Nothing in this world can stop us tonight.
I've been trying to whip up a lot of comfort foods today. Contrary to what I thought about having to party this sembreak, I thought really wrong. I don't think I will be able to party this sembreak. Not even once, that is if I pursue any suicidal attempts. Haha.
Okay. First things first. Today is my official first party for the break. It's Innah's debut tonight at Dusit and I'm afraid that the whole block's gonna be there. (well, not really, I'm sure there are a few who won't make it and now that includes me.) Why am I not there having fun? Well, for no apparent reason, (just because my parents think that my life's a tad be going to hell...) my parents decided not to let me go to any party this break. I mean, come on. Give me an effin' break. I'm gonna drive myself nuts if that happens. Hmmm. Well, yeah because for the most part, I'm gonna be the host of Jackie's debut next Friday.
So anyway, I've been a very good bum around today just watching soaps and teen flicks. I'm so tired of this freakin' boredom when there's so much to do!!! Well, for one I have yet to finalize my plans for hon's birthday because considering that I don't have money, (as in, zero except for coins and receipts in my wallet) I have made my mind that I'm gonna improvise. Well yeah, because I pretty much am left with no other choice. Unless I figure something out which is so impossible because it's only like three days away. Stress. Stress. Stress. More stress.
Then I have been planning to change this blog's layout because I've grown tired of it. But then, because I'm no expert when it comes to html and other codes, I think it's gonna take some days to be able to pull this off. So far, I have downloaded a lot of skins from the net and they remain to be where they are.
Hmmm. What else? Hon and I are so-so. We went out yesterday, made up last Wednesday but things aren't exactly back to normal between the two of us. I don't know. For some reason, I just refuse for us to have the same mechanism that we had before. I mean, come on. After all he's done? I'm no martyr. I get tired and I should cut myself some slack. (Sorry hon) But I think he's not the person whom I used to know. He's been this former player/loko-loko turned good boy for some time (at least, while he was with me then) and now he's turned into something wors...t Not worse. Okay. I mean, the guy does a lot of nasty things which he hasn't done before (and up to now, I don't really understand the point in having to do those stuff) and he just doens't care if he hurts people or even his own self. His friends. Sorry you guys, but you have to admit that you sometimes cross the lines. There are some things which you shouldn't influence other people to do especially when you know that they are incapable of controlling themselves. It's unfair becuase people do get hurt in the process.
For now, I'm happy with the way things are between us. I mean, I still haven't recovered with happened, or better yet, I still haven't forgiven him for what he's done but it's all up to him to prove that he has the best intentions to change. I know it's hard to actually force people to renew their lifestyle if it's against their will but I guess, that's why some people need to learn lessons the hard way. It knocks you off with one blow, without even being given a chance because then can you only learn and decide to do better and to think hard the next time: especially when you take things and people for granted. You'll never know what they're worth until they're gone So guys, I advise that you ponder on these things. Because me? I have fought so damn hard for everything that I have accomplished and for everything in our relationship to not know how much it will hurt if either of us decides to walk out in each other's lives. I'm actually indeterminate with my feelings for now. Honestly, they've been slowly sucked up due to all the pain and regrets. They haven't really vanished but I guess, I just have to be smarter this time around. Oh crap. Why does it have to be sooo hard for us? =c Sometimes I just want to leave it all behind but everytime I start to, he just sort of, comes back. How can I refuse that? Arrrrgggghhhhh.
So my quest for happiness doesn't end there. I miss my friends. Tolly. Our grand reunion's supposed to be on Jackie's 18th and we have plans for sleepovers but I guess I just have to scratch that now. Naaaah. It's to early to say that. Maybe things will get better. Oh, but then again, I guess I won't be able to sing in that surprise number.=c Sigh.
I have gotten numerous invitations to a lot of affairs. Treats to Ponti, Jaip, Citrus, Emba... Lahat na yata. How I wish I would be able to go. There's a slim chance that I would be allowed by him especially if he found out that guys are the ones who're asking me out. Haaay.
My eyes are pretty sore and I have consumed my glass of Four Season's frost. (my number one comfort drink) Another post I guess?
I so love Cort's blog, btw.♥
Okay. First things first. Today is my official first party for the break. It's Innah's debut tonight at Dusit and I'm afraid that the whole block's gonna be there. (well, not really, I'm sure there are a few who won't make it and now that includes me.) Why am I not there having fun? Well, for no apparent reason, (just because my parents think that my life's a tad be going to hell...) my parents decided not to let me go to any party this break. I mean, come on. Give me an effin' break. I'm gonna drive myself nuts if that happens. Hmmm. Well, yeah because for the most part, I'm gonna be the host of Jackie's debut next Friday.
So anyway, I've been a very good bum around today just watching soaps and teen flicks. I'm so tired of this freakin' boredom when there's so much to do!!! Well, for one I have yet to finalize my plans for hon's birthday because considering that I don't have money, (as in, zero except for coins and receipts in my wallet) I have made my mind that I'm gonna improvise. Well yeah, because I pretty much am left with no other choice. Unless I figure something out which is so impossible because it's only like three days away. Stress. Stress. Stress. More stress.
Then I have been planning to change this blog's layout because I've grown tired of it. But then, because I'm no expert when it comes to html and other codes, I think it's gonna take some days to be able to pull this off. So far, I have downloaded a lot of skins from the net and they remain to be where they are.
Hmmm. What else? Hon and I are so-so. We went out yesterday, made up last Wednesday but things aren't exactly back to normal between the two of us. I don't know. For some reason, I just refuse for us to have the same mechanism that we had before. I mean, come on. After all he's done? I'm no martyr. I get tired and I should cut myself some slack. (Sorry hon) But I think he's not the person whom I used to know. He's been this former player/loko-loko turned good boy for some time (at least, while he was with me then) and now he's turned into something wors...t Not worse. Okay. I mean, the guy does a lot of nasty things which he hasn't done before (and up to now, I don't really understand the point in having to do those stuff) and he just doens't care if he hurts people or even his own self. His friends. Sorry you guys, but you have to admit that you sometimes cross the lines. There are some things which you shouldn't influence other people to do especially when you know that they are incapable of controlling themselves. It's unfair becuase people do get hurt in the process.
For now, I'm happy with the way things are between us. I mean, I still haven't recovered with happened, or better yet, I still haven't forgiven him for what he's done but it's all up to him to prove that he has the best intentions to change. I know it's hard to actually force people to renew their lifestyle if it's against their will but I guess, that's why some people need to learn lessons the hard way. It knocks you off with one blow, without even being given a chance because then can you only learn and decide to do better and to think hard the next time: especially when you take things and people for granted. You'll never know what they're worth until they're gone So guys, I advise that you ponder on these things. Because me? I have fought so damn hard for everything that I have accomplished and for everything in our relationship to not know how much it will hurt if either of us decides to walk out in each other's lives. I'm actually indeterminate with my feelings for now. Honestly, they've been slowly sucked up due to all the pain and regrets. They haven't really vanished but I guess, I just have to be smarter this time around. Oh crap. Why does it have to be sooo hard for us? =c Sometimes I just want to leave it all behind but everytime I start to, he just sort of, comes back. How can I refuse that? Arrrrgggghhhhh.
So my quest for happiness doesn't end there. I miss my friends. Tolly. Our grand reunion's supposed to be on Jackie's 18th and we have plans for sleepovers but I guess I just have to scratch that now. Naaaah. It's to early to say that. Maybe things will get better. Oh, but then again, I guess I won't be able to sing in that surprise number.=c Sigh.
I have gotten numerous invitations to a lot of affairs. Treats to Ponti, Jaip, Citrus, Emba... Lahat na yata. How I wish I would be able to go. There's a slim chance that I would be allowed by him especially if he found out that guys are the ones who're asking me out. Haaay.
My eyes are pretty sore and I have consumed my glass of Four Season's frost. (my number one comfort drink) Another post I guess?
I so love Cort's blog, btw.♥
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