When you just couldn't take it.

Everybody has the right to snap.

I am not invincible. I have a weak heart; not because it is fragile to begin with, but because the person whom I entrusted it to shattered the guard which has protected it. The ruins are not enough to shield me from what little energy is attempting to penetrate.

I am not a dainty china. I fall when I break, crumble to little pieces but it doesn't mean that I can't be whole again. I am incomplete and scathed but not really desolate.

Solitude. I am struggling to live life as it has left me. Nobody is there to bother knowing and sharing the things that trouble me. Nobody is there to make me cry even if I hate crying but I would rather be gently caressed after crying than not having to cry after all. Nobody is there is to scold me when I screw things up; when I make stupid mistakes. No one is there to share random moments with me, under the stars, under the night sky, over the phone, in the mall, in a vehicle, in a place far off...

I am not helpless. I just treat tears as my sole companions. Staring at the ceiling, thinking of what could've been if only you were willing to fight with me until the very end. Listening to songs, hearing your voice at the back of my head, recalling the days when it was best used in saying that you love me. All this brings me to retrospect, a kind of nostalgia to the place where I was when we were still together.

And all that has vanished. This is the 2nd month that we have stopped celebrating our love. I know you are with someone now for your own reasons and decisions. I hope you are happy. I hope you're doing well. I'm trying so hard to make it and I know that I have to get there.

Everything else just doesn't make any sense now. I have become a weakling. I can no longer muster up enough courage to stand up for myself. Maybe that's why I have been walking around, going through everyday with this huge facade that's attempting to conceal every bit of sadness inside me.

Hopeless as it is, I know that my life will never be devoid of your existence. You will continue to haunt me in my dreams, in my consciousness, in almost everything. I just pray that somehow, I will be brave enough to accept that fact that things can never undo themselves and can never go back to what they were.

For everything that's worth, we are all obliged to keep on moving forward. And that's what I'm doing now. Walking... walking... dragging my feet along with my broken heart.