Life is good when you're in looove♥♥♥

There would always be sparks when you come face to face with him; unlike dead stars which mean nothing, no sense has ignited and then you feel bare, think twice and live the life you've started together.

So what if I received a D in my math midterms? There are still chances to recuperate: two more long tests and my finals.

So what if we didn't win even one round in the Dela Costa Cup? I enjoyed my team's company anyway. It was for the heck of it and we weren't really after the winning. I can always compensate for it come powermatch. At least I know the areas I need to improve.

All just suddenly make sense. Everything, regardless of if it were really downright frustrating, had a bright side to it. All because of one person.

And yes. The best part of today was retelling Rico my whole lovelife. Second best was when I saw him...but then, I wasn't content at all because it was less than five minutes. Nevertheless, even though life can be really crappy, no matter how screwed I am, to any extent that I feel so mediocre, even if everything doesn't seem to fit and work out, I still have a lot of things to look forward to.

I just have to keep on trying.

This amount of positivism is essential for everyday.♥♥♥

The day the cars bumped at Guadalupe.

Everyday is just a boring routine.

I don't usually hear myself complain about this. My life's mundane yet it's exciting in every way it can be. From the moment I set foot on Ateneo to the time when I call everything a wrap. I usually go to school with a budding good mood. I just sit patiently on the front seat, admiring the billboards along EDSA.

This morning was the usual. I was texting hon, we were talking about trivial stuff, saying our usual i love yous and all...
Until we reached Guadalupe just in front of the Sogo Hotel. A van was there and my dad was in this delighted conversation with my ninong's girlfriend. And then Craaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssh. We bumped onto that van and then the motorcycle at our tail hit us. Soon enough, the passing cars were honking a big deal because we were at the middle of the road.

I was nervous. These things really traumatize me. The moment my dad cursed after hitting the van, my heart started beating wildly. I thought I wouldn't make it to school. But then again, there were matters far too important than disussing who's reponsible for the accident with the traffic enforcers. So, we went ahead and I came to school as if everything were okay.

As the day progressed, the feeling pretty much shook off and I was keeping msyelf busy as there are a lot of things to do. I'm just bummed because I have to say goodbye to the laptop who had the potential to be mine. =/ Ooh. The thought of having the HP Pavilion dv5000z got me all up giddy that it just shattered everything when I realized that we had to spend a lot for the damages brought by the accident. Oh well. Shit happens truly. Very unfortunate.

I want a Canon Powershot A430. An iPod Mini. A new bag and a new pair of flippies.

But I'm so broke. A lot of people are going to celebrate their birthdays next week. Upcoming events such as the cheerdance competitions, the Mvation Host hunt and Powermatch in ADS.

There are a lot of stuff to do. As in. Really. Toodles♥♥♥

Dragged and torned.

It's one of these days when you want to cut yourself to pieces so that you can accomplish everything that you have to do.

Yes. One of which is to blog. Blogging is a major stress-reliever.

In the near future, you will get to read a lot of entries here which are worth reading and are not mere journal write-ups. Yeah. That'll give this blog more sense.=D

Right now I'm researching for the 'unknown' Filipino military heroes. I didn't really realize that there are a lot of people who deserve to be accredited to as heroes but then they just remain as insignificant contributors to Philippine history.

Okay. I'm currently studying for my midterms exam. I'm fretting about my papers in Filipino, English and Lit. Major requirements for those subjects.

I'm bothered because my allergies came back because of the supposedly heat turned cold wave and I easily get sleepy because I lack my regualr intake of caffeine. Everything doesn't fit.

Last night, Hon and I had the best time of our lives. One of the bestü

I'm going to sell a book and when I have enough money, I'm going to buy the bag and flippies that I want.ü

Yeeeeay.

Okay. Back to hibernate mode again.♥♥♥

[EDIT] Oh no. I've been trying to answer my midterms reviewer for the past hours. I think I'm going to flunk math midterm exams. No. Pleaaase.

I was watching the AdMU vs. UST game this afternoon. Too bad we lost by 8 points. Chris Tiu was really good. So was Macky Escalona. It's his birthday today. But then again, they're not close friends. I'm just a huge Blue Eagle fan.

I also watched One Tree Hill. I can't believe I've been missing on a lot of episodes lately. Also, The OC. Awww. And, Laguna Beach and Gilmore Girls. Those were the flicks I erally got so crazy about last summer. It's such a bummer not having a tv in my room. But then again, if I did have one, I doubt I'll have time to do my extra stuff. Weh. Of course I will.ü Ako pa.

I just have to watch One Tree Hill's season finale on Tuesday and the next after this week. For now, it's work, work,work. Study!!!♥

Weekend before MIDTERMS.

It's the very first time that I wake up soooo freakin' early on a Saturday to actually print out all the sample review stuff for my Math midterms. Arghh. If it weren't for that F, I wouldn't be fretting and frustrated like this. Oh well.

I'm missing his game and his grad pictorial for this. I hope it would be worth the sacrifice.

Gotta go.♥

These are the best days♥

This has been one of my best weeks ever. Well, regardless of the Math LT of course.

After the Club Six Fifty and the Sukob adventure, I was back to school once again and it entailed a lot of activities and a lot of studying. My Math long test took place yesterday and I happened to have had no Lit and Eng classes because we watched the documentary Batas Militar(which I have watched for about 5 times already).

Of course, yesterday was one of my hallmarks in life. It was 23 and our 14th month together. Incidentally, we fought the night before because of the stupid graphic which was pro-AdMU. So unfair of him btw to get mad while I profess school spirit through that and I actually allow him to have a go at Ateneo every chance he gets. Hahaha=p Okay. Enough. But then before he slept he decided to get over it. He was really sweet pa nga eh. Awwww♥
And then, of course the big test day came. I'm expecting to get my first F ever in my entire life tomorrow. Haaay=/

So anyway. We just met at Glo as usual and then I bought him a box of Cello's doughnuts. He really loved it.♥ After that we went to SM foodcourt and I wouldn't really want to elaborate on who I saw there. Of all the people and places. Arggh.

And then today was really fun.ü After my lab I left school and headed for SPCP because I had to adj for the Debate sa Fil finals. It went quite well but I still feel that the debaters lack training. They really do. But I wouldn't blame them. The prop wasn't all good to begin with. It was really comforting to see some of my HS friends: Dianne, Aimee, Miko, Karla and all other UST people, Sis, Mites, Kat and Dastine.ü We ate a lot, chatted and all that. The big finale was an animated up to date storytelling courtesy of my good ex-colleague Mae Ann.ü I miss that girlü

And then, Mites, Dastine, Kat, Sis and I went to the plaza to let our tastebuds welcome the zest of streetfoods once again. I didn't get the chance to eat siomai because the manong selling the better ones in front of the gates left when we went back.=c

But it's okay. We went to 711 because Mites had to buy one bottle of Mudshake. She and her blockmates are going to have a partay/drinking session tomorrow. Me too! I'll go with the guys to Greenbelt because they have a gig at 6 Underground and I have to interview people at cafes for my Eng paper.ü Suits my schedule well. I want to remove the hassles for the weekend because if I should watch Hon's football game or even accompany him for his grad pic, then I want to make time for him. Otherwise, I'll just stay at home, do work and study for my MATH MIDTERMS on Monday.

Right. Tomorrow's the first round for the Dela Costa Cup.ü I have Rico and Jerome as my teammates who are both novice at debate. Hahaha=p Good luck to us I guess.ü

I'm loving this.♥♥♥

Just a side note, I want to get used to him like this everyday. He's sweet as ever!!!♥♥♥

I still have this to call my own.♥

There are some times when people can always see me crying, ranting, spastic, cranky and all that. But then, there are also times when I can be all giddy and ethusiastically happy. Well you know, life's like that. Shit happens. Life is free. Life is fun all the same.♥

So there. It all comes down to the point that blogging cannot be removed from my life ever.=p

Okay. Anyway... to the 'gory' details.

Last Friday was kinda a mixture of all possible things that I could undergo. The previous night was as weird. Hon and I spent the night talking in front of our house about having to break up and blahblahblah. Apparently, that talk became trash after we disregarded it. We felt that it was nonsense and decided to forget it. But yeah, it bothered me big time. He wanted to say that I was getting all too clingy and too interfering with his already-messed-up-life so he needed to have time for himself. Well duh.

Friday came... He promised to go to school to pass his form but then he changed his mind because it was Victor's birthday and so he was going to treat them at Steph's shop. (Hahahaha=p Veeery specific.) And then, we didn't get the chance to talk because I was busy myself. I even tried smoking at the smokers' pocket with my good friend Alexa. (Soooo sorry to those who are stuck with my goody-two shoes repu) But no sweat. It was a once in a lifetime maneuver. Don't effin' worry.

And then, I had to be busy and all that because of my advisory grades. Potah. My grades are good except for one subject. Basta yun na yun. Sabi naman ni Innah, those are just 13% of the final grade so no need to fret. Babwi ako sa Lit. Swear.

In the afternoon, after our InTACT class, a lot of people were going about because of the last-minute applications for the ACET. Crammers. Hahaha=p

And then, I had to be stuck with choosing between watching the Sagala or training for the debate. Ano ba? Parang ano ba? Hahaha=p So I decided to have training in debate to somehow relieve the stress, hoping that my decision would be right.

Yes. It was indeed right. Glenn was our adj, my partner was good, the motion was good and I couldn't have asked for anything more. I just have to practice. More practice. i just found out that I have verbal crutches like "Actually"...=p

Then after that, we went to Shakey's but found no one there except Ria and Arnee. The three of us decided to go to Eastwood and drink the night away.

Fast forward to Saturday and Sunday... Hon and I continued to be off terms. It was really baaad. I don't want to remember it. Sunday, I was supposed stay at home but my mom made me go out ot have my hair treated. So I went instead to Ian's house and let them do the job. Itwas kinda weird becasue he (hon) had to be there. But then...

We patched things up... and it was really3 good.ü As in. All smiles.

Now today... We went with the lovers' gang to Club Six Fifty at Libis for achi and Bhi's training. I even saw Justin Manzano there.ü

We had fun. As in. We watched Sukob at Mega, ate, bonded and all that. And now I'm in a hurry because I have stuff to doü

Life's good.♥♥♥

Suddenly, all makes sense.

It's pretty weird when one day, you feel really bad about something and then just try to cover it up. Grabehan ah. And now, I feel like my head's going to burst. I feel really terrible that I even threw up after dinner.

This day really stressed me out. Maybe it would help if I gave it a blow by blow account.

First thing in the morning, my physics blockmates and I were really fretting because of the dreaded long test. Simula na ng bangungot. So there, we took it and I already expected that I'd fail. But still, nag-aral pa rin ako.

Hon and I aren't really on good terms right now. I practically spent the whole morniong and afternoon not talking to him. I was just forced to do so because he lacked something for his ACET registration.

Good thing that in the afternoon, I was able to make up for the stress when I had my pe and training. Woohooo. I really had a good game. Kaya lang I was really tired because Rochelle and I had to walk so far...

On my way home, Laine called me and told me that the results for the long test were already emailed. Score nya? 18. Ako? 19 pare. Score ba yun? amp. =p Well, di dapat magyabang, after all, I'm at the middle. Majority of the class had scores within my range. Hahaha=p Si Nico, who didn't really study got the highest at 27. Gago talaga yun. Ang talino sobra. He's the only guy I know who talks a lot during class, complains a lot about doing homework and stuff, who never studies before tests and yet, he gets the highest freakin' score. amp.

And then, kanina... Hon and I looked stupid because we were arguing on the street and we were both crying. Akalain mo. He was saying something about having to cool-off and stuff like that. I was ready to get depressed when, after all the talk and crying and fighting, we patched things up. Gulo namin noh? Ewan. I'm still bothered about some issues up to now. Hmmm.


So there. At least now, I can say things are pretty much back to normal. I'm excited for tommorow: training, dinner-date at Terriyaki Boy with blockmates and he's gonna go to school to pass his form.ü

Yeeey♥♥♥

Excited.

Is this really normal? I'm like blogging every chance I get. Oh well.♥

I'm kinda excited for this afternoon's debate match. Wooohooo. My first time as an adjudicator. Luckily, I found this copy of the ADS modules saved in this computer terminal so I can read it for a few pointers in adj-ing. I actually thought that it would be impossible for me to fly all the way to Parañaque after my 1:30 class. I'm even tempted to cut so I can leave early.=s But no. They just have to wait for me. Hahaha=D I was pretty pissed off because of the conflicts prior to this event. I am supposed to have my guidance interview this afternoon. Oh, wait. I mentioned that in the previous entry. =D

Anyway, I'm still going. I want to see some action. We're going to have full debates this Friday. Yipeee. I don't know why I'm so hyped up. Is it because of the yema?

Well. I think people who know me can answer that question. Debate is my passion. Even if I had a lot of careers before and after this (i.e. band vocalist, singer, cheerdancer...etc.) Iwould always go back to this craft. The craft that I love.

So no matter how I suck at trainings (for now...) I would always have the spirit to learn more and be better in every aspect of debating. This filed can make me go places, literally and figuratively. (Think Athens, Greece and Paris, France)

The adrenaline rush of debating can't be compared to anything else (except...)

I have what it takes. I just have to train harder to be better. So watch me whoop that ass.

Toodles♥♥♥

Fil paper + physics long test = free cut

Yeah. The perfect answer to my prayers. A freecut in physics so that I can finish my paper in Fil. Well apparentyl, I'm not the only one who hasn't finished my paper (as justified by Mark, who is sitting beside me, typing his paper). A lot of us are really fretting with the hell week situation. A lot of college students are.=p

Oh well. I might as well get this over with. I still have to review for the long test and read the 'short' story that our prof is asking us read.

The workaholic is getting what she wants and what she deserves.

[EDIT] I' m here at the library blogging once more. I was telling Alexi that I really wanted to go online. Kating-kati na ko magblog. So there. mark and I finished our paper a little before 11:00 so we had ample time to eat. Laugh trip pa at the caf courtesy of Arnee who was reading the jokes in Ria's fone aloud.=D

Oops. I almost forgot. We left Mark sleeping at our table. Hahahah=D Poor guy.
Anyway. I'm currently updating my calendar in multiply para naman magkalaman.ü

Since it's hell week for the first time, I'll grab every opportunity to think smart and to think with sense. Every time spent should be worth it. Feeling the vibe doesn't mean I'll have to go berserk. Anyway...

I'm going to post a few political questions para... wala lang.=p

1. Have you watched the latest tv commercial endorsing Charter Change?
2. What's the latest on the impeachment case?
3. How effective was the ceasefire imposed by the UN on the Lebanon-Israel war?
4. Who's the latest storm?
5. Am I doing good in my freshman year so far?=D --- yes. *nods head*

Hahaha=p I don't know. I have to go na. I have to study in Physics pa eh.ü

Babooo♥♥♥

Blog if you must.

An entirety of wonderful a day wouldn't be complete without me blogging. This just gives me the license to feel that I have the advantage over everyone else just because I can use the overwhelming power of WORDS.

So I finished my Physics thing just in time to have it printed. He really does love me. He rushed here just so he can give me the hardcopy of my homework.

I'm sure relieved that today went well, without the assurance that it would; with all the rain and everything. Unexplicably, I had the most fun time in Lit class this morning. I felt pretty good actually. Maybe because I drank coffee before I headed to class. We were having this petty fight over his classmate. ahem. No comments.

So there. We spent the afternoon with the usual stuff; more fun than ever. And now, I'm gonna get going because I still have a paper to finish at dawn.

Everybody's fussing with the whole 'hell week' situation. I say calm down people! We're going to make it.ü

Let's just show the world some love♥♥♥

Blog before everything else.

Okay. I feel really weird that Klaire Yapyuco is right in front of me. Okay. Freakishly weird. She's really pretty ah.

Well anyway, I'm currently sorting out my mailbox kasi it's too messed up. Then, I'll work on all the stuff that I need to do, have my papers printed and head out to study for my freakin' physics test. I don't polan on having training later due to all the submission and everything but I just realized that I don't have to sweat about my paper in Fil because of my 4 - hour break tomorrow. But, what the heck., it won't hurt if I finish it today.=p

Anway... Mina's here again at the comp. lab. We're slowly becoming residents here. The non-benefits of being too poor to afford a laptop. Hmmm.

So there. I don't know exactly why I feel good today. I practically lack sleep but I guess being able to drink coffee somehow heightened my spirits up.ü

I'll end here. Got loads of stuff to do. Ciaoü

Good people deserve a break once in a while.

Super distracted. I'm currently texting my girls so that we could arrange plans for us to go out. You know, the 'just us girls' bonding. Kaya lang, apparently, they don't really want to be away from their guys, unlike me. Ewan ko ba. Mood siguro. We actually have plans on 21 kaya lang, I decided na I want to go somewhere else. I dunno. Siguro... Well, the idea that the three of them are like at Hon's house playing PS2 and the three of us girls are stuck at home studying kinda gave me the idea na we should hang-out sometime too. Kaya lang. Lokaloka talaga sila eh.

Anyway. Yesterday was a blast. I watched Hon's football game (CSA vs. Southville. Of course, CSA won) and spent the whole afternoon at Ian's house watching dvds - Hollowman 2 (Halloman as speeled in the menu=p) and Inside Man (starring the Green Goblin, Denzel Washington and Jodie Foster).

We just had a great time. Even after mass, we hang-out and all. Ayun. Now, I'm here doing a lot of stuff for school. The printer's malfunctioning. Ewww.

This just gets on my nerves. Soooo frustrating.

I can't remember the last time when I had this one heck of an overloaded month. Not until now.

As Ria would put it, the 'college vibe'. I can really feel it.

I don't know, next week's already hell week before the midterms. I say hurrah to the papers to be submitted, to the long tests and long line of activities!!!=p Taena yan.

Yeah it really gets so frustrating. We continue to have petty fights but as far as I'm concerned, I'm pretty relieved at the notion that we can patch things up. He's just so unpredictable. Sometimes, I don't know where to put myself. Yesterday, I practically had to make tambay with Bhi and Bro just so I could have someone to spill my thoughts with. Thoughts oozing with absurdity and paranoia.

He can't blame me.

Ian's right. When it comes to the one you love, you just can't ignore your instincts because they usually are confirmed. Although it wouldn't exactly come out to the level as how you imagined it, there's still something.

Tangina. Nahihirapan na ko. ='c Why can't he make it easy for me? I know he loves me. But...?

EMO.

I love you, I love you, I love you
Verse 1:-
Baby I love you you are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side
You're my relation and connection to the sun
With you next to me there's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrops I am the seed
With you and God who's my sunlight I'm blooming grown so beautifully
Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl
You make the confusion go all away from this cold and misty world

Chorus:-
I am in love with you (In love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (In love)
I'll never leave (Just)
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me
Cause I am in love with you (In love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (In love)
I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me

Verse 2:-
And I know you love me love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy, easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me
Later on in my destiny I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife and I see my whole future in your eyes
But in awe of my love for you sometimes makes me wanna cry
Realize all of my blessings I'm greateful to have you by my side

Chorus:-
I am in love with you (In love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (In love)
I'll never leave (Just)
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me
Cause I am (So) in love with you (In love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (In love)
(No no no) I'll never leave
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me
(Loving me__)

Verse 3:-
Every time I see your face my heart smiles
Every time it feels so good it hurts sometimes
Created in this world to love, to hold, to feel, to breathe
To live you
Dangerously in love__ you yeah

Chorus:-
I am in love with you (In love)
You set me free
I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
Cause I'm dangerously in love with you
(In love, I love you, I love you I'll never leave)
I'll never leave (Just)
Just keep loving me the way I love you loving me
Cause I am in love with you
(In love with you, Im in love with you)
You set me free
I cannot do, I cannot do anything without you in my life
Holding me, kissing me, loving me
Dangerously (Dangerously)
Dangerous, dangerously in love with you
Dangerous, dangerously in love
Oh I love you, I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you
I love you (I love you)
Oh yeah, I love you__
I love you, love you, love you
Love you, love you
(I love you)
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
Dangreously in love

Too Little Too Late

Come with me
Stay the night
You say the words but boy it don’t feel right
What do you expect me to say?(You know it’s just too little too late)
You take my hand
And you say you’ve changed
But boy you know your beggin’ don’t fool me
Because to you it’s just a game(You know it’s just a little too late)
So let me on down
Cause time has made me strong
I’m starting to move own
I’m gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know
It’s just too little too late
Too little too wrong
And I can’t wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
You know it’s just a little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don’t like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn’t matter anyway
You know it’s just too little too late
It’s just too little too late
I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn’t enough
And now you wanna communicate( You know it’s just too little too late)
Go find someone else
I’m letting you go, I’m loving myself
You gotta problem
But don’t come asking me for help
Cause you know
It’s just too little too late
Too little too wrong
And I can’t wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
You know it’s just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don’t like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn’t matter anyway
You know it’s just too little too late
I can love with all of my heart, baby
I know I have so much to give( I have so much to give)
With a player like you, I don’t have a prayer
That’s the way to live, oh ho
It’s just too little too late, yeah
It’s just too little too late
Too little too wrong
And I can’t wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
You know it’s just too little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don’t like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn’t matter anyway
You know it’s just too little to late
You know it’s just too little too late
It’s just too little too late
Too little too wrong
And I can’t wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
You know it’s just a little too late
You say you dream of my face
But you don’t like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn’t matter anyway
You know it’s just too little to late

I'm so sick of this.

Okay. Never a single day has passed without me having to hear myself complain of all the stuff that's happened to me.

This is just so tedious. It's bad enough that I have to be pressured and stressed out because of the so many things to do in college but I can't help but be bothered with the so called unnecessary stress that this one heck of a wretched lovelife is bringing.

I'm so much of an emo. I hate feeling this way.=c

Would it be safe if I say that I'm dangerously in love? Hahahaha=p Naaah.

Whatever. I was just talking to JV a while ago and he said a lot of stuff. ( Pardon me for saying this, but I do think he's right about this one thing.)

Well at least I have no plans of doing that now. The world practically needs me to be busy. So I won't care about petty moodswings right now. Maybe I have to have a cup of coffee. yeah, I'll do that later when I go back to the caf.

So there. Yesterday was nothing. Juts typical. I had classes, had my nerd mode on, did the lit paper with Alexa and Geoff during half of my break, did stuff after that in the lib, had class again...blahblah.

Which reminds me, I have training every Mondays and Thursdays. Coach was looking for me last monday. Well, I thought we wouldn't pursue trainings after we got disqualified from the IAC league.

Oh well. Before my dad and I went home we went to my lola's house. And oh, his mom called me up and told me some freaky stuff over the phone.

Ayun. So my sched up to date:

Monday - volleyball training after class
Tuesday - choir practice after class
Wednesday - chillax
Thursday - volleyball training after class
Friday- ADS training after class

*Well, it isn't much but I guess I have to get my butt working. I have a lot of papers and long test coming up. Yeah.

Sabi nga ni JV, 'fight stress with a smile'.

I can still force a smile from time to time. Now could be a good one. ♥♥♥

On hypocrisy and insecurities. --- never make excuses to excel.

[So in the mood to write an EMO article -- something reflective]

To those who happen to read this, just read okay?

Once in a while I actually spulrge in a huge amount of professionalism in my everyday life. Way back in high school I would always assume a pile of responsibilities and tasks apt for a student leader; someone out of everyone's league. C'mon let's face it, I may be a plain Jane when it comes to fashion and social status (well, not at the least) but I'm no average chick or better yet, a MEDIOCRE. So why do I feel so insecure? I have no idea. Well maybe because I haven't felt so bad about myself inasmuch as I do now.

People would always say I'm basically brains and beauty and that my charm works with the mechanism of smart talking and the radiance of a beautiful mind. My opinionated and witty conversationalist tactics always captivate the people whom I converse with. My passion profusely ignites the senses of who I am bringing out the sincere personality I would want to harbor to my audience. Thus my life.

But all these have perished in an instant now that I'm in the tertiary level of schooling. Although for all it's been worth, I have never failed to uphold my standards. My forte remains to be as it is, my capabilities undermined yet challenged at the most and my social life underway. Perhaps all these are a part of what I choose to live in my life and my struggle just spruces up my being. This is just the beginning of fun and living.

Nevertheless, all these don't matter if the one person who I want to be proud of me demands for anything that I wouldn't opt to do. I thought we have long passed the stage of superficial interest. I THOUGHT WRONG. Well yeah, apparently my efforts into making him see that I'm actually battling for a reputable name in college are all in vain. I do understand his concern somehow but doesn't he think that I'm just to stressed out to even think of those 'petty stuff'? I mean, think about it, it's bad enough that I have my pms right now when I have papers due next week and long tests too! Then he just makes this remark saying...blahblahblah. Yeah! I'm aware of that and I'm actually trying to do something about it! Just not now!!! Can you like support me instead anad take care of me to somehow relieve the stress and pressure???

Okay. Let's cut this guy some slack. I know it's been rough with his problems and all that but I won't deny the dubious fact that I have my OWN heap of problems to attend to. It just tampers on my well-being having to deal with this unnecessary feeling of low self-esteem coming from him. It's really ironic that he's the source of all this.

Label me a hypocrite if, at least once, I haven't actually considered looking at CUTE and HOT guys. Yeah. I do. I just don't make a huge banner that I do it.

Raaaarrr. This blows me off and makes me off guard. I can't say I don't regret having to compromise school work with comforting him. Well, yeah. I don't not because I felt oligated to do so but because I love him.

So why does it matter anyway? Because I thought that if one person loves you, he has long accepted your flaws and imperfections. That no matter how wrong you are in just about anything, he'll stand by your side to give you strength and help you with your aspirations. Better yet, he'll be proud of you no matter what you do even at your failures and shortcomings Moreover, he'll gloat about the littlest of what you've achieved, even by just conquering your fears. He'll accept you for what you can be and help you improve yourslef, not for mere display of beauty but for the world to see that it's him that makes you smile while exuding sincere love. And then he'll look at other girls to naturally appreciate beauty but in the end, it's still you who's the most beautiful person in his eyes.

Then all this boils down to what's left of what we understand about love. People change and stop putting their best foot forward. Some things indicated above may be stated based on what I experienced from him before, therefore implying my inability to adjust with his sudden change.

But then, who says I won't overcome this? After all, we make both ends meet. Whatever he lacks in brains, I make up for it. And whatever I lack in appearance (which I technically doubt), he comprises.

In the plethora of all the hot people in 'his' society, why wouldn't he be blinded by microminis and slim figures? Let's just hope that after all, he's got the best the world can offer and that is more than just a pretty face; a loving heart, skillful leader and a smart ass. ♥♥♥

It's easier to let someone go than to go back and find yourself being rejected.

This day was just rough... To the highest level of depression.

Okay. Chill. Sit back and relax. Argh.

Gory details next time. I need to work on stuff pa.

Fragile (Free) - Maria Mena

I've been walking around all day thinking
I think I have a problem, I think I think too much
I've been taught to hold back my tears and avoid them
but you've made pain into something I could touch
I've been walking around all day laughing
Think I'd be better off without you here
And I bet you're sweet and hard to get over
So I'll cry and people will stop and stare
Now that's ok, let them stop and stare

Cause I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free

I've been walking around all day waiting
And waiting is all I seem to do
Cause I never get it unless I'm fed it
But this time I'll just have to
Yeah, this time I'll just have to

And I'm fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free

Say you're not around, am I finished?
If you're not around that's too bad
Hope you're safe and sound, not alone now
Cause you know I believe in you

I'm still fragile
I'm still hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free
And I'm fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free
Cause I'm fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free

It's over. There's no turning back.

Got nothing to do.

Okay. I'm such a bad peson for telling Jiggy that I'm heading here to the comp. lab to start with my Filipino paper. Well yeah, somehow I will start my paper but I want to redo my friendster profile. I don't have anything to do eh. Really.

Starting off the morning with me having to get pissed at my dad for insisting on picking me up, I really have to make an excuse so that Hon can pick me up later. There are a lot of band events here and I heard from magic last night that it's the Magic School Tour today. We'll just have to check and see people from Magic 89.9 roaming around campus.

I kinda feel guilty for using the pc this way. Hahahaha=p I mean a lot of people are in need of a computer to actually type something and here I am, using it for nonsensical purposes. I have here Rico, my english blockmate who's such a smarty pants, by my side typing something for their Filipino Sagala.

And so there. I think my mom kinda sensed that I'll be going out otday. Instinctively. Well, there's nothing wrong. They SHOULD assume it because it is a FRIDAY.

I really would want to see him!!!=p I miss him already.

I want to have class na. First thing in the morning at English class is a talk by the ADS for the Dela Costa Cup. I'm quite excited.

Hmmm. Wala lang. I miss my HS friends.=c

Rarrrr.

Lotsa stuff coming up this weekend.♥

Toodles♥

These are the days worth living♥

Nothing much. Yesterday was mundane. Well yeah. I learned a lot from the UN talk of William Panillo. I'm looking forward to our training tomorrow.


Today was just typical. I went home early because I had to go to SM to apply for my postpaid account in Sun.

Hon and I have't really talked but he passed by here. Awwww. Can't wait for the weekend.=p

The flu.

I just dabbed my nose with a facial tissue. Argh. I hate this. I never seem to run out of sickness evern since the school year started. It's quite unusual considering that my immune sytem's a lot stronger in enduring the plague of the rainy season. So now, I'm coughing and blowing my nose from time to time.

Anyway, I still have to finiss my paper for Lit. I wasn't able to finish it because I came home late last night. Okay. Wait.

HANDS UP to TANGHALANG ATENEO. The play was great.=p Superb. Vivaciously Oustanding.

Well anyway... It's freakin' cold here mehn. I'll finish my paper and head to Matteo Ricci to sleep with Gen and John.ü

Toodles♥