Bitterness ergo remorse.

A spark of hope.:)

If the above two were profoundly intertwined, then I would perpetually be harping on the sole feeling that I have kept for the past few... err... months.

It is depressing that it's only now that I choose to stand up for everything and resist the evil that's been wanting to ruin my life all along. The evil, which came in a pleasant disguise, in the person of a dark-complexioned chinito along with his little devious friends, is now at the mercy of my powers. Ugggh. The thought of it sickens me. Eeewww. Gross.

So I know it's really sad that everything we had and all the time we spent would end up like this; as if nothing happened and we're supposed to avoid each other and stuff. But the thing is, it wasn't my choice in the first place. I never wanted any of this shit. I just settled for what was given in front of me. I never wanted it to end, ever. Until of course now because I can't take it any longer.

I want to say that despite everything I'm going through and the pile of productive work that I have to balance with this, I am so thankful because I am blessed with wonderful friends and family. They sure made me feel better after all the crying and ego tripping. Really now. I love you guys.

So here's another thing that I won't fail to mention in this post and that is the grande celebration that everybody's waiting for: Valentine's Day. It's down to the last two-day count and I bet people are now rummaging their pockets to find money for their ridiculous gifts for their partners. This, I have to say, is an occasion that's not for everyone yet I don't have to feel sorry for myself for being single. I honestly think that it's better than being treated like crap when you're with someone. And that someone can just give you a temporary high, a kind of satisfaction that will leave you empty in the process and will make you suffer like hell.

Let's put it this way. I'd rather that everything that we've been through was more of this unstable rollercoaster kind of relationship than the typical boring kilig and romantic relationship. Had I known that all would be just forgotten and deliberately direspected, then I would've chosen to remain free of all of them. You don't engage yourself in commitments out of fun and out of fear of being alone, but because you want to find yourself in that someone and you want to grow as a person within that relationship.

Guilt and bitterness come in when it becomes too late for you to realize that you have made a complete fool of yourself for letting your selfishness devour and consume every inch of you.

Maybe this time, you have to more sensitive of other people's feelings. Grow up.

As for me, I'm finally free of it all.:)