Just like that.

Just like that, I was waiting for someone to catch me and just like that, I thought he came.

Iba pala talga yung feeling ng mahulog ang loob mo sa isang taong committed sa iba. Iba din yung feeling ng vindictive pleasure knowing na ikaw yung nilapitan niya and hindi ikaw yung nag-initiate na mangyari ang mga bagay2.

Ayoko na ng ganitong buhay. Why can't love be an easy thing?

I don't step on other people's lives so I think I should leave this thing alone. The odds are too extreme and the risks are too dangerous.

Can somebody please make me numb?

Home Alone.

Ooowee. I'm here at home and I'm alone.

So much for shoes. My whole family went out to buy shoes!

Oh well, I still have to prepare for Pam's debut tonight.

And oh, our last game for the season.

Goodluck to this damsel in distress.

My world without love.

Forgive me.

I stare and sit at this corner while the walls are closing in on me.

Gazing upon nothing but my heart lain on the floor, broken into a million pieces.

Those pieces symbolize my dreams; shattered and vanquished from existence, the time that it will take for us to see each other again, the miles that are separating us and the tears that I've cried. . .

Because I can no longer have you.

I can wait.

But not for someone who no longer wants me to.

Precious is you, infinite is our time, a thousand miles is our distance, vanished is our love.

When you go, please leave me unscathed.
I have drowned in your placid being.

Ang pagtatapos ng review.

Dude, pare tsong. I'm afraid I've failed in the simluated test in our review for one reason: math.
As always.

Well, partly, it was my fault. I was so busy with school and my games that I didn't allow myself to have time to review or even practice some drills a week before.

Oh well. I'm counting the days down before doomsday. Malapit nanaman magpasukan.

Senior year is gonna be heaven and hell on earth.

My love has left na. Haay. I hope to see him next summer pa. Will i survive this challenge?
Please pray for me to surpass this trial. To whoever will read this blog.

The Debate Seminar/Workshop was a "success".

For that matter, define the word success. There were definitely a lot of weird stuff before i could've surmised that the seminar was a success.

The whole thing was planned by Jackie and I and we received some good responses from people before the actual week. But then, it was pretty much a nightmare-ish kind of event for me.

The first day was kind of bitin for me because we just attended the seminar in the morning due to our review class in the afternoon. However, I heard that the people in the morning eventually became extinct as the sessions progressed especially in the afternoon. Oh boy.

Well, it was pretty good, considering that we got to discover a lot of potential debaters. The people from the lower batches really did great and I hope I did improve.

So, people. Watch out for us because we'll be joining tourneys and we'll be organizing our varsity to become the best. (ahay. how i wish.)

I totally detest a lot of people right now.

Now let me paint you this picture(sorry, i'm really bad at art). Imagine that you're the one that I'm talking to.

People claim they're leaders and are practically good at anything but then their words are proofs of nothing. Well, smack yoh ass because it's full of shit. Your facade has been running for too long it has got to stop. You actually hurt a lot of people along the way.

Talk if you're asked to and shut up when you're going to say nothing good. Follow my advice and people will eventually learn to appreciate your existence. You've been blacklisted my so-called friend. So puhlease, don't even try to argue because you don't know anything about the art of persuasion contrary to how you appear to know so.

Remember: Hard work always pays off for people who strive hard and aspire to be better at their chosen craft. Some people may not be good in a lot of things, but it's still better than actually claiming that you're good in all things but the truth is, you're just a lousy, immature and insecure person who can't do anyting but popularize herself.

So please. I beg to oppose to whoever you appear to be as who you're not.

College or something like it.

Hayup. Sabi ko na nga ba, it won't be too long before I surrender to math. Grabe yung post-test kanina.

Not long ago, (2 months to be exact), my classmates and I were seriously debating on where we were going to take our review classes. Popular options were the All-Up review offered by our school but the venue was in St. Paul Manila, Vienna, MSA, . . . and of course, the Philacademic Review which we chose after 10 years.

For the past weeks, I have been taking review classes every week, during Mondays and Thursdays. Within that span of time, I have managed to achieve a hell lof of things, one of which is commuting alone from here at home to Taft and going back.


Doing this stuff has made me realize how the world will look like after I leave St. Paul.

When I was still a freshman, my dream school was "The" (as some people would like to put it) Ateneo. I was an all-out supporter of the Ateneo Blue Eagles in every season of the UAAP. One of my teachers back then was Sir F, who taught Consumer's Math, and guess where he is now? He's currently a Math professor at the said prestigous university.

As time went on, I got a little ambitious and I was beginning to write UP on top of my where-I-want-to-be-in-college list. I was exposed to a lot of people from UP and I was really impressed with all of what they have to say I mean, in terms of. . . I don't know how to say it. Sure, it's a really good thing if a person will aspire for UP because of its quality education and despite its milieu, but the thing is, it's not as easy as it looks like. Taking the UPCAT can be a real hassle and filling out your app forms can be really tricky. You have to consider your course (settle for a non-quota one if you want to avoid the inevitable competition,hehehe), you also have to take note of the campus you want to pass in because each has a throbbing cut-off grade, UP Manila (contrary to what I thought) having the highest one. Diliman has the second highest cut-off grade, then LB, the last in Luzon then the next will be the provincial campuses. You also have to study the criteria or the basis of how they will admit you as a "Scholar ng Bayan" and man, that's really tough. It'll make your nose bleed and the next thing you know you'll be rubbing you nose hard on a stone it'll be rubbed raw, flesh and blood. Eww. The thought of it makes me sick. Pardon this figure of speech. hehehehe:)

Then again, there's also La Salle. I don't really agree with the fact that I'm the Archer type of girl, but I can also foresee my self on the grounds of this university.

Right here waiting for no one.

It really gets tedious trying to wait for the right man to come.

It's like I'm a curbside prophet waiting for my rocket to come. Sheezzle. Mag-ala Jason Mraz daw ba.

Okay. A lot of things have been happening lately. As far as I know, I've been so up and giddy to write stuff here in my blog (with my xanga left abandoned). Errm...

I've been really paranoid lately, trying to amuse myself with the things I need to accomplish. But it does really really get tiring not having someone to come home to(anu yun? husband?). O wel, not really.

Maybe I just miss the feeling of having a bestfriend and a lover. You know, having someone by your side who cheers you up when you feel all crappy, someone whom you have endless conversations with and makes you feel worse when you're having a bad hair day.

Writing abou this makes it harder to face the fact that I've been alone for a while. And while challenging myself to have a relationship this senior year does no good, I just try to act as professionally as I could.

***note: The background music is Tell Me Where It Hurts.

Errrm. Note to self: Focus, focus, focus. I ahve entrusted this tiny problem to The Almighty. I just always pray "Thy will be done". But please. . . :(

Oh well. There's a reason for everything, I guess.

To the one whom I've asked to visit my blog.

It's funny how we think that life is unfair and that nature has a really eerie way of including us in the "natural order of things".

The past has to be forgotten.
The present has to be treasured.
The future has to be prepared for.

True enough. But not entirely.

The past is what links us to what beings we are today.

***Okay, enough of this mind game.


Bittersweet. A lot of people has used that to describe their feelings for a person whom they like, but they can never have.

I'm addicted to coffee. Caffeine or the likes of it. There are certain times when I really crave for coffee especially when I can't have it. Too bad.

Starbucks, Seattle's Best, The Coffee Experience, Gloria Jean's. . . Those are my bestfriends. I pretty much make lucrative business easier for the coffee-making industry.

Then, came you.

The nice, perfectly imperfect yet addictive you.

I would've never expected for someone to come by as easily. Kept me in a trance and left me in pain. I was thrilled with the fact that I can finally have someone to call. . .

***whoosh***

That's how you left me. . .
Hanging, suspended. . . in whatever way you wanted to relinquish yourself from the pathways which have crossed us to be at this place.

I don't know. I'm just morbid.

***post ka lng ng comment pag nabasa mo na. if i don't hear from you, i won't even bother. thanks for all the things that you've shared.:)
This isn't the last.

The thing with writing.

It's quite a shame that I have my blog but I have limited things to write about. Not that I'm really lazy to write, I have posts which say "tbc" but then I never get the chance to get back to them and finish them. It's not also a matter of the time when I'm conditioned to write stuff, like when I choose to stay online yet I just answer surveys in friendster and I don't open my blog. Nonetheless, my mind is filled with thoughts. Haaay, how logical. I mean, my mind is too congested with thoughts and my time is too filled up with things to do that I barely find time to even buy new books, curl up and read them.

But what the heck, I'm doing things which are for my career and I know all will turn out well. Maybe I'm just psyched up with the fact that when I open other people's blogs, there are lots of stuff written on 'em. Well anyway, this is my online journal so back off! Haaay.

I was once a great writer, minus the perfect grammar and the number of people who will read my thing and agree with what I have to assert. I write what I want to, everything that's welling up inside me.

But right now, the great writer had to have her summer escapade. Ima be back soon. I give you my writer's word.