Avoiding it like the plague. - in the spirit of Hearts' Day

Falling in Love 101

Before

During

After

It's exactly an hour before doomsday. Unlike most people, I am dreading tomorrow for the first time in almost 18 years of living.

Two years ago and the years preceded it, I couldn't care less. It didn't matter to me if I celebrated Valentine's Day and treated it as a significant day of the month. I didn't mind receiving little surprises during the day and just going on with my usual routine. I spent it with friends and sniffed the aroma of love that was in the air.

A year ago, I was Ms. Cupid. I was lovestruck even though I was stuck with a lot of stuff to do. My work was arranged according to its degree of importance and at that time, he was my priority. It didn't hurt me one bit nor made me neglect any of the things that I was obliged to do because after all, he was supportive with my responsibilities all the way. I decided to make Valentine's a special day for the both of us.

Unfortunately, something just had to happen. I vaguely remember the exact thing which occurred but I do know that it ended the complete opposite of how it started. I was blooooooming with so much love after that. So much for reminiscing.

Looking back after the year that was, I was hoping that the celebrations will be prolonged, not for the sake of maintaining them out of conformity but because every other occasion was a way to celebrate our love. But it had to end so soon. Now this year, even though I tell myself that I'm just back to treating this day insignificantly, I know it makes all the difference. It's the beginning of celebrating all other special days within the year all by myself. Alone. Alone. Alone.

Anyway. The Core had the usual share of emo conversations today as a pre-Valentine bash. Yeah. Now there's this thing called the SAWI founded by... I'm not really sure who but it means Samahan ng mga Atenistang Walang Iniibig. Oh yeah. Poor single souls. Later on, it was added with an N (for Nangyayari) and a U (for Umiibig) so it became SAWINU. Figure it out.

We agreed to wear black tomorrow as a, I don't know, as a sign of mourning I guess? And as a perfect excuse, we're gonna flock together after Math class to have our group study-date for Calc at Seattle's Best.

I'm really tired right now and it's really late. But I still have to stay up because of the stuff that I have to do. My dad just had to drag me along with him to Market2! because we bought his Valentine's gifts for my mom: a bouquet of roses, food and stuff. Then, we went to Lola's house for a while.

Work mode on now. Oh yeah.

I hate to single myself out but I have no reason to be distracted tomorrow.

Screw tomorrow. Oh wait. Before I forget, I received this in my email and it just remained in my mind. Food for thought.

Things to ponder on:

1. Never complain about what you permit.

2. When you heart decides a destination your mind will design a map to reach it.

3. The proof of desire is pursuit.

4. The secret of your future is your daily routine.

5. The problem that infuriates you the most is the one God has assigned you to solve.

6. The size of your enemy determines the size of your reward.
7. Any movement toward order will expose what does not belong in your life.
8. What you can tolerate you cannot change.
9. Your rewards in life are determined by the kinds of problems you are willing to solve for others.
10. Your respect for time is a prediction of your financial future.
11. When you want something you have never had you will have to do something you have never done.

Hemin bread time.