It's not about getting what I want.

It's two days before my birthday and it seems like a really short span of time has zoomed by. Gawd. I'm really going to miss being 18. In two really quick and painful days, I will say hello to my last year as a teen (hmm. Okay. Maybe the last is twenteen. :p) Omg. I'm getting old.

But I don't actually feel like it. It's like I'm stuck in this vacuum of being a kid. I really don't feel like I'm somewhat an adult. I need a car, or maybe I need to get that yearlong overdue license. (Mommy, daddy why invest in real estate when you can buy a car? - Haha. Stupidly selfish.) Raaar.

I'm kind of disappointed with how my grades are turning out. Well, for the most part I really need to get my projected grades in two remaining subjects in order to get into the dean's list. Otherwise, well. Oh well. Another lost cause. (F*** you Accounting. I'm never taking you again.) Maybe my expectations were a bit too high that's why I was really hoping to make it. But who knows? I'm gonna find out soon. Tae. Sa Boracay pa talaga. Haha. Foin.

Speaking of, it's one of the few things that's keeping me up now. I mean, my birthday is bringing me these mixed feelings of frustration, anger, confusion and whatnot. I don't know how I'm going to celebrate with my friends because I'll be gone for the first two weeks of April. And then, summer classes right after. How am I supposed to fix birthday parties when it's my last day today and tomorrow's the start of the weekend already? So you see, it's like I don't know. I really want to have a simple dinner or a night out with friends but I unfortunately wasn't able to fix it. I know it's fine but it's the first time in 19 years that I'm not going to celebrate my birthday doing something special.

Hmmm. I'm done with school but I don't feel like I'm relieved of the stress. This is just so sad. :(
GOD I MISS MY FRIENDS. SUMMER HERE I COME.

Advanced happy emo birthday to me. :D