Monday, November 20, 2006

So don't you ever get to thinkin' you're irreplaceable.


People suddenly run away and disappear without saying goodbye and leaving any reason. No matter how hard you look, no matter how far you are willing to run after them, you never seem to catch up. Until one day, you get tired and you give up. People run away and have their own reasons for doing so, and when they do, they don't want to be found unless they think they are ready to come back and stick to their promise of not hurting you, again.

If you open my accounts (my ym stat, multiply and friendster), you will get to see the statement which I chose to be the title for this post. I don't know. I just happen to like the song because of its beat and meaning. But I don't really intend to make it as a banner for how I am feeling right now in order to come after people who I want to feel the pang of guilt upon hearing this. I think I never will. Well, basically because I'm not that type of girl and I right now, this therapeutic thing called blogging is one of the few things keeping me insane.

(One Tree Hill Soundtrack in the Background)

I was like a human bee last night. I cried really hard like I have never cried before. I was hurt like I was never hurt before and for some reason, I liked it. Not that I would treat it as the sole thing in gauging the status of our relationship right now. Messed up is kind of an understatement. After two weeks of being treated like a princess, I sort of forgot the feeling of having to go through this tragic moment. I may need some time to regain my sense of strength.

And it's as if I can already tell that perhaps, I never will be free of this love that has long captivated my existence. Even if I try to break free from it, I will never ever have the guts to walk away. I have no idea why and it's making me scared. I'm not scared of being alone. I just fear life without him.

:(





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