A tribute to my past.

I consider myself as one of the luckiest people in the whole wide world even though I pretty much don't get everything that I want. I rant about the most trivial and the most selfish stuff that anyone on the planet can ever complain about. But hey, in my defense, I'm a girl so back off. ;D

My thoughts and recollections lead me to one sole thing: I have come to realize how fastpaced this world is. I usually take that statement for granted knowing that what's important is the moment that I am living now, the past has occurred and no one knows what will happen in the future. But once in a while, a person does get the sense that everything happens only for a fleeting moment. Once it does, it vanishes and becomes part of the so-called past. Bitter instances are better left behind as some choose to remain stuck in them and wallow on their own misery. The best ones are for keeps that some would give anything for them to happen again. However, that's the thing with life and the mere act of being allowed to own something isn't it? Once the moment is yours, savor it and make everything out of it. Thus the cliche: you never know what you have until it's gone. Reality that continues to bite.

Now that I look back and for everything that was for the past year, nothing is what it seemed to be. Things have constantly changed and have gradually taken steps forward for the sake of moving on with the circle of life.

This is proven by the fact that I no longer hear the boisterous laughter that my friends and I make when we randomly get together just to have nonsensical conversations. I no longer see us walking around, pigging out and sharing our life-long dreams and aspirations. We get a few of those times now. Nothing seems spontaneous for we are now bound with responsibilities. Things which we dreaded and didn't have to worry about when we were years younger. I also miss the time when loving was such an easy thing do especially when it's given in front of you. It's the moment when you decide for a person to walk in and be a part of your life and just changes it in an instant. Then something unfortunate happens and suddenly, that person is taken away. You get devastated because you have gotten used to the things that you have started to share together and the life that you were living with that person. Nothing but heartache and sadness to keep you company while he is gone. Then the hard truth hits you: he's never coming back. Oh well, unless if you're meant to be then it's bound to happen, in one way or another. It's sad to let go but sometimes, you have no option left but to do so. You are a part of this journey and if you don't want to get left behind, you better keep your feet moving.

Then again sometimes, the journey just becomes tedious and wearisome for a few of us. In those times, we begin to question if the pain that we're experiencing is worth it just so we could reach our destination. And it's as if everyday we are given the chance to answer this, the truth is, only we can tell. No one else.

On moving on and letting go, they're phases that every one of us inevitably goes through. It's not a choice that we have to make because we will unconsciously and eventually do. The thing is, we just have to be reminded that everything we have now is temporary, every person that we know and every material thing that we own. Nonetheless, we take the options whether we make the best and the most out of everything: every single second of our borrowed time and every memory in our lives. What's great about it is that we take a better outlook in life once we learn to accept that things do happen for a reason and not everything stays with us. We have to struggle to accept in any way that we can for in acceptance comes the feeling of liberation. When we free ourselves from the chains that lock us up in the past, only then can we be happy. We will never run out of things to encounter in our God-given lives. Therefore, we have to be grateful that we are given the chance and the will to seize every opportunity that passes by. We have to be thankful for everything: the pain, the joy, the true friends, the bitches and sore losers, the jerks, the frienemies, the sisters and brothers, to the heartbreakers and to the promise-breakers who never kept their word. Without them, life would just be too easy.

On the contrary, some people will stay on with us. It's part of God's complex design. The tricky part is, the same people will gradually take on a different role in our lives. :)

I think it is only fitting to say that after everything that has taken place over the year and for the past 17 years of my life, I know that I am living at my best. I may have my ups and downs and some emotionally-constrained times, but rest assured that I can grapple on with much fun times.

Now that I look back, I see a big picture of what has made me who I am today. When I look ahead and what's in front of me, I see a wide horizon waiting to be lived.

I love everything I am and everything I am going to be. :) --- see how lucky I am?