It's that damn smile. I haaate that smile. :(
God I need to seriously do a lot of stuff in order to regain my sanity. This week was a feeling of all sorts. You know, the usual academic landslide - orals, long tests and whatnot. Next week will be the heavier continuation with 6 effin' deadlines. How come other schools don't have the notion of hell week? Unfair.:|
Oh well. Today was the day that I felt like I totally lost control over myself. I went to the bookstore, roamed around the mall and shopped all the stress out. Thank God I didn't succumb to eating. I was far too broke to even afford a meal. Funny, though because I feel that my life hasn't felt this good since I could remember. I mean, I've been able to work at my own pace (even went to the gym with Bixie and Nik yesterday and I vow to continue that for the rest of the month until Bora) and I think I'm handling my responsibilities well. Or so I think.
How come I feel like it's so... incomplete? I barely have the chance to gloat about things now. I don't even share my feelings with close friends - my troubles, my kilig moments, my rants and raves and other girl stuff. Suddenly, family and friends don't seem enough anymore.
Oh well. I don't wanna hear it. I know it's "I told you so." At the back of my mind, I know that this was something that I would inevitably feel as the aftermath of an ended relationship. But come to think of it, I don't want a commitment. I don't want any of it. Maybe I just crave for the feeling of being inspired - of looking forward to going to school because I know that it would make my day to see him walking along sec walk in the usual tamad porma attire, carrying bags with all his books and basketball stuff and flashing that oh so mesmerizing smile. And those eyes. Oh those tranquilizing eyes.
Now I feel that those eyes don't even see me the way I want them to.
Okay. Just hang on. I just have to get by and Boraaaaaaa here I come. Formsem with Sanggu here I come. Debate seminars here I come. Volleyball here I come.
All these in a two-week break. This is just the best life ever. :))
God I need to seriously do a lot of stuff in order to regain my sanity. This week was a feeling of all sorts. You know, the usual academic landslide - orals, long tests and whatnot. Next week will be the heavier continuation with 6 effin' deadlines. How come other schools don't have the notion of hell week? Unfair.:|
Oh well. Today was the day that I felt like I totally lost control over myself. I went to the bookstore, roamed around the mall and shopped all the stress out. Thank God I didn't succumb to eating. I was far too broke to even afford a meal. Funny, though because I feel that my life hasn't felt this good since I could remember. I mean, I've been able to work at my own pace (even went to the gym with Bixie and Nik yesterday and I vow to continue that for the rest of the month until Bora) and I think I'm handling my responsibilities well. Or so I think.
How come I feel like it's so... incomplete? I barely have the chance to gloat about things now. I don't even share my feelings with close friends - my troubles, my kilig moments, my rants and raves and other girl stuff. Suddenly, family and friends don't seem enough anymore.
Oh well. I don't wanna hear it. I know it's "I told you so." At the back of my mind, I know that this was something that I would inevitably feel as the aftermath of an ended relationship. But come to think of it, I don't want a commitment. I don't want any of it. Maybe I just crave for the feeling of being inspired - of looking forward to going to school because I know that it would make my day to see him walking along sec walk in the usual tamad porma attire, carrying bags with all his books and basketball stuff and flashing that oh so mesmerizing smile. And those eyes. Oh those tranquilizing eyes.
Now I feel that those eyes don't even see me the way I want them to.
Okay. Just hang on. I just have to get by and Boraaaaaaa here I come. Formsem with Sanggu here I come. Debate seminars here I come. Volleyball here I come.
All these in a two-week break. This is just the best life ever. :))
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