.

Before I end this nonsense I just want to post this rather disturbing remark from a good friend of mine.

*John and Da in the Leong Hall elevator on the way to the Eco Dept for John's load rev:

John: Da! I can't believe you! No guys?! No guys?
Da: I KNOW RIGHT. No, actually wala na kong paki. Rejection na lang lahat. I need to spare myself a bit of dignity
John: But what's summer without a guy?!
Da: THANKS HA. Hahaha. Eh wala eh. Mga walang kwenta sila.

There. But don't get me wrong I ain't looking for no guy. Haha. It's just that on the deeper sense of life, it gets tiring wanting something you can never have. RIIGHT.

SO BYE okay? I hope to see you when you come back. And I hope to get over you while you're gone. HIHIHIHIHIHI. <3

SUMMER '09. :)

There are quite a few things that I would like to do this summer after all the busy-ness has vanished. 

1. Buy and READ  new book.

2. Stroll around in Glorietta and visit the new mall areas.

3. Buy 3 summer dresses. 

4. UPLOAD ALL MY OVERDUE PICTURES.

5. Update my blog. 

Okay those are on the top of the loooong list. I'm currently on a third of this very promising summer -  think: clubs, formsems here and there, outings, summer class, BUSINESS, volleyball games and council work - WOOOHOOO. Contrary to the short and super bitin break that I had last year and the rest was just stress, this seems to be one of the most enjoyable breaks that I have had so far. :) 

I know I didn't have a blast on my birthday but after recharging myself two days succeeding the super awful incident, I was well on my way to paruuuhhhdiiise. :) And I'm happy that I get to be with friends, family and the people who I share the same passion with. 

I will now take a nap since I will be embarking on a 5-hour drive to Pangasinan later. I just came from a mind-boggling planning spree from Fontana with my DSLD loves (plus a super kaduper fun swimming spree after!) and I need to smoothen my sanity before I go to Punta Riviera tonight! I'm so exciteeeeed! <3 

Oh, and I miss someoneS. I won't say who but I just really miss them. This one person, I hope to see and talk to this summer class. 

YIPEE. 

Almost reaching this famous happy end. :)

ALAS. Two more days and I am off prancing to happiness and freedom! ;) 

The thought of it just makes the pits of my stomach lurch, and as it sinks in more and more I can't stop myself from looking forward to the promise that this summer will hopefully bring. Haha. :D 

Friday spells parteeeeh all over it counting down the last two days of my teen years. AAAWWWW. I will surely miss the most hormonal, depressive and impulsive phase of my life. Twenty definitely grants me the license to really think my age and consequently deprives me of the right to engage in shallow affairs. 

AGAIN, shallow affairs. So I'm saving this mental post-it: despite indulging myself in cyberstalking and the lingering feeling of kilig and giddiness while the supposed friendship with *ahem* lasts, a lesson learned is a lesson learned. 

I should, at the very least, stop thinking about it too much and lessen my tendency to daydream. After all (as Junie randomly mentioned the other day) it's one of the causes of Alzheimer's. HAHAHA. Whatever. 

So anyway. Back to reality Darilita. 

Reloading summer bliss is almost underway and my happy Junior journey is about to end. Till then, I am off to finish my last 3 requirements as best as I can. :) 

Back to Levination. :D Toodles! <3