Signs

When wheeling around a decision that is bound to utterly change your life, you will always go for the standard method of singling the other one out. The pros and cons checklist. 

But what if, all circumstances granted, the pros and the cons don't seem to outweigh one another? What will you do? 

You pray to God, and ask for a sign. 

This week I've had a couple. 

In the nearness of the highly anticipated pre-clincher activity, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about God sending me the signs. I wanted to prepare myself and gradually be inclined to the more favorable outcome. 

1) I let go of all the usual anxiety at work despite all the looming deadlines and they, in one way or another, found a way to deliver themselves.  

2) On the first day of school, I asked the cab driver to take the usual route, despite the qualms about slow moving traffic in Service Road. He told me we would take the express way but I insisted on going the usual direction. 

We took the Service Road and we breezed through it. No traffic, just a 5 minute ride all the way. 

I was right in trusting my instincts and in taking the risk. I took the way I trusted more and it was smooth sailing. 

3) The biggest sign? I was asked to submit writing samples. I dug deep into my HD to retrieve all reaction papers and position essays that I did in college. (Since, in the absence of such at my present work, I have none)

I found this in one SOMBA paper that I wrote for a post-talk reflection on starting a business. 

 Of all the people I quoted right? :) 

Who is John Rockefeller? You'll find out soon enough! 

Fingers crossed! 

Better Than Manny

(Doing a spin-off from my TM speech proj 2) 

What comes into your mind when you hear the word GenSan? (pause) Or Saranggani? (People mutter familiar answers under their breaths) Or Mindanao? 

Good evening. I am here today to take you into a small tour of the treasures that lie within General Santos and Saranggani, other than Manny Pacquiao's mansion and birthplace. 


As a yuppie, I consider the luxury of traveling (on my own and with my friends) as a hard-earned privilege. When I was 10 years old, traveling meant waking up at dawn to be able to get to a resort or a beach in nearby Laguna or Batangas with my family. But now, the possibilities are limitless. Because traveling has been made so accessible to almost everyone in this age, it is only common for people to invest in exposure to and absorption of so many different cultures that the world has to offer. Or the Philippines at that. 


My college friends and I have this small traveling group because of our friend Paolo, who gets assigned to ridiculous places in the archipelago as his retail territorial manager stint in Pilipinas Shell Corp. Aside from visiting and spending time with him to perk up his dying nomadic social life, we get free passes to tour, lodging and gas when we book a trip to his turf. Last year it was Iloilo-Guimaras. This year, it was the borderline mountains of the Philippines in General Santos and Saranggani. 


We know Davao and Samal Island as the more frequented tourist spots in Mindanao. But apart from the familiar echo of the words GenSan and Saranggani whenever Manny Pacquiao wins a fight, nobody has any idea on what treasures these cities hold. So, coming into the trip we absolutely had no idea what to expect. For me, there were only two things: I was in it for the 1) fun and the 2) relaxation no more no less, away from the city - because honestly the stress of it all can't make me any less thankful than being deported to the far flung areas of the country.


Prior to this trip, people would ask me, where are you off to this weekend? I'd politely say: "GenSan" and get to a short narrative of this thing with Pao. With eat and roadtrip with "the best company ever" in mind and a few bikinis in my bag in hopes of having little traces of sun when I get back to the city, I set off for my weekend trip to GenSan. 


When we got there, Pao already poured effort into debunking the absence of our expectations and promised us three things (you know, the non-negotiables in any traveler's checklist): 1) food 2) adventure and 3) scenery. And we were like, okay since we're already here, might as well. Then we began our itinerary. 


On our first day, Pao picked us up with his familiar red Ford Ranger (company car no less) all filled up and ready for the roadtrip. After our breakfast stop in one of the popular coffee shops in the key city area, we headed to Lake Sebu, a 2 to 3-hour drive from the municipalities of GenSan located in the South Cotabato region. As we took off, we saw long outstretched roads that boasted of green pastures and fantastic mountain scenery. I thought this was a given since this was very rural for the place and I sure hoped this would not end there. 


We got to the place at around lunch time. It was a very balmy summer day and the lake's surface was reflecting the sun's sparkling rays. A boatman set out to paddle within the area and check if there was any catch at that time. Now this was still scenery :) 

 

The whole morning drive drained us so we settled for lunch that was mostly tilapia in nature. Since Lake Sebu was known for its cultivation and breeding of tilapia, all sorts of dishes were practically made to appeal to everyone's palate. We ordered just about anything that looked scrumptious. We chose the floating section on the top of the water to complete the dining experience. 

Tilapia like never before: pinakbet, sinigang sa pakwan, chicharon, sizzling, sweet and sour. BURP. 

First attempt at showcasing food, check. It was a definite success. 

After filling up our stomachs, we then headed to the second item in our itinerary, adventure. Just a few minutes away from the lake was a zipline attraction that served as a go-to by many of the tourists. Never mind that the drive was pretty bumpy and scary, my mental image of the zipline ride got the best of me. News had it that it was right smack in the middle of the mountains, just beside the waterfalls and a few hundred feet above the ground. I was scared of heights and I needed to someone to hold my hand, like the last time. Heehee :) 

Shortly after a 10 minute trek from the hill view top, we readied ourselves for the zipline ride. I was so eager to ask the manong in the first stretch of the station: "Manong, ilan po pwedeng sumakay?" (Silently praying that my friends would cut me some slack and accompany the chicken in me to the ride) He surveyed me from head to toe and unhesitatingly answered, "Ma'am depende po sa bigat." KABOOM. I dared not ask more. But thankfully my good friend Sammey rode with me on the first line. 

  Strapped to death. 

 

Here we go!

 

At long last!!! :) 

The ride was mind numbing/breathtaking/adrenaline pumping in all levels! We got to cruise above 600 ft off the ground with all the trees and tiny specks of living things prodding below. We passed by the gigantic water falls on our way to the other side. Adventure, check. I was ready for round two. 

This time (and despite what manong said) Raymond, Sam and I were fastened to the zipline. 

 

There was nothing like it. 

Upon settling down, we then proceeded to the waterfalls where we were hoping to have a good swim. We were all sticky from the zipline and the humid afternoon deserved no less than a plunge in the cool foresty waters. This was what welcomed us tucked behind the mountains. 

 

Of course at this point we were all thinking, Pao you haven't disappointed us one wee bit. 

But the rapids were too strong so after taking some pictures with the Japanese painting-like view, we then headed towards home. Awesome scenery: double-check. 

Being in a place far away from home puts you in a state of experimentation, of trying things you have never done before. But en route to our dinner place we tried out one thing we didn't have to experiment on just because we didn't have a choice: watch the last full show at 8PM. A bucket of popcorn plus a romcom and we were all set. 

 

Unofficially Yours

Then at long last, it was dinner time. To humble our grumbling stomachs, we were in for this kind of treat: 

 

King crabs smothered in garlic-ky goodness.

 

Tuna. The pride of Mindanao. 

We dozed off in bed very very happy. That capped off our first night in GenSan. 

Second day, woke up to a pretty late start but the sun was high enough to welcome us to the tententen: BEACH! It was time for us to get our tan on. High from the previous day's adventures and food, we headed to Saranggani to have our regular dose of the beach. 

Lo and behold this was what we found. No words, embellished and exaggerated could describe how underrated this beach seems to be. Hiding in the borderlines of this country, left unexplored by wanderlusts and travelers, this is a good enough attraction to magnet all tourists to this place. 

 

Nope, this ain't PS and BS. White sand, aqua blue crystal clear waters that mimic the shorelines of Brazil. This is Saranggani for you. 

 

The weather was just perfect. The scorching heat of the sun complemented the sea breeze as we indulged ourselves with a noontime dip. We played around with the fine sand, so fine it seemed like clay. Scenery and adventure: check check check check!!! :) 

Needless to say, I got burnt after this trip. 

On our way to the city, we decided to stop over and have our first meal of the day (at like 3 in the afternoon). We stuffed ourselves up with these babies. Only the cheapest, yummiest and most sinful steaks in town: 

 

Rib-eye steak with a bar of margarine. Thousand points for Weight Watchers! 

As if we haven't had enough, we hung unto the promise of cliff diving as briefed by Pao on our first day. We took another 30-minute drive to the cliff bay area to find the perfect diving spot for another fresh adventure. But much to our dismay, it was already getting dark and no one could accommodate us anymore. We then took a pit stop at Cesma cliff and swam the waters until past sunset. 

 

That aww-inducing moment. 

By twilight that day, we were quite sad that our GenSan adventure was nearing to an end. But before everything else, we had yet to tire ourselves with tuna. So this was what made our dinner on our last night: 

 

Baby back ribs at Php 300+ 

 

Grilled tuna. 

 

Tuna kilawin. 

Our last night was cheered to a halt with a bottle of Bailey's rolled out with the best of our friendship's catching up and talks. It was another one for the books most definitely. 

I apologize for the lack of description (my corporate life is catching its toll on me) and hasty ending but here's what I assure you. 

I came to this trip with just 2 expectations: fun and relaxation. Pao counterproposed with three things: scenery, food and adventure. He didn't fail the least in any of them and at such, actually exceeded them. Because at the end of the day, most truly, there is something better in GenSan and Saranggani to see than Manny. 

Toodles! 

Book On Board!

Life is a journey,we're all going somewhere, but where are we going? - Logos Hope 

I've been too many years late in finding out about the MV Logos Hope, just about the largest floating book sale that sails all over the world (pun intended). I read about it in a newspaper article that was posted by a friend in Facebook. Anything about books and book sales makes me go gaga ever since I was a kid. 


Before booking my parents for a visit to the South Port of Manila and see what was there to see, I did my own research about the MV Logos Hope. Apparently, it began its journey originally as a car ferry before it was operated by the renowned German Christian organization the GBA Ships e.V. Since 1970, its ships (Logos, Doulos, Logos II and now Logos Hope) have visited over 500 different ports in 160 countries and have welcomed over 40 million visitors on board.With a very inspirational goal of  bringing knowledge, help and hope to nations across the globe, it also allows citizens of various countries to volunteer, live and serve for two years in the ship en route to its many destinations. 


It was scheduled to dock in the ports of Manila from February 16 to March 14, 2012 and I was lucky enough to have time on the last weekend before it sails for the Subic pier. Stationed on Pier 15, right behind the Manila Hotel and past the Philippine Coastguard Headquarters it was pretty easy to find if you're familiar with the Manila Bay area. Since it was a Sunday, I told my parents to go after lunch because it opens at 1:30PM on Sundays. When we got to the South Port entrance, there was very little parking space so I guessed a mob of people must have gone to see the ship on its last weekend in Manila. 


Moving into the gates, we were welcomed by two ships. The Superferry carrier ship was nearest the dock and the MV Logos Hope was sitting majestically behind it. This was a pretty shot that I was able to take complete with an overcast sky on a late Manila Sunday afternoon. I could smell the sea breeze from where I stood. 

And the standing took long, mind you, because this was the queue that greeted us upon setting foot in the port entrance. 

 About a hundred feet away waiting to board the MV Logos Hope.

Crossing over the real gates, where we would pay our entrance fee and board the ship.

But the wait was absolutely worth it. Despite the long lines and our grumbling stomachs (a very clever mistake not to eat before going there), it took us roughly about 20 mins. tops to wait for our turn. Every 5 mins. signaled a flurry of people getting off the ship so I could just imagine how many people were actually in there. Finally, after paying a very delightfully cheap entrance fee of Php 20.00, we entered the MV Logos Hope for a real treat.

We were welcomed by a highly energetic crew, with the frontliner being a woman (a South American I'm guessing) giving us the house rules after playing a short video about the MV Logos Hope and its crusade. She was even chanting Tagalog words to relate to us and help us ingrain in our minds that the walk in the ship is a one-way system and that we cannot make "halo-halo" the books as courtesy to the next customers who will be coming in. Pretty witty at that, and I was more excited to move on into the book sale.

 Wall exhibit on the ship history.

Inside the ship were 5 different stations: the welcome area where we watched the video, the book fair area, the journey of life area, the theatre and the international cafe. 

Predictably, there were a lot of people on board that it was like mall sale of sorts inside the book fair. I had a hard time squeezing in past customers in the different sections that held almost 5,000 titles. Like the usual bookstore, the books were divided into catergories according to their general topics and I was pleased to see that the staples were there: fiction, health, biographies, cooking, children, spiritual, academic titles, etc.

My parents and I were not so keen on hoarding books since we were there mostly for the adventure but we grabbed a few titles that we found the most useful for home use (which I will reveal later). And well, my dad told me I could download through my iPad the books I wanted anyway and I guiltily agreed so. 


The books were priced per unit but it was fairly easy to remember because 1 unit = P1.00. The price range was fairly reasonable, though I could still vouch for cheaper books in real book sales. But the books were not all hand me downs and the majority for sale was actually brand new.

After asking my dad to pay for our finds, we then cruised through the other stations hurriedly because we wanted to get to the international cafe, to where the food was. On our way we saw murals on glass that told the story of the Prodigal Son, videos of life as a crew on the ship and a small room where a seminar on HIV was being held. 

 

At last we reached the cafe which was unsurprisingly barricaded by a long line of people yet again. Most families and kids had to fight their way to get tables.

While waiting in line, a woman went around and showed us the menu so we'd be ready to order by the time we reach the counter. 
 

I got us the quickest snacks: a bag of popcorn, a croissant (with chocolate syrup and almond slices) and vanilla ice cream. It wasn't bad at all. After it, we were ready to say goodbye to MV Logos Hope and make way for more people to enter the ship.

The book titles that we got were more on health, recipes and self-help. I didn't bother much on the fiction and biography since I still had untouched books here at home. We also got a bag for our books and I have to say that these were best buys that I can't wait to flip through. 


The MV Logos Hope goes around the world every year and my only wish for it is for more people to come and visit. An adventure in it once is enough, given the multitude of people who want to get a piece of that experience. 


I'm not sure if I'd be visiting next year to get more titles but I am interested to volunteer when it docks in Manila again. It would be truly great to spread the cause, involve people and help in a vessel of hope, inspiration and knowledge, in every sense of the word. 

Q2-Q3 Review

Seriously, I should be penalized for always promising to update this blog yet failing at every inch to do so. Pardon my schedule and my penchant for overbooking. It's one of the perks of being single - I get to say yes to every opportunity that comes knocking on my door. I have to be anywhere and everywhere all the time and the last thing I want is to be stuck without nothing to do, even though my life is a huge pile of work as it is.

I've gone a whole month without any substantial updates. My last post was about splurging (wait for the part that uncovers if that's still an issue or not) and I have not posted a single word on my exaggeratedly busy weeks. (For blow by blows, refer to my FB and twitter) So here goes nothing.

(Grabs planner to check dates) 

July swooped in with a lot of gifts and surprises. (It is to the extent that I can't help but cuss under my breath when I look back and dissect everything that's happened) It can even probably win the most eventful month of the year award. But then again, who's to say that the coming months can't get any spicier and more exciting than all of my 22 years combined?

1. Major major work paradigm shift 



Can I just say that working in the major and global accounts has been every bit of demanding, challenging, grueling, tiring, etc.? Negotiations are on opposite sides of the poles. I have been pressuring myself to increase my coverage so that I can already give a comprehensive report on my list come the end of Q3. However, I have to face the fact that I have  a whole other list of commitments that need focus and attention. Plus, some clients tend to be demanding (and I mean a whole new level to that word) so I have to take the extra mile to actually create, revise and overhaul presentations, schedule repeated meetings and do consistent follow-ups. 

What weekends look like for me :) 

2. Demo Challenge 2011


I could still remember my first day at work over a year ago. I sat in the mock presentation of the DC2010 delegates to our president and CEO, head of division and managers. I mused over the fact that I can still get to do what I love doing in HS and college - being the seasoned presenter on marketing competitions, theses, defenses and speeches alike. So, I vowed from that day on, that I was going to be the next representative of the Philippines to the hosting country of the Asian regional finals. 


Nearly a year, cried over drafts, crammed spiels, recycled slides, nagged teammates and supportive other friends later, I was standing on the 15F in front of a panel of judges hoping to become the next DC2011 champion to Singapore. 


Lo, and behold! After crashing down to make up for all late nights' loss of sleep, I got the text saying that not only was I going to SG, I also topped the contest for the division. For a moment right there I was feeling a bit jubilant. It was a milestone in my career and a goal that I set for myself. Once again, I was on the road to making my dreams come true. No one can ever come in the way of that. :) 

Demo Challenge 2011

Needless to say, it's eating a huge chunk of my time right now. The whole stretch of preparations is up until the first week of September. That's already an unwarranted pass to run over my (once in a blue moon) long weekend but hey, I'd be having a mini-vacation when I get there anyway. I promised myself not to entertain side booking for the rest of the coming two weeks so that I could focus on work and Demo Challenge. I'm excited as hell to go to SG and be exposed to other cultures and practices of Canon in the whole region. It's time to actually savor the good memories that I will get from that place when I come back. :) Please wish me luck!

3. Business as usual 

Well my partners and I have had quite a successful test run on our first batch. Although a big struggle for us is finding the right fit for our calendars, we've taken a few baby steps to advance the progress of our business and making it materialize. And I have to say that part of the bottleneck is charged to my account since it's me and my ambitious multitasking that gets in the way of beating deadlines aptly. I swore to help expedite the process once Demo Challenge is over so that we can move on to the next phases of our implementation. 

Please watch out for us in the coming months as we launch our next batch of designed accessories made especially for the requests of our buyers! We're also going to launch our first line of clothes and hopefully bags and shoes! :) Will keep you updated on that. 

4. Toastmasters

Back in college, I had this sort of inexplicable inkling to join this org and help myself enhance my public speaking skills. I never had the chance to, especially with my then-obligations to the bf and other seemingly more important things (of course I was wrong). Even my partners and I at some point tried to venture into joining one chapter to pilot a team that will teach high school students (this offer is still up but later on in the business CSR). Imagine my reaction when the chance to be a guest came, thanks to my Demo Challenge partner Mommy Shie, who I love so dearly just because we have tons of things in common. Toastmasters for one :) 

The experience was everything I pictured it to be, and more. I sat in a room full of yuppies, entrepreneurs and executives  - basically a hodgepodge of people that I don't get to ascribe to as my audience on a daily basis (well long before, but since I'm in the corporate world now, pretty much). What really got to me was the passion and warmth of the people. Never mind that they have to critique the way you organize your speech, the number of times you said aahh, uuhms, or any other verbal crutch, the errors that you made in grammar or how much you went above the given time limit. It was like practicing in a band with long time friends or sitting in a room full of colleagues that don't judge your output but cheer you on to give the best that you have, give constructive criticisms the nicest way they could and still give you  a pat on the back for a job well done. 

That, over and above the fact that it's the nearest chapter that allows us an hour travel time to beat after work rush hour, is the winning reason to actually join that particular chapter (Achievers Toastmasters Club in Makati Stock Exchange). After my first session as a guest with the theme "Style or Fashion", Mommy Shie and I are finally doing our ice breaker speeches a week before we leave for SG. I AM STOKED :) 

5. Fitness First! 

Some good news to top off everything, Fitness First finally gave us our corporate rates for our monthly workouts! I'm really looking forward to this when I come back to SG since I've been gaining a lot of weight (hello frequent drinking and binge eating) and I haven't really spared some time to get my butt out for a short workout. I'd rather spend time refining my solution design in front of a laptop than attend a free session of Barre3 or jog around McKinley. 


This time, no excuses - I'm saying hello to my yoga , hiphop and combat classes again. Not to mention my prolonged hours in the sauna and steamroom and my pretentious cardio minutes in CineFit. Hahahahaha :p 


6. Financial Disability 


With regard to being financially challenged (please refer to last post), I still am in the works of solving this dilemma. My bills just skyrocketed in the last few weeks and I just turned negative with all my pending expenses. I had to get myself a new pair of prescription glasses and book myself a flight to BCD for the Masskara festival on top of a supposed trip to Samar. That and my membership with Fitness plus Toastmasters - all this coming September. Please shoot me now. 


To somehow remedy the situation, my bestfriend Teptep and I are going to hold a small fundraising so that we can pay for our bills and cover up our debts (first to our parents, next to other benefactors). All unnecessary clothes, bags and fairly profitable items will be open for a mini-online garage sale to the public in the coming weeks or so. I pray to have the time for this soon. 


Aside from this, I still need to get a credit card of course and pay my utang to Globe. (BREATHE) I know that funds will easily run out because of all pending travels, bills, night outs and whatever demands of being single are. I promised myself to start learning how to play the stocks soon since that will also give me extra income. BUT JEEZ DO I HAVE ALL THE TIME FOR THIS??? Hahaha. I'm mentally laughing and panicking as I type. 


7. Fling-a-majig 


Given this long list of life-defining pre-occupations, do I still have the time to entertain MEN? Well, here's a pretty straightforward answer: I TRIED TO. But you know where that got me. I never expected to actually like anyone in the course of my career-first disposition, well at least not seriously. I'd have eye candies, crushes and occasional admired guys but not to the lengths of... going out. 


Until this one person actually came along. And that will be spared for a separate and rather lengthy blog entry on questioning what it means to make a move and not follow through, of false hopes and pretenses, of leaving someone hanging, of falling in like and chickening out and of being an asshole. And of course me, being the hopeless romantic who always always foolishly believe too much of the good in people with a side of stupid, overthinking, overreacting and easily FALLING. :) 


But hey no sweat. If I were smart at everything then it'll be the end of the world. So no big. HAHAHA :D 


So there folks. That's all I can throw for my month-long cavorting with life. It's highly ambitious of me to hit the bull's eye and perfect everything but hey, that's MAGIS for me. I just hope I don't drive my crazy along the process. PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE to use this blog as a break and fasten myself to updates! :) My life's been a whole cosmic product of interesting whatnots lately, it's real good not to share. 


Off to work now! :) Toodles! 

Impulse-aholic.

Today, I went into astral projection and saw myself impulsively shop like there's no tomorrow. I'm truly scared at myself and my spending habits.  

I cannot even begin to describe how disappointed I am at myself. I thought I were better, that I could put my endurance to the test, show my newfound self-discipline to greater heights but I who was I kidding? The sole reason why I can't give up carbs? Why I can't really go on a diet? Why it takes me forever to do/give up some things? Why I have an obsession on adrenaline rush? Why it took me so long to write on this blog again? Why I always put myself at the odds of rejection?

Because I can't handle it. For me, a taste of what's good for a fleeting moment is always better than most of its consequences in any given day. That's where the damsel in distress in me comes. This is how I  dig my own grave. It's because I'm so much of a feeler and a sucker for my own emotions that I forget how to think. 

But forget the deeper nonsense. Let's talk financial responsibility. 

I have been telling myself, and for quite a time already, that I really really direly need to be financially wise and responsible. Gone are the days of mindlessly spending on things that I end up using temporarily. Or of doling out cash on other people (and making them charity cases when the total amount can exaggeratedly and unfortunately send someone to HS already, I know) or of not even choosing the better options when 'giving' away my hard-earned cash. I know I'm making up for lost time and a lot of lost opportunities in splurging because of my previous setup but I never planned on making this a monthly habit. I even developed a penchant for buying things I don't need or can live without but just for the sake of, and end up clicking the purchase button or whipping out cash in a flash from my wallet. 

Today, I sorely outdid myself. Before payday, I always have this routine of mapping out and mentally budgeting the things I need (to spend for). Of course the debit/credit, accounts payable and accounts receivable almost cancel themselves out (and in one case even declared AR negative) but the figures don't matter. Just as long as I have the money, I have to make that extra time for a trip to the mall and relieve myself of stress by doing retail therapy. Most of the time it's a lame invention of some kind of self-reward for a difficult and stressed out month. But just how much of a reward is it if it leaves me broke until the next payday? 

So I had a list of things I thought I needed for this month's cash in. A caramel sweatshirt from F21, a backless tee from Terranova and a bag from CMG. This is just the physical retail that I planned to cross out in a day, on top of my online purchase of 3 corporate sheer/layered/fringed/sleeved blouses (the ones I've been trying to peg my styles on lately) from this cute online store. And the list doesn't end there. I also planned on buying 5 sessions of IPL laser for underarm hair removal from Metrodeal since I was getting tired of always going to LayBare lately. 

Feeling primadonna right? Hahaha. This is not exactly what my parents have tried to ingrain in me: spend within your means. It's like, whatever I feel like is of benefit to me, I just end up getting. And paying for it. SIGH. 

So anyway. I went with a good friend with my list in mind. First stop was CMG where I was lured (or myself lured myself) into buying 2 bags! Never mind that I had stuff to buy, I wanted to get a bag for my mom (which as out of my budget) and so I got them! Just like that. I left with two big paper bags in hand. 

The culprit. Photo credits Google. 

And did I mention how bad it felt after a couple of minutes? I didn't last the entire night before going home, without feeling any sorry than I already was for my insanely impulsive self. I thought how else could I have a family without any cash to spare? Or how else could I enroll in financial investment programs? Buy stocks? Park money for insurance like my colleagues and I used to rave about? Even rotate cash on hand for my potential businesses? 

SIGH. 

It's not even shopaholism. I've always been a self-confessed prude on shopping even when I was a kid because I'd always let my parents spend shopping bags for me. But when I started working, it became harder to say no to being a materialistic brat who just has to have everything. 

I am far from knowing how to remedy the situation. But I do know that I have to begin with small steps, set a deadline or establish an achievable short-term goal. Those will be my simple measures of trying to break the habit. From there, only God knows. 

Did I mention that I still have pending purchases online? A phone bill to pay and parents to repay? 

AND end of season sales + shoe in love next weekend? 

PLEASE HELP ME. :( 

And when I do get some answers for this, maybe I would be able to solve my dilemma of always having to impulsively put myself out there to someone I really like and ruin the chances, right? 


RIGHT??? 

Overhaul.

If I had tried to apply for being a columnist, I would have easily found ways on how to not nail the job. Like turning in an article past the deadline for one, and the lack of creativity (or writing skills for that matter) to keep an interest piece actually interesting for another. 

Which is all so funny because I used to write a lot when I was little. I used to draft sample novels and short stories, dreamed that I would be the next Louisa May Alcott of my then-favorite book, The Little Women or Charles Dickens who would create an amazing set of classics as David Copperfield and Great Expectations. Those were the legends, the non-negotiables when a bookworm is to be initiated. After the long stretch of must reads, my choices then matured to contemporary ones with more depth, mystery and insight. 

ANYWAY. As I was saying, I couldn't finish writing to save my life the moment I entered tweendom. Before, my only outlet was this blog. I would bombard it with a lot of trivialities, of senseless thoughts and rants mainly because I was too alone for a time that I didn't bother keeping my life an open book to strangers. Now and then I would update it (to the dismay of the decreasing number of readers) and would leave it hanging for most of the time. 

Now, the sense of blogging in the (and for my) blog world has been redefined. From how I saw it as no more than an online journal, back in the sections of MySpace or Multiply, it has been transformed into a powerful reading tool and a means of self-expression to proliferate and enhance culture, to shape the minds of the modern readers. 

And of course, microblogging has emerged. After my breakup (yes details below), I got myself attached to my one and only BlackBerry. Thanks to easier social access, BB SOCIAL ON, Twitter and Tumblr have been both my bffs next to Facebook in any given day. Of course, I would rather type in a 140 character update of where I am, what I ate or what I did than compose a lengthy entry for everyone and anyone to ogle at and read. 

But now I do not have any excuses. I have fully resolved it in myself that I would, somehow find a way to spruce this blog up, see how the times have rolled and keep it a pretty interesting reflection of how my life has set its course. It definitely isn't the immature, juvenile and naive write ups that I used to post circa 2005 here. However, it wouldn't try to sound as preppy or as choreographed as most blogs do as if writing a column for a fashion magazine. It will be the avenue of my open mind, my adventures, my opinions and my feelings. 

So before I move further, I decided to give myself some rules of engagement. Since this will be an official upping scale of all sorts, I'm establishing a set of seemingly hard and fast rules (which can be broken most of the time depends on my mood, HAHA useless) for the entries that I put here. The content will solely be on things like: 

1. My eternal love for food. 

And no, I won't even try to sound like I'm a foodie. Everything I eat is practically considered delicious already so I don't have to go ala Giada de Laurentiis or Nigella Lawson on anyone. I don't have to dissect the taste, piece the flavors and make up some crap about how the dish is a harmony of whatnots. I know food is worth remembering when it passes one major criteria: It's so good I have to have other people try it by cooking it. So alongside my bouts for the food I try for the first time are the experiments that I make on my journey towards my long awaited stature of life: a stay at home/trophy wife who cooks wickedly delicious meals. 

KIDDING. 

I love to cook and I decided that I make it a weekly habit by cooking fancy lunches for the family. It's a good way to polish my Iron Chef skills in the making without having to attend ridiculously expensive culinary schools which won't get me any closer to earning Michelin stars anyway. (No offense hahaha) 

2. Adventures 

Though the mundane is inevitable, I think I have proven that a lot of firsts and things to be crossed off my bucket list have had the chance to happen at this time and age. This time, I have earned the right to inject some poetic license and to sensationalize these events by highlighting my feelings. Mind you, these will be the only real feelings that will be revealed in the coming months or so, as I have finally coerced myself to shut out all possibilities of unwarranted frustrations and anxiety related to the male species. And yes, that was a bit bitter and shallow. But screw you. 

So, may be it an an afterwork session of beer and Rockeoke, a hike to Sagada or a trip to Shoe In Love (yes, for the most part these are what make up my July's first week), every little adventure is worth documenting. 

There is some kind of liberation when I look back and compare all these to nonsensical entries of how I got stuck in class or the readings I did or the tests I aced and the subjects I unwillingly failed back in my years in the academe. I have so much time that I can invest on doing so many other things that I cannot deprive myself of living just because I have to beat deadlines and live up to the expectations of other people (in this case, my teammates and bosses). 

The time to live is now. I have responsibilities at work and I do them great, but I also have a responsibility to myself. To live. 

3. Projects

Basically anything that falls within ambitions, aspirations, hopes and dreams. Like my upcoming business, my new involvements and things I try to initiate that are a bit of life-changing. Whether it's aspiring to become financially responsible, whether it's a mental debate on getting a credit card, or even the most impossible dream of taking over the world at 22, then I should be able to write about it. 

HONESTLY. I don't know why I have to categorize these things or impose them as if no other subject is allowed. This is, after all, my virtual space that cannot be just left hanging or filled up with junk or creepy blog walkers who advertise or whatever. Just don't expect my blog to trend, go viral or be a part of BlogLovin'. I do not intend to make another space in Wordpress, my loyalty is with Blogspot ♥ 


Therefore, expect to be doused with these couple of things, with much better tags, labels and bookmarked sites on the side scroll. I need to keep up with the times and have a few good reads myself so I can set a benchmark for good writing. (HAHA) But most importantly, it's where I get to share with you the things that interest me the most and get the inspirations for most of the (literary) work that will be coming in. Safe to say that these are all still in the works until further notice. I still have a daytime job too you know. Heehee. 

So here's to more entries, substance or no substance alike, as I finally cheer myself to living life. Moving forward as we say. En route to happiness. (Next entry title) 

'Cause we are all hanging by a thread and it takes no time for us to think, whether to take that leap of faith or not. ♥