In an hour, I will be turning 22. What to make of this day, I'm not exactly sure. Turns out that my month-long celebration has transitioned from steady-ready phase to a big nightmare overnight. But I know this is just how God surprises me in different ways so I have to toughen up and take this as my first challenge as a 22-year old.
I only want three things for this year (well aside from my material 'needs'):
1. Clarity and steadfastness.
Have I mentioned how difficult it is when you're surrounded by people who a) constantly complain about their work, b) are very backward, traditional and mediocre with their approach to work and c) who brand you as idealistic just because you lay out insights about giving the company an extra big push? Well it can crack you up at some point just because finding the motivation to keep doing what you do everyday is hard enough, what more when you get stuck in this kind of system. Don't get me wrong, I love my work (or some big chunks of it) but I don't get how these external factors can help me decide if my work is something that keeps me fulfilled or not. If it's something that will eventually lead me to my end goal or not. If it's something that I should settle for or not. If this is a stepping stone to a bigger adventure or not.
I need to put my foot down. I need to speak to an unbiased professional mentor who can provide me with noteworthy and valuable insights. I tried speaking to my colleagues and not only did I put myself on autopilot mode midway through their senseless, idiotic, self-proclaimed mediocrity of a lecture, I also can't get over how they treated me as 'young, inexperienced, idealistic.' That's just plain wrong.
I don't need to be your age, experienced and up the ranks, to know what I really want and what I'm not settling for. Please take note of that.
Because really. I'm tired of seeing people leave just because they're dissatisfied with something which they can remedy with their personal habits in the first place. You don't complain about your basic salary just because you don't have enough money 2 weeks after payday and blame the lack of compensation. Maybe you should stop going to the casino or doing odds so you have money to spare for work or for your basic luhos? Or maybe you can't complain about having to go to work early just because you get so used to being homebased?
Is it in the nature of work or is it the fact that people can't discipline themselves?
Anyway. I'll spare this for another entry.
The deeper reality is this. For the coming months, we are going to be affected by the tragedy in Japan. The external factors, I can resist. But if the management level fails to have me as a regular employee in the coming months, then I have to reevaluate my stay. It's going to be difficult to close sales if we can't issue stocks or have installations because there will be no available units. And no, we are not closing down. We have been asked not to share the details or to stay neutral if any media entity approaches us. But I assure you that the management will do everything that it can to keep the business running.
As for my personal decisions, I still have to think. Because it's been 6 months and I haven't achieved my first short-term goal. Yet, I don't want to leave the company without accomplishing something.
2. A birthday cake.
Mango Bravo from Conti's seems such a good treat right now ♡
A warm cup of coffee to go with this also sounds good :)
3. A rejuvenated drive to work.
I hope I finish addressing all of my post-sales problems and focus on developing new accounts. Because really. I was quite appalled at myself for shutting down and just washing my hands off of them after getting tired. I now bear the consequences of letting them prolong, so I have to end them quickly as soon as possible. I was really not the type to let things go out of control in the first place.
4. PAHABOL:
I also want to have a better sense of financial responsibility now that I am a year older. I have to save up for my new business' capital (soon to come *wink*) and for trips and eventually for my Master's degree. I won't be able to do that if I incessantly succumb to impulsive buying and if I can't pay for simple bills and debts. *SIGH*
Nonetheless, I hope tomorrow turns out well.
Hello there,
1 comment:
i miss our old blogging days! with ria and jecky and psycho ranting! hahaha
anyway, i get what you're saying da. but like with me naman, it's the immediate bosses themselves who don't motivate, they don't give a sense of the bigger picture, of what i'm working for. it's more like, meet day to day tasks, do this, do that...i feel so limited and like i have no direction because i dont know where to go. and yes, everyone in the office if effing miserable too.
i guess in a sense, we ARE idealistic. and the thing is, i dont want to lose that idealism because without it, nothing will set us apart from mediocre people who are just doing the bare minimum to get by.
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