Whatta. Nice birthday...not!

I have never ever imagined myself on a summer vacation morning sitting in front of the computer and typing an entry for my blog. Taena kse.

Last Tuesday was killer practice. Nice. I survived the circuit and heto nanaman kme sa 5-1 play and the free ball play ek2.

Yesterday, we decided to have pizza delivered here at home and socy, Yellow Cab. My bhi, Reg was bugging me to buy wine or some alcoholic drink to perk things up. At first I hesitated, seeing her so high because she took *****m. But then, it was vetoed. I lost, 2 is to one. I'm actually surprised that I don't have much of a hangover even after I...

We bought 4 bottles of pulang kabayo and mixed it with strawberry and iced tea (the only things we could whip up) and I had to drink 8 glasses of it because they challenged my coming of age. Hello???

Then they bought 2 more and i had to drink another 2 glasses without any juice. Man was I so tipsy. Being the
good girl in the group whenever we have inuman sessions and being the light drinker that i was, i immediately felt nauseaus after 5 glasses and started vommiting in front of Chuba, Reg's dog. Then I told them stories which I can't even remember and I had to go back and forth teh bathroom for at least 5 times.

When I got home, I went staright to bed and guess what after an hour? I had allergies. Tangina allergic ako sa alcohol. GRRR. So, apparently, that's why I'm still up this morning. Parang hindi nga ko tlga natipsy eh, because I'm somewhat normal......Ewan ko, I still feel dizzy and all pero I think it's the mind over matter. Ano??? Basta un.

This is how I started the first day I turned 16. A senior high school student, the SCC officer, the aspiring school paper editor, the passionate debater, the devoted lead vocals of the batch band, the solid dancer of the tangerine team and God knows what. Acheche. Ano na ba to.................

The L word. No, not lesbian.

Remind me again why I'm posting this, when there is no chance ever that he will read this blog?

For you.


I thought it was perfect.
Over the years, I didn’t give a straight answer
Thinking that someday he’d know how much it meant
I just wish I didn’t have to let go even if I didn’t exactly asked for him to stay
But I still hoped he lingered on that day

Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be
Time is enough reason

No one is to blame
It could be me
It could be you

It’s just like that, or is it???


Again.

A thousand words can never defy what we had
A thousand things have been put to compromise
A thousand people have gone along the way
A thousand times I tried to hold on
A thousand miles have kept us apart
A thousand tears have fallen from these swollen eyes
A thousand reasons why I chose to hold on

For all but one

Who was no one

All because I thought it was you.

I just don't get it.

He's so complicated. Why can't we just have a normal conversation? I feel like I'm being too quizzical, asking him about stuff, bringing out pragmatic issues which he obviously doesn't want to talk about. Argh. Boys grow up too slow. Why can't he just bring up topics to discuss instead of escape with a one liner saying... Then, after that, he won't reply to calls and texts anymore, like he did for the rest of the school year after he thought i rejected him.

I feel pathetically stupid.


Well, I guess I'm trying to be
Nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove
I'm fine without you
But in reality,
I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath a disguise of a smile
Gradually, I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

2 days, I still am counting.

Two days before my sixteenth birthday and I still don't know what to do on Wednesday. I'm choosing between staying at home and have my friends come over for pizza or treat them to the mall, like we did last year.

I thought today could be something for a change because a "close" friend of mine invited me out as a treat for my birthday. I don't know what happened to her. Hmmmmmmm. So much for that. I guess things will never change.

Yesterday was nothing special. We just went to Market!Market! ate out, shopped and then went to Church. My prayers on not having Vball training was granted.Ü

I'm so lame. I've got things to do than sit around, worrying if "he" is mad at me.

Wow.

Today, was no ordinary. We finally went out, as a family.

We went to Church, then we had an early dinner at Mongkok in Glorietta, bought groceries in Landmark and i bought extra shirts. Guess what's up for tomorrow, a beauty treatment in a salon. My mom finally got a grip and agreed to come with us. Now, we're a happy family. Wow. This is indeed a miracle.

Can't get enough of Gilmore Girls.

One episode a week is enough to get me hooked in this series. Well, I've been missing two episodes lately so i think i deserve the treat. Today was "the" day of my Gilmore Girls days. It was a 9-episode marathon. I didn't take a bath nor eat for the 9 hours.

How I wish my life was more like I myself is a Gilmore. I envy Rory Gilmore, her relationship with her mom, her grandparents, her relationship with Dean, Jess or Logan for that matter, her school life and everything around her which seems so perfect. Well, not really perfect but I'd rather that I live in that kind of life than struggle in this...

Talk about a bad case of being hooked on those ficitonal series. Well I can be Rory in most kinds of ways. I just need all the help I can get to be able to pull off the stunts in my life. I'm actually happy, (though not at the moment) with all that's happening and all that's in store for me in the coming days of my life. I just wish...

Hmmmmmm. It feels good, having to sit around all day for a feel-good series marathon. Tomorrow is gonna be 7th Heaven. I still feel bad about not having to go on vacation, although it's partially my fault why we didn't get to go out today, twas because of the marathon. But anyway. I hope tomorrow will be a good one.

Who am I kidding?!?

A load of crap. That's how I feel at the moment. In fact, I think this is how I'd feel for the rest of this summer vacation. Why do I always have to feel like this before my birthday?!?

Okay, so the dream vacation for tomorrow has to be ruined by everyone. My dad's asking me to ask my cousins, talk to my titos and titas to my lolo and lola...why not he?!? Why do i have to be the one? It's sooooooooooooo.

And my mom, who whenever i sit by the phone, constantly nags me about my dad who has to go to all my school affairs. I mean, give me a friggin' break.

And my brother who's just naturally doing his job to piss me off.

My dad just gggggrrrrrrr. Freaks me out. He just constantly has this habit to go to the computer and check on me once in a while and tells me, "Yang friendster2 na yan, baka maloko ka jan ah..." It's like slamming to my face that I'm an imbecile. Doesn't he realize that I'm no computer addict and that the reason I'm always sitting in front of the computer is because I've nothing else to do? Think about, my mom, who apparently complains that there's too much noise when I talk to someone on the phone, or that it's noisy when i watch tv in the living room. Well how about it, why is she sleeping in the living room anyway?

And my dad, who just gets on my nerves. I can't watch tv because of the both of them so please let me be? I'm not like my brother who has a lot of indoor activities.

This is too lame. My dad, who is too lazy to drive all the way up to Pampanga, tells me that we'll go some place else. And what's the point of that if I'm going with one who's too tired to drive, another perosn who pisses me off and leaving my mom behind in this "family vacation"?

Grabe talaga. Hands down to this family. I can't believe that this is going to happen right before my 16th birthday. I mean, I'm not wishing for this to happen in any day because i wish that this won't happen at all. But then again, I once thought that this family was something it never will be again-perfect.


I would like to kill myself please.

grrr.

The blog I posted yesterday could not be posted. I wonder why that is.

So here I am today, i mean this evening. If you can see me, I'm wasted as i type this entry. I just came from Vball traing and it was harsh as ever. We had to kill ourselves over some stupid bet on winning Gatorade. It was pretty lame but i guess i got to burn some cal.

I don't know. I'm too tired to think. I wish this can be posted.

summer hassles.

Sheesh. It's the holy week already and my dad says we'll go to Pamapanga on Thursday. I really hope we'll go there and spend the rest of the week with my relatives. The thing i need now is as summer breakthrough. Last year it was a get away in Alabang(?!), then Bulacan, then Cavite. My dad says it's about time we got to Puerto Galera or to Bora, but i think it's too early for that, considering the stuff that i have going on and my brother's not yet finished with his finals.

I am really stuck with a decision to make between my app for school paper editor and vp of the debsoc. Grrrr?!?! All the paperworks still haven't left me alone. I am still currently doing some action plans.

I hope this summer's gonna be different. We're trying to finalize the plans for my birthday. We're going to taft on the 30th itself and we might drop by CSB to check on some things. It's about time we see him again.

it's been too long.

Really. I've been posting blogs like everywhere. I've got 5 posts in hi5 and my good ones in my space. Well anyway.

A lot has happened ever since. I don't know where my blog about the nashdc went but i'm sure i put it here, somewhere...

I've been extremely busy lately. As in. I don't know how I did it but somehow, I managed. After the nashdc, we went straight back to our classes without having to take much of the departmental long tests because we were given exemptions. It doesn't really mean we'd get perfect scores but I sure hope my teachers gave reasonable ones. And then, the dreaded scc interview came. I wasn't actually dreading it as it came as surprise. I was taking my special exam in genetics when I was suddenly called for "the" scc interview. I didn't exactly know why because i didn't know that i was even nominated. I felt kind of stupid for that and thank God that it went well.
Then the convention followed after that. Then the elections, then i won as treasurer...

After that was the hassle for the finals and all. I was kinda sad when kelly told me that we wouldn't be able to have the interaction with claret. I was actually looking forward to it because...

Then we were busy for the recognition program, Maann and I emceed it and I think it went well. I just wan't able to bear Mrs. Lee's hysterical antics before the program even started. whew!

After the program, my friends and I (Maann, Kara, Ria) sleptover at Ria's house in Cavite. Well, sort of a despedida soiree. We planned all of our activites ahead just to make sure there'll be no glitches. Gladly, we had fun. We went to ATC right after the recog proram and had Ria's parents bring all our stuff to their house. It was really a hassle. But according to Ria it was quite alright.:) Then we watched Hitch and had a group pic. We went home at around 11.

We actually stayed up late to have a foodfest. Well, not really. We were taking turns in taking baths so we just had food and then watched tv...:) We slept at like 2 in the morning.

Next up, we agreed to wake up at 9:30 but we did otherwise. We woke up half an hour earlier because Ria's mom woke us up. She said the clubhouse was opened by then and that we had to get an early start if we don't want many kids invading the pool. Well anyway, we arrived there with some people already and we left an hour later with lots of kids in the pool.

We shopped during the rest of the afternoon at ATC and i had my blow-out at Shakey's. hahahaha. We bought clothes and other stuff. I wish I hadn't hesitated in buying 2 diff colors of spandex. hmmm. Well anyway, we went home in the evening reallllly happy.

I called up Ria friday night to check on her. I will really miss her. But no big, she's going back on april 18 and I'll see her then.

The HS grad was yesterday. There were definitely a lot of hugs, kisses and tears. Boy, will i miss their batch.

Well that's it for now. This week's the Holy week and i hope to get some rest. We'll be starting with our vball trainings on tuesday.;( Then after that is my 16th birthday!!!:) Then a whole new set of activities. I have my review, leadership seminar and debate workshop coming up.

I've reached the end.

This week marks the last for this school year. I can't believe that junior year is over and in a few months time, i'll be a senior already. before i know it, i'll be in college. Well anyway. I won in the elections, no big. I'm really excited for the recognition program. It's on wednesday and I still haven't got something to wear. I'm going to be busy,busy this summer and this is my line up of activities:
March 16 - Turnover ceremony (SCC)
Recognition Day
March 17- Ria's Despidida
March 19- HS Graduation
March 20...Holy Week break
March 30- 16th Birthday
April 4-9- Public Speaking and Debate Workshop in school** tentative
April 18- May 18- Philacademic Review
April 19-21 - Leadership Training in Pasig
***volleyball March 20 - Start of training tuesday- heavy training,pm
thursday- training,pm
saturday - jogging, training am,pm
sunday- training,pm
April 3- Opening of Merville Sportsfest woohoo!