Hopeful.

LSS: Baby Come Back by Vanessa Hudgens ^^,

I swear I wanted to blog last night so badly that I couldn't wait to get my hands on the computer. Well, nothing much. Some news update on the latest progress that's happened in the last wee bit of my relationship with him.

Okay. I'm going to put this here otherwise even if there's a slight threat that the fact that I'm in contact and becoming friends with his friends might possibly reach him and drive him nuts.

For the past two days, I have been talking to one of his closest friends on the phone about trivial stuff and an added benefit of making fun of him -- the next best thing that I can do to make up for the rage and anger that I can physically lash out. Yun lang. Nothing really grande except for the fact that we are going to catch a movie together --- the three of us I think --- some time next week before my thing at Absinth. Besides that, I'm still flying solo because not a lot of my friends have arranged plans for gimmiks or visits, yet.

Okay. The highlight of last night was this:

Me --- lying on the couch and watching Bring It On 3 for the nth time. The phone rings during the Beverly Hills song. (I missed him a call some minutes ago, even called him but then the maid said he was asleep)

So I walked towards the phone, surprised to see his number.

Me: Hello?
Him: Hello?
Me: Ui!
Him: Nagtext or tumawag ka ba?
Me: No. Wala akong load.
(Blahblahblah)
Him: I called kasi I just wanted to tell you na miss na kita.
Me: Uh yea. Ako din. I wanted to tell you the same thing.

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Aryt. Hold your horses and calm down. Today, I found out that he even told his bestfriend (my closest guy friend) about how he was feeling bad about what happened and that he's finding it really hard to face it right now. Hahaha. Didn't even occur to me that it would take this long for the pain to sink in. Oh well. At least.

Last night, I indulged in something I haven't really done for quite a long time. Read. I even had the chance to peek through some of the letters that I have received and have managed to keep when I was still in HS. It feels so sad to have lost out of touch with those particular people. Funny though, because I didn't imagine myself to feel something towards some people. Now, I could just laugh it off and treat it as just another used to be. Come to think of it, will this thing with my honey be just a memory? Like in the next couple of months or years, I'd just look back at it like some vivid experience in which I have felt true happiness? Or is it enough to carry on as a part of my life forever? Just a note, its existence will never cease to exist. And only God knows what will happen in the future. For now, lay back and relax muna. He's there, so near yet so far trying his best to make his way back to me. I'm here waiting and preparing for the best and expecting the worst. -- That is what's important.