Yesterday was really baaaad. Okay, so round one of Powermatch is over. Pero we emerged last. Hahaha. I expected we would after the crappy way to start it off.
Gani, unexpectedly, pulled out as my partner the last minute. I was threatened to debate as one person the whole round adn I thought I was going to die.=c Glenn even encouraged me, saying na: "Okay lang yan. Training din yan." Anu ba yun? Everybody else gets to debate with a partner and I don't. So, I won't have someone to share the humiliation of being awarded with zero points (ranked 4th) at the end of the match. Conicidentally, Jeff wasn't able to find a partner. He said he was hoping we'd be partners kaya lang I told him about Gani. Well, we ended up being partners rin so I guess it was destined. Haha=p Kaya lang nga, he met up with his date before we were given our oral adjudication so it made no difference. Sinalo ko yung humiliation all the same.
Glenn thought our case was good and it was strong. But as we were closing gov, we had the burden to elevate the case but instead ours sounded like a rehash. He said he would've given us credit if we were the opening team.
So yun. Btw, I fuckin' screwed up last Saturday. I should have given accreds a great deal of thought. ***t man. I didn't really think that it was a big deal so I opted not to come. Yan tuloy, I gave up chances of being accredited as a varsity member. Not really asssuming that I would get in though. The ones admitted were pretty good but then I guess it was worth a shot. Malay mo. But now, I won't be able to get accreds until next sem pa. It only happens twice a year. Buti nalang patapos na sem. Oh well. Bawi ako. Swear.
I lack sleep. I slept at around 11:30 last night without realizing what time it was. Hon and I had the chance to talk (finally) about our problem and as usual. It may sound stupid but what happens whenever we fight was what happened. He goes on having to say hurtful stuff intentionally offending me and then I give him a parting speech which sounds more of like a sermon with the usual crying effects. We both know each other very well. But before we knew it, we were back to the good ol' times. Ewan ko. Somehow, what he said stuck to me. How he was feeling out of love and all that, how he was sawa na to our relationship and the problem it entails. Oh c'mon dude. You're not that cruel to tell me that. Unless you're not the guy whom I fell in love with or unless you have suddenly changed your personality in less than one week. There were a lot of discussions made and I did try to understand every single word that he said. The it hit me. Maybe things aren't the way they were before. But then again, who says they aren't? Huh. Labo.
It's typically like that. When we spend less time physically together, that's when fights arise. Issues spring out from nowhere kaya we always end up resolving nothing. Kasi there isn't any problem in the first place. He wanted me to start looking for him less and to trust him in eveything he does. He didn't really assure me of anything but I guess he has grown tired of our routine. Oh? And then? I get what he means by that. A little space bro, that's fine. So practically, I haven't texted him one single message since the day has started.
I don't know whether I should be happy with what we have decided as far as our relationship is concerned. I think I'm thinking too much...
Bahala na. It's just a phase. Sana. Besides, it's been one year and almost 3 months. Ngayon pa ba kami bibigay?
I don't care. I'm forcing myself to stay strong anyway. Plus, I have my whole life ahead of me. I can survive. I will. Pero I hope my fear won't be confirmed. Not now, not soon. I'm not ready to give up yet.
[EDIT] Math LT mode. I happened to meet a few cats on my way to the lib kanina. Reminded me of something.
Naalala ko si Ria. She's not really the feline type of person but then she had this thing with the cats roaming around Ateneo. Whenever we had lunch at the Sec Walk, we'd expect cats lurking beneath the benches. Ria always freaks out. Ayos. Hahaha=p She asked me about the email which she formerly received about the 'removal' of cats in Ateneo. They're gonna be burned daw. Talk about animal rights. Ria even said that even if she disliked cats, it's still unfair if they will be given that sort of injustice. Awwww. Reminds me of siopao. Yikes!!!
Siyempre ako, on the other hand, am a cat lover. Pero siyempre, there's a fine line which runs between stray cats and cats of breed. Nonetheless, my childhood was spent into actually adopting these stray cats and giving them a home.
Oo na. Man's bestfriend is better. Cats are too high maintenance, they're lazy and they like to sleep around and treat themselves as royalty (that practically undermines their purpose of being pets in the first place). But face it, they're too cute not to be adored. Those furry little things which just cuddle on the rug or cuddle around your legs looking for affection. I say amen to cats. You make the world more fun to live in. Meooow.ö
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