Ticking off.

I have emerged as a productive person amidst the temptations to be bedridden and couch potato queen. Here's a list that I vowed to do this sem break. Haha. A lot is still pending. Wooohoo.

1. Room revamp
2. Shopping - done that but can never have enough.;p
3. Sleepover/Basagan night - tonight is THE night baby.
4. Date with hun - finally ugggh
5. Wall paintings
6. CV app for ABR
7. ICT Seminar
8. JGSOM Sportsfest stuff - yes. school work's still after me
9. lunch out, dinner out
10. shop for and read new books
11. dl new tunes
12. get copies of new series
13. beach!!!

Hmm. A bit lacking. Still more. Update soon.:)

Happy Halloween everyone.;)

Trick and Treat.

I can't even begin to describe how mundane the past week was. I didn't really get to go out much except when we bid farewell to Ria when she left for the States. The Core was all there and we met up at Lainey's house so that we could head to the airport more easily. Unfortunately, we had to waste a generous amount of time before we could find Ria because she was, apparently, being shipped off to the U.S. through the old airport. A crappier and much jologs airport. With the flags. Hahaha. Well how was I supposed to know? - TRICK

But all was well. We gave her a gift (a picture frame with the Core's picture taken by Cort's SLR some time during first sem - this started as a ...;p) and some cookies that she could munch on during her long long travel. After a number of pictures, some last-minute bilins and hugs, Ria was on her way to the other side of the world. Well, yeah we are time zones and continents apart now. We're so going to miss our Ria Fae.:( But it's going to be alright as long as we keep our promises to meet up in the future..;p

One last take.:)

Sanggu EvSem was even postponed because there were problems with the venue so I really was looking to the long weekend ahead.

On the brighter side of things, I had quite a fun weekend with my parents. I was getting so irritable the past week that I barely went out and didn't even have the energy to talk to some of my friends. I was the habitual late-sleeper (and almost didn't get any sleep for two days) and all I did was watch TV when I woke up. So you see, I was procrastinating my room project once again and the errands for the sleepover this week. Which explains the sudden cramming and busy weeks ahead. So anyway, Dad took my mom and I shopping last Saturday when he decided to bring us to Trinoma. Woah. First time. Hahaha. Of course being the Southerners that we are, we pretty much don't have any reason to travel all the way up to the North to be in a good mall. But after the bombing scare, well. Hahaha. We decided to expand our horizons, extend our options and try Trinoma just this once.

It was kinda okay. The exact replica of Glorietta if you ask me. There were typical shops but I guess there was a lot more to choose from. Mom and I were sort of in a tampuhan stage when after lunch, she asked me "Anong gusto mong bilhin?" and I was like, "Are you kidding?" Hahaha.;p Voila! Instant top, bag, shoes and accessories care of Daddy's wallet. I love my parents. I love being the daughter of my parents. Sunday was fun too since I accompanied my mom in buying Christmas decorations and a new bed spread for my guests this sleepover and we even ended up buying paintings for our plain walls here at home. - TREAT

Now all I gotta do is finish the errands and I'll be set. Although I'm quite booked for the remainder of the break. Heehee. Looking forward to my date with hun, seeing my HS friends on our Halloween party and partying again for Sis' birthday. Yaaay. Back in action.:p

Bad vibes.

I haven't been out for the past few days except for the times when I needed to. All I've had are cook shows, soaps, books and a pile of magazines. The time left is spent on chatting with friends, reg-ing online and sprucing up my pages in facebook and multiply. I have successfully pulled an attempt to 'declutter' my closet and get rid of the clothes which I don't wear and have no plans of wearing anytime in the future and I have updated my planner with my usual stuff and upcoming plans. Quite relaxing, really, since I do all of this after a long, long period of slumber.

And then the other day, it began to rain. It all started during that day - everything just kind of went wrong. First off, with the Sanggu SOM Board EvSem. I was really looking forward to going to the beach again and undergoing the leadership training. I know that this would be the exact opposite of Outback since I'm not with my friends and our activities don't include drinking booze and just swimming in the beach. The primary goal there is to do all Sanggu-related stuff yet in a really fun way. Plus, I heard that our beach house is not the normal luxury beach house, but more of like the scary type where lights go out and mosquitoes are abound. Sounds remotely exciting if you think about the challenges that we have to go through there. So anyway, I was super excited in joining this activity and even confirmed attendance to Sam when to my horror, we are supposed to meet in Mcdo Katip at freaking 5 am in the morning this Friday. It would be a nice thing to set to show a fair amount of discipline from the people who have committed to come to the event, but dude, I just can't. First because I don't drive my own car, second I have no driver who can bring me, third I only count on my dad and I'm sure there is no possible alternative world where he'd say yes and fourth because I live in the South already to just complicate things in exchange of practicality. Therefore, I am racking my brains now trying to come up with a reasonable plan so I can come to the activity with no hassle.

To top it all off, I was supposed to go shopping for my supplies today but since it's raining, I think I'd rather not.

Okay. Next thing on the list. My stupid online reg. I kinda did a certified bobo move when I misread my batch time. Turns out that I was supposed to have finished registering the other night pa. So that's why I was able to come break through the random number system. So I had to wait until this morning to finish due process and pray that I get enough slots for my sci 10 class. Bea and I didn't sleep yesterday morning just to get in an early start before traffic comes in when I realized that I wasn't able to log in my aisis account. Good job Daryll, really. But anyway, that's done now. I just robbed myself of a goodnight's sleep then.

And then Accounting. Omg. I can't even begin to think how the hell I am going to tell my parents that I'm repeating the horrid subject. I am just so depressed. To add to that sucky subject is the sucky schedule for the make up. Saturday class my ass!!! My sched this sem is not cooperating either. I have this three hour break on T-Th and a lunch-less class day on M-W-F. Gaaaah. :(

Anyway, I'm so fixing things right now. I have just arranged for the sleepover next week and I hope that's all fun. I wish it would stop raining just this week or just over the weekend so beach vibe will really start to make me feel better.:(

Loving the break.

Outback 2007

Can I just say? I am having a total blast with the start of my break. Why? Let my pictures tell you why. (Multiply)

Wooohooo! Outback was ten times more fun than what I expected. It was looove baby.:p I was actually scared that I had my hopes too high and the getaway wouldn't turn out as what we expected. But oh no, it was really really fun!

The nice roadtrip, the beach escapade, the fun gds (of course the relay game which made my body ache for 2 days), the beach volleyball, the quick night swim under the blanket of stars, the dinner, the booze and the college party by the pool, the dancing, the wasted people, the day after tan on the beach, the quick escape to Southwoods, the super duper extra fun water games and the tons of pictures that will serve as a testament to one of my best sembreaks ever. I looooove it!;p

The fun thing about it ladies and gentlemen, is that, it has just begun. The fun continues in the life of Daryll. Ayiheeee.<3

Sem break officially has started.

Whooopeeeee! I couldn't have asked for a better way to end the sem. ;p

Okay. My sleeopver at Laine's fairly worked. I enjoyed it and was able to breeze through the tests (except the last part in Econ. But it's alright.) And staying over at her house turned out to be a good idea since we were grouped together during our group final exam in Law. My problem with my grades is just a false alarm after all since I know some of my class standings already. They seem fine - although, I stress, that I could have done better throughout the semester. But hey, at least that's over. One more thing pala. O have my ID already! Yaaaay!:p No more hassle during reg!;p

After our last test, my dearly beloved friends and I hit Eastwood to grab dinner and watch a movie. Awww. What joy. Dinner at Fazoli's, was followed by Resident Evil Evolution (I really don't know why I have watched the 3 movies already. Hahaha;p) and then Ria treated us to a delightful indulgence of Brownie Temptation from Dairy Queen. Pictures galore to be posted soon.:)

The continuation of the bonding with the barkada was supposedly tonight at John's house party but due to conflicts with birthday celebrations, I was forced to stay at home. It was quite okay. I just bummed and watched tv. At least I got to go out this afternoon with my parents (who were both into shopping for appliances. Aaack.) and I was able to buy a couple of things for myself. Tomorrow, I'll be hitting the grocery store for my supplies on Monday - OUTBACK baby.;p

I guess I'm going to the team dinner and to Temple tomorrow night after all. Hmmm. Let's see. For now, I can't stop reading Shopaholic Takes Manhattan (the second installment of Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella) and I'm feeling the need to organize my closet. Hahaha.;p Hurray to a productive weekend.:)

I love it!:D

Feel good nostalgia.

Background: Long Way 2 Go by Cassie courtesy of Boys Night Out

I had an inexplicably fun day today. Maybe because I had great time with my friends. :)

Okay. Here's a snippet. We (meaning Kara and I) planned for a surprise thing for our dear friend Jamie because she turned 18 last Sunday. And since she didn't have a party of her own, we decided to throw one for her. It was pretty simple - just cake, doughnuts, flowers and of course, pizza since we had the surprise at Yellow Cab in front of the dingy La Salle area.

We had help from Mae, who invited Jamie's close friends from her block and in the latter part of eating time, the Paulinian community grew bigger with the addition of Engkay, Jackie and Jentots to Mae, Mita, Kara and I!:)

Happy birthday my Langgam.:)

I guess some things just turn up when you do something that's good for the heart. Oooh grabe. We reminisced so much that we barely felt the time pass. Unlucky however, for some of us are in lieu of finals week so we had to head our butts home.

Oh well. Two more days to go.

Overnight heartbreak.

When you say overnight heartbreak, it doesn't really mean that you've gotten over it already. For me, the nightmare just started. I guess what I really mean by the title is how the acquisition of the heartbreak happened overnight. So yeah. That's pretty much a disclaimer for the title.

It's a Sunday.

My weekends are usually my outlet from the long, stressful and exhausting week. It's a Sunday and I still feel the same feeling which has crept up on me for the past few days. I'm so restless and I'm yearning for a really relaxing break. I just have this week to go through. After which, I am off to sem break paradise.

But that wasn't the highlight or downlight of this weekend, I should say.

Truth is, I don't want to talk about it.

I'm just really sad - unlike how other people think of my current situation. I haven't stopped thinking about it since I woke up today. It's just a sad thing that I'm experiencing such a low point in my life. Hopefully, I will be able to get over this and move on. And I'm not only talking about the relationship that ended. I'm also considering all the other things which have gotten me depressed for the past few months. Yes? Yes.

Things will indefinitely change. And it's all my fault. Everything is my fault. Now I have to get used to this and just hope that I will be able to get by.

*Sigh*

I have nothing to write anymore. Kanina, my head was clouded with thoughts. I suddenly felt numb.

This isn't who I really am.

It's time to get serious.

People rise together, when they believe in tomorrow. Change today for forever. 'Cause life keeps moving. - Samantha James, Rise

Speaking of this song, it's one of the fewest house hits that I like. As in really really like. I have it in my itunes, I have it in my phone and I can't stop listening to it whenever I have the chance to. But anyway, that's not the point of this entry. This is a short contemplation of my regression as a person. Here goes, ladies and gentlemen.

I was informed to have my Aisis online account activated before traffic starts and every student in Ateneo attempts to activate his account in vain. Well you know how online registrations work. At some point, the eliminated hassle of having to fall in lines and waiting for x hours becomes the lesser evil when you're dealing with internet traffic and overloading in the system. Duh. You wouldn't want to wait for a page to load for 20 minutes right?

Anyway. Not my point again. Okay Daryll. Nice style. Okay. So I was browsing my Aisis account and just for the heck of it leafed (parang magazine) through my sched and my freshman grades. Not bad. Although you have to admit, it was mediocrity at its best. Okay, you had to cut me some slack because last year was supposedly my period for adjusting to the college vibe. It was the start of another phase, a major foray. A couple of C's and C+'s were still acceptable. D's were still tolerable too. F's were (and will forever be) a no-no. However you put it, there was this excuse which allowed the 'faring on the average' to a certain extent.

My cumulative qpi was not bad for the average person. But I know I could have raised my expectations and standards a notch higher. I wasn't really disappointed though the thought of doing better was really my goal for the succeeding year.

Sophomore year - majors year, hell year. First sem - hell sem. Many a students survived the claws of this evil torture. However dear fellows, I am one among the people on the brink.

Thing is, I haven't really felt disappointed in my life as much as I do now. I haven't performed so poorly in my academics since I could remember. And to top it all off, I just had to do it this semester. I don't know why. Was it because of my attachment to sleep? To my bed? Or was I not good enough? Perhaps I wasn't as smart and as hard working that I thought I was. Did I run short of intellect? What? Am I tired? I can't be tired.

*Sigh* I see people acing tests and getting grades that are like so high and I see the same people complain about how their grades aren't high enough. Hello? Ano pa kaya yung standing ko ngayon? Gaaaah. I feel so bad. It's like things suddenly fell out of my control. I tried to seize the opportunities in any way that I could but to no avail.:(

I never used to worry about grades because I was getting the ones I deserved anyway. This decline in my improvement has just contributed to my lack of motivation to work. So I take it the other way and work my ass off because I refuse to let this struggle let me down. Because this is not me. Work and stress are like my kind of thing. Workaholic maniac was a title I pretty much earned for myself even when I was in grade school. I didn't have a problem in meeting people's expectations of me, because if there's anything that I did, I always tried to surpass them - and eventually succeeded in doing so. I was the responsible one. I was able to prove a lot of things about my principles and capabilities as a person.

Now, I feel dumb, mediocre, average, stupid, lazy, irresponsible. And I freaking don't know why. Maybe because it's the saturation of all the smart people in Ateneo. Or maybe I'm just not good enough to meet the demands of the university. Oh asa pa.

To cancel out this misery, I had a fairer share of fun this sem than I did last year. I guess my solitary studying in the library at that time paid off more. And I just had to do that because I didn't have my barkada then. But did I have too much fun? Like way too much fun that I forgot to fulfill my duties as a student?

Moving on. I know it really is too late to make up for this screwed semester. I don't really know what happened to me. I've been living such a good life - and yeah, not arguing that it really is better than last year's, yet I seem to be having more of these impertinent issues plaguing my well-being. My exhaustion has made me incapable of channeling my frustrations towards something productive. What's tough about it is that I let it get to me that's why I barely had the time to stop and think about how I have been doing with regard to my work.

My drive for leadership hasn't wavered. Thank God. I'm still proud to have launched a couple of successful projects and activities this past semester. But it would be really nice to feel good about the course card that I'm going to get this November.

Why? Don't worry. I'm an advocate of the 'grades aren't everything' belief. I'm not mourning because the lack of A's and B's is an eyesore in the course card. I'm disappointed because this is a reflection of my discipline as a person - of my ability to be consistent, of my drive to reach my goals. These are the things which I have been doing for the past 18 years of my life. Sure, all of us will experience failure at one point. But I could've stood up sooner. I could've done something.

Pointless? I think not. I know that I have woken up from this nightmare. I mean, c'mon. I've always been good not because I find satisfaction in bragging about it to other people, but because I've always (as much as possible) exerted my best when it comes to doing my craft. And this is so because I don't know. I was raised this way. I've always believed that I was destined for greatness; and because this is what makes me happy, what makes my heart healthy, my soul restful and my aura glowing. (Wtf.)

Never mind. For now, it's finals and then a little break that will hopefully wash away the negative vibes. And then after a month, I'm off to excellence once again. :)

Outback here I come.
Shopping. Sleepovers. More outings.
Gilmore Girls.
Friends. Family.
Sem break.

Turning point.

Oh how she marveled on her spot. The pedestal was a place she only used to dream of. And now, it was her time to be her own paramount, her own reality. She worked so hard to reach this. She went through restless nights, melancholic solitude and agonistic moments. But now, up here in the pedestal where she can take a glimpse of the whole world and its wonders, everything has condensed into a shapeless mass of nothingness.

Staring hard into oblivion, she blinks and fights the tears back. She has never felt this emptiness. How could she have misread the signs? Why did her intuitions deceive her? Why did she have to come here thinking that this was the response to her longing for perpetual bliss?

Slowly, she begins to crumble. Everything around her seems to be revolving. It suddenly becomes pitch-black. With a thud, she falls to her feet.

She wakes up from the icy pang of the floor. Her throat dry, her heart weary and miserable. She now understands that she doesn't belong here.

This wasn't her quest. It is not too late to go back and start anew. She has reached the turning point.