I was with my good friend Bea today and we were both sort of nostalgic about our old (well not really old) friends back in high school. We started talking about how great we felt whenever they're around - just because they don't seem to get on your nerves by rubbing in your face how much weight you gained over the last couple of months or how hooker-like your hair has grown to be since the last time you hung out.
Add to that list is their seemingly detached lifestyles from the current wave of weight obsession and pretentious ordeals. They just get down to the gory details of the bad breakup or the flunking grade or the shameless breakdown that you've kept welling deep inside you for so long. What's good about it is that they listen - no interruptions, no interjections, no side comments, no awful remarks, no homilies, no "I told you so", no judgments - but all ears and good company with hugs and tears along the way. After everything, it seems as if you haven't been apart and then you just party and laugh everything away.
Because if you really think about it, it's the little good things that our true friends manage to say that surely help us feel better. Yes at some point you do value a bit of honesty and confrontations, but you do that when days don't really harp on the negative vibes, when you can just say and do what you want without having to worry about what other people will say.
A friend is a friend who hides behind false pretenses when she always always succeeds in picking out the bad things. Because then, it shows that she doesn't get to appreciate the minute things that make you and your friendship special. She just wants you there as a point of comparison so that she'd feel less insecure about herself or more superior as a person. If she constantly thrives to be the center of attention, or the queenbee of all sorts of things that she wants to own up to whenever you spend time together, not only do you have a pseudo-friend but also a narcissistic mixed tape who just can't seem to shut the hell up. Tactless yes, annoying even.
And the truth is, a friend's psyche shouldn't be designed as such. Because a friend is supposed to be someone who is your source of strength and consolation, someone who understands and looks past your shortcomings. She doesn't crucify you before you even commit a sin and doesn't try to change your values and your principles. A friend listens to your troubles, no matter how trivial they may be and gives you her sincere and honest opinion only when you ask her to. She doesn't turn things around to fit into her perspective but tries to put herself in your shoes in order to comprehend what really happened.
A real friend doesn't constantly nag you to do things or gloat about things that you are in no way capable of doing but suggests things that may interest you or fit your personality. This essential creature which every man can't live without sees you eye to eye and helps you love yourself for who you are - no matter what you did in the past, boosts you to do good in the present and chooses to stay with you in the future.
It is that vital chunk in you that a friend makes up for. You love yourself when you feel loved and appreciated. You admit your faults when you know that another soul is ready to share that pain with you. You strip yourself naked of all the lies you want to get rid of, only if you can share an oath with someone who can keep them better. You do your best and feel that you are the best when someone is there to constantly remind you of what you can do and what you can offer.
And these are the things that we miss about out old friends. Let's all sit down and have coffee, shall we? :)
Add to that list is their seemingly detached lifestyles from the current wave of weight obsession and pretentious ordeals. They just get down to the gory details of the bad breakup or the flunking grade or the shameless breakdown that you've kept welling deep inside you for so long. What's good about it is that they listen - no interruptions, no interjections, no side comments, no awful remarks, no homilies, no "I told you so", no judgments - but all ears and good company with hugs and tears along the way. After everything, it seems as if you haven't been apart and then you just party and laugh everything away.
Because if you really think about it, it's the little good things that our true friends manage to say that surely help us feel better. Yes at some point you do value a bit of honesty and confrontations, but you do that when days don't really harp on the negative vibes, when you can just say and do what you want without having to worry about what other people will say.
A friend is a friend who hides behind false pretenses when she always always succeeds in picking out the bad things. Because then, it shows that she doesn't get to appreciate the minute things that make you and your friendship special. She just wants you there as a point of comparison so that she'd feel less insecure about herself or more superior as a person. If she constantly thrives to be the center of attention, or the queenbee of all sorts of things that she wants to own up to whenever you spend time together, not only do you have a pseudo-friend but also a narcissistic mixed tape who just can't seem to shut the hell up. Tactless yes, annoying even.
And the truth is, a friend's psyche shouldn't be designed as such. Because a friend is supposed to be someone who is your source of strength and consolation, someone who understands and looks past your shortcomings. She doesn't crucify you before you even commit a sin and doesn't try to change your values and your principles. A friend listens to your troubles, no matter how trivial they may be and gives you her sincere and honest opinion only when you ask her to. She doesn't turn things around to fit into her perspective but tries to put herself in your shoes in order to comprehend what really happened.
A real friend doesn't constantly nag you to do things or gloat about things that you are in no way capable of doing but suggests things that may interest you or fit your personality. This essential creature which every man can't live without sees you eye to eye and helps you love yourself for who you are - no matter what you did in the past, boosts you to do good in the present and chooses to stay with you in the future.
It is that vital chunk in you that a friend makes up for. You love yourself when you feel loved and appreciated. You admit your faults when you know that another soul is ready to share that pain with you. You strip yourself naked of all the lies you want to get rid of, only if you can share an oath with someone who can keep them better. You do your best and feel that you are the best when someone is there to constantly remind you of what you can do and what you can offer.
And these are the things that we miss about out old friends. Let's all sit down and have coffee, shall we? :)
2 comments:
Thanks for being one of my greatest, friends. AWWWWW BEHBEH. hug! hehe. ;-)
I totally agree. ;)
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