And then the most romantic part of my day was over, just like that.

Dear Santa,

This will probably be weird for you, receiving a letter from a frustrated girl 2 months earlier than the universal time agreement on gift requesting. But since you're the closest thing I can imagine next to a friendly unjdugmental papa figure who's been literally around the world, can I please ask you to be one of my confidantes just this one time? Okay, here goes. Belt out.

Santa, I'm sad and broke and I don't know what to do in the coming week - how the hell I am going to juggle all the things that I'm supposed to accomplish (with utmost excellence) without losing my sanity in the process. All I could think of now is to grab a book, flop down on my bed and READ. And because it's timely I guess, Santa, why does every bookstore have to practically scream Twilight Saga on its window display? Wrong timing for Breaking Dawn to be released this month I guess. Or wrong timing for my hell week to barge in my peaceful string of obsessions. If I may first add to my basket of goodies, I would like to have the complete series of the book please. You can give it to me as a reward since I've been very good at suppressing any urges to forego studying and just read read read. :)

Another thing. So I was sitting on one of the school benches this Friday. This guy whom I haven't talked to for the longest 3 weeks of my life suddenly wanted the attention and decided to call out my name. To... bring up a topic he'd ever so predictably choose in order to save himself the small talk. Why do guys like those Santa? What happened to the witty, smart, awfully good-looking, humble and gentle guys that your factory used to make? Would it be much to ask for one decent guy who'll sweep me off my feet? It's not really pressing Santa, nothing really serious. It would be good to come across a guy like that for a change.

I would also like to have good grades by the end of the semester so everything will finally pay off. Please Santa. It would help me so much to know that all my efforts don't go to waste. My friends and I agreed how much of a challenge Junior year seems to be proving itself. The stress, the cigarettes, the Matteo campouts, the food binging, the lashing out - there can never be enough proofs for this. It would be comforting to know that everything's well-deserved and worth it. I'd like more coffee to go with that, and more will power to resist the smocket as much as I can.

Lastly, my list doesn't really end here Santa. But I hope I can write you again sometime. Because I have more requests. I know I'm sounding like a spoiled inconsiderate brat. But I really think I deserve to have these. LALALALALA.


<3,
Daryll


HAHAHAHA. :)) Okay study away now.

Be back before sunrise.

Yummy. :)

'Cos I think I will literally have to put off my essential need for sleep in the coming week. Let's take a glimpse of what's ahead shall we?

September 1 - 5, 2008

a. Monday [8:00-8:10 ] - Philo orals
b. Tuesday [1:50 - 2:20] - CS 30 oral defense
c. Wednesday [6:00 to 7:30] - Cs30 Midterms (the forever damned test. HAHAHA. It's a sign not to push through with it)
d. Thursday [4:30 to 7:30 ] - Polsci Midterms
e. Friday [5:50 to 6:00] - Theo orals

- a treat for every delightful day of the week. :)

Props to Sir Gabby for moving the 3rd pass of Marketing originally set on Saturday. One less thing to worry about.

Talk about the mother of all HELL WEEKS. Not only that, an event after and more more more deadlines. The bad news: no side reading for me. I don't have any license to hold a book unless it's a Philosophy book or a POS reading.

The good news: I don't think there's any. :)) But oh well.

Wish me luck. <3

Is getting some.

In many aspects, I would consider myself a very frustrated writer trying to imitate the styles I'd become familiar with upon reading various books, applying them to my blogs, any other existing forms of doodling and whatnot. And since I am quite sure that the person behind me (here in Matteo) is snigggering at the site of my blogging cahoots, (thanks to my ginormous LCD display of a laptop) I think I may cut this lame attempt to sound like Bella of Twilight or the mysterious Gossip Girl. HAHAHA.

So what have I been up to lately? Nothing much. I've been pretty cooped up since I decided to join the bandwagon and embrace the hysteria myself. YES, just like every year when I go on a hiatus and ceremonious crashing, I tip myself off a great deal of overdose when it comes to my flair of addictions. Last year it was Gilmore Girls (which took me a long time to forget until I was eventually strong enough to keep those dvds away) and now this year, thanks again to my good friend Teptep, it's Stephenie Meyer's bestselling novel since 2005, Twilight series.

Hence the cliche: My exact brand of heroin.

And what's really been up and going about this is the fact that I've found myself another distraction (and the last thing that I need is one) that will keep me totally insane for the weeks to come. It's like having a multiply personality disorder wherein I battle among all the persons that I have to be and want to be. On the one hand, I have to prioritize and attend to all my responsibilities and on the other, I just want to lock myself up and be absorbed by the story. Of course at this point I would have to embrace the casualties of almost always being a full-pledged loner, having to do things on my own and occasionally miss the hype of being social, and all. But what's the worse could happen, if not self-inflicted depression bourne out of the absence of another sane being to converse with? Hmmm.

I have: 2 oral tests (Philo and Theo), a midterm exam (in Pol.Sci.), a 3rd pass (in Marketing) and an oral defense (for CS 30). This is rather a chunky feat for me to handle with two bare hands. So I don't know how, or in any other way, I could combat the urge of storming the bookstore and buying the complete series and bury myself along with it.

Just like I did the whole weekend. Let me just say that engrossment is a total understatement. I've been mesmerized, smitten, dazzled at how a novel could be intricately written, enough to sweep off the reader's feet. Coincidentally, a hopeless romantic like me can't help but be stuck in the realms of alternate reality that this love story can provide, wishing a thousand times that I could just be in the shoes of Bella and that I could find my own Edward.

Or something like that. While the idea might be compelling, staying hooked on this night and day is causing me some form of life disorder, driving me more insane by the minute.

Teptep started her own hysteria months ago and I ended up ignoring it because I actually thought I had better things to do. But oh, that fateful Saturday night when I decided to ditch a party thrown by someone so close to my heart, I started leafing through the pages and ended up bringing the book home. And there it started.

Could you blame me if I choose to isolate myself and focus on getting over this phase in the meantime? Ha ha ha. It's like one among the others. A sudden addiction that's definitely going to make my heart overpalpitate in the extreme. And how much time I would allow this to consume me, I'm not quite sure unless I muster enough resistance to blur the lines between reality and the other world.

LOL. I must be freaking myself out. :)

There's a movie for this you know. I've only read the first book - 3 more to go: New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn and Stephenie Meyer's up and coming Twilight from Edward's point of view (whose rough first chapter I was able to read) Midnight Sun. I'm sure I'll get over this once I finish reading the 4th. God please help me resist the claws of evil just for the coming two weeks so I could focus on my event and academics.

Unlike Bella who's risking her life for the man she loves, I'm very much ordinary than her to the point of tediousness. I haven't found my Edward, or anything that's even a quarter of what he's supposed to be.

Most importantly, I have a super mortal life to live. The one that can't afford to be compromised over a really overwhelimg book, no matter how great it is.
YOWN.<3

Books, bestfriends, booze and best days make me beeery happy.

1. KTV
2. BOOZE
3. WORK
4. PANEL INTERVIEW
5. WORK
6. STAY OVER
7. WHITE CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE
8. RAINY DAYS
9. NO CLASS
10. BEST FRIENDS

and TWILIGHT.

I think I'm hyperventilating. <3 No parties just this yet. I'm just a novice at the obsession. Pictures and details soon. I don't think I'll be glued to the laptop for a while.

Bust it babyyy.

Today because I failed to get any decent amount of eye shut, the skies allowed me time to buffer and get a hold of myself by pouring in a heavy amount of rain. And as if that wasn't enough, I wasn't able to muster enough energy to visit the vendo and buy myself my regular dose of caffeine, so it rained harder.

So, this morning while cramming tidbits of information in my head in preparation for my midterm exam in CS30, classes were proclaimed suspended.

You know the usual. There wasn't any real storm after all. (Or at least it didn't affect Metro Manila as much as it did in the Northern provinces.) Therefore the day went on with the draggy and damp atmosphere of the rain and cold winds. I was left with literally no one and nothing but my things - a pile of POS readings and papers waiting to be read and written for a very welcoming deadline of tomorrow.

Worse, I just slept a huge portion of my afternoon away because I couldn't keep myself awake in front of my laptop whatever I tried to do.

Thank God for Mark - who was so jologs (hahaha labyew) he didn't know classes were suspended. He went to school to attend his theo class and upon finding out no one...

Ended up studying with me in Matteo. At least there was another human being that I could talk to. Beats having to suck it up while everyone was hurrying to get out of school, I was there stuck in the study hall doing errands.

Hurray for Bacon Mushroom Bits Jolly Hotdog and Crispy Fries. Haylav fastfeeewd.

Good thing is, I'm now back to my feet. Workaholism just seemed to have lagged and have taken a long long long time to reboot. Now I can feel the pressure the the hectic-ness that this lifestyle was supposed to bring from the very beginning.

Now I'm munching on a bar of hello (CALORIES. Watch out you feeling skinny ***ch.) - vanilla in choco - to jumpstart my sleepyhead alterego and help me course through the deliverables of tomorrow and accomplish everything in due time.

YEAHMEN. <3

Currently obsessing over...

YM conversations with the most random people.

AND

Getting flashbacks from Bora (Idon'teffingknowwhy).
Wanting caffeine this early.
Wallowing over the bleak possibility of downGRADES.

Excited to be plum girl tomorrow.
Now back to business.
ALAS. I'm not yet done poring over my midterm notes. :/

Am I allowed to banner any bit of profanity here? !^#*%&@!

CS = contemptible suffering.

Clutter.

It amazes me how, above all things, it's the clutter in my room that takes me forever to get rid of. I plan to clean my room every now and then but with a few successful attempts that make me disappointed in myself more and more. In the end, I just tend to scrap everything out and make do with all the stuff on my bed, my desk and on the floor...

Scenes of the crime. - sige okay lang maturn off kayo. Hahaha.

RIIIGHT.

And then I tried to analyze myself by any sublime means of psychological knowledge that I was able to take up in the last 5 years. Then it dawned on me, that perhaps this annoying delaying tactic related to my everyday trash doesn't only apply to the literal garbage that I own.

If that's the case then it actually makes sense. Now I have something else to blame this idiosyncrasy on. Hahaha. But seriously.

Think: the actual time that I allow this trash to take over my daily affairs is obstructing me from moving freely and letting new things come my way. - YOWN. Saktong philosophizing lang oh.

Maybe that's why I always feel so consumed and congested. It takes me too long to clean up. I don't know if it's choosing to stay stuck with the same pile of garbage - the paper works, the books, the wrappers, the plastics, along with the energy and time I spent on them; or if it's just the numbness that I found in time that I haven't managed to device a new game plan which would dispose all of these junk away.

It's getting a bit crowded in my room, in my heart. I think I need to let go of all the old stuff, the emotions and the thoughts.

I've reminded myself more than enough (stickies here and there) so I think there's no excuse for me to neglect doing this anytime soon.

I need to clean up.